Thursday, April 3, 2008

Anatomy of a Russian Bride Scam -- IV


Awwwwww...ain't she special? It's too bad the real person on the other end of this probably looks like the upcoming photo in closing Episode V.

Once a Russian bride scammer has a potential target locked on, 'she' doesn't waste any time, getting from her crap-hole-in-the-middle-of-borschtville, to her jumping-off point to the intended victim's delusion: Moscow. Sometimes they'll cross you up and use St. Petersburg, instead. Actually more fitting than Moscow, St. Petersburg is better from an implication angle, since they're lining up to screw you in the end. But in this case, my precious lipshun chose Moscow. And, rather amusingly, a new twist on her name: instead of Iksana, now she's Oksana.

This is what frequently happens when your scamstress has more than one pidgeon in the coop, and starts forgetting what she's writing to whom:

Hello, my Tiger!!! (she kills me)... I so excited to write you again!!! I'm in Moscow!!! You cant imagine how happy I am because I already started my trip to you (ie., they're a step closer to getting to "the rat killing"). I still can't believe I done it!!! Wow!!! Moscow is such big city with many so people!!! Everything here is expensive, not like in my town. But I find place to stay.. (she goes on to describe how she's renting a room from a "70 year old retired policeman who was widowed two years ago". Except for the fact that the last two scammers rented rooms from "a 70 year old retired widow who lost her husband two years ago", it's the template).

Her template continues with an exact copy of what I have seen from two other scammers: He said I have to be very careful....you know he said many girls from small cities come to big cities, they are looking for a better future and fortune but because they are from small cities they can't imagine things are harder to find than they thought, and some of them end up as prostitutes or something like that. He said I should be careful when I meet you!! But I said don't worry about you!! I feel with all my heart that you are really nice man!!

Copied down to the last syllable, except that the two times, it was a 70 year old lady.

She goes on to tell me about how her parents worry about and miss her, but I tell them all about you, and they are happy that you make me happy, and wish me to pursue my dream of being happy with you in America (gag me with a borscht portion). Granted, some parents really are that inattentive and indifferent, but since this is all make-believe, what the heck.

Finally, she ends on this note: I must go now but tomorrow I will see travel agency and get plan for my trip to be with you!!! I will send you it soon as I get it!!! I can't wait for my journey to you to be final!!! I love you, really and truly!!! With love and kisses!!!

I sent her back a short but promising reply:
My darling Iksana/Oksana,
I am confused about the change in your name, but what's a couple letters when one is in love? I am glad you are safely ensconced in Moscow. And with a retired cop, no less! Listen well to him, for all retired cops in Moscow are known to be ethical and above board, just like they are in Mexico (a *TOING* that went over her head, along with her handlers). I wait with eager anticipation as you learn the details of your trip to me, and let me know, so I can re-arrange my life to place you in the center of my very reason to exist (yeah, Two Dogs, I know...but what the heck: I used to say such things and try to mean it in my 20's...works better now on a scammer, than when I meant it LOL). You do be careful in Moscow, and don't wind up getting hired out to service the Kremlin Precinct, okay?

A day later comes what always comes with these scams: she (or he, or "it", or their handlers) finally gets down to the "rat killing":

Hello my darling Tiger (she kills me)!!! Today I learn all about my trip at travel agency and I can't wait to share!!! If this works, I can be with you in three days!!! I hope so much for this to work!!! I so ache in my heart for you my love!!!

After laying out a flight schedule (I'm sure one that I could authenticate), she goes over a little hokum about being nervous with all the plans now, I am a little scared. I hope you will like me and I will not displease you when we meet!!! I wish so I please you our first time, and all times after (yeah, my and every other red-blooded male's fantasy). I feel we know each other and are meant as one from two, yes?

Finally, she gets down to it: I have job all arranged, but won't get salary for a while until I work for some time. I hate to ask this but you are my only hope now (a little *tug* at what they hope is a snared heart string) and I must tell you that I do not have all the money I need for travel. After getting to Moscow, I am learned I need $1285 to come to you, and I am left now only $300. I have all from my relatives I can borrow. Please...you are my last hope. Can you send me $985, so my dream of you can be true? Please send it today by Western Union or Money Gram. I will write you details (and she tells me to send it to Russia, Oksana Baskakova, and to have my Western Union or Money Gram forward it to Credit Europa Bank, 117525, Kirovogradskaya st., 15).

She ends with I am now in your hands, dear love! I will listen to everything you tell me and I will do everything you tell me (LOL, "if it sounds too good to be true...."). I trust you really much! I live for your love and response to make us one!

My reply is meant to her all the hope she's about to cash in:

My very darling Oksana,
You excite me with all these details and promises! Soon you will be mine! And you place your faith in me with good reason: I am exactly what you take me for, and more (biting my lip here). I look so forward to doing what is needed to make my meeting of my only love in the entire universe, a reality! I will get things together here, and soon, you will have the news that will make your heart sore (I reckon she doesn't know the diff between 'soar' and 'sore').

Last up: Episode V -- confusionski, a cold shower and end of the 'dream'.

3 Comments:

Blogger Herb said...

My, but you are a roman tic, aren't you?

04 April, 2008 05:41  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Damn, Skunky, she is legit. Oksana or Iksana is a typo, she is typing English and you are destroying her. Heartless and cruel for an older guy like yourself to crush this young flower.

05 April, 2008 00:28  
Blogger TinT said...

I'm in the middle of corresponding with "My Russian Bride" (yeah, right!). Wouldn't you know it - the pictures you posted appear to be of the same gal! Just thought you'd want to know that all is well with her (except now her 'name' is Evany.

10 August, 2009 13:41  

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