Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Anatomy of a Russian Bride Scam -- II

**Note: in a quick but heart-felt digression, I wanted to thank Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil, who gave me a *Perfect Post Award* for March (my "It's Not Just A Job..." thwacking on an email scammer, back on March 10)...flattery like that will get her a scambait on her behalf ;-) And now, back to the biz at hand**

After two weeks, 'Anna' replies to J. C. Howard's initial drooling, stammering reply. However, one will note that (a) the email address she is sending and receiving from is different yet again ( and (b) her name has changed from 'Anna' to 'Iksana'. But no change in the photos...hubba, hubba.

Just a bit of her rambling, meandering response:

- it is my first time I try to correspondence with man in internet world. I do hope you will be enough patient to understand my writing.
- I want you to know that I have only good intention and I don't have no big secrets (ROFLMAO at that)
- I am from so small town here in Russia Federation, I am afraid to be lost in a new place with no one to take care of and guide me (now, ain't that just the sweetest sh....stuff?)
- I hope that my pictures are okay to you. Do you mind my Slavic appearance (baby, if all Slavic women look like that, ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION FROM EASTERN EUROPE NOW!!!)?
- I look forward to travel to USA to work for three months on visa, and perhaps you will be my guide, my friend, maybe more I think. I wish you to know this about me: I am good girl (yes, I am sure you are a good girl, just as Josef Stalin was merely misunderstood, too).
- It is not looks but the inside person that matter most with me. I ask you this but I wish you understand that it isn't not important with me. How old are you in true? (ol' JC fibbed a tad, and told her he was 45 to her 26).
- I hope you are sincere and kind man that I think you are to reply to me. Men in Russia are rude and cruel, they drink much and don't be responsible. You tell me you are not like this please (well, I could tell her I'm an ax murderer of Twinkies, but since I want this to play out some more, I give her the standard "I'm one of those boring nice guys, Iksana" lines, which actually ain't a lie...just ask my ex-fiancee).
All of the above are from a template I have seen in these letters before; she will take my answers, and adapt them (sort of) to the template, to keep this opportunity (aka, scam) alive.

Now, in past replies, I have been known to play with words, be sarcastic, punnish, etc. This time, I decide to play like I am enthused, enthralled, and just generally taking the bait with hook, line, sinker, etc. In the next installment, I will employ phrases that might melt a movie version of Meg Ryan's heart, but would make some bloggers, like Two Dogs, puke LOL. For now, however, I keep my reply to her response simple:

Dearest Iksana,
So, your name is really Iksana? Iksana...a beautifully exotic name. I like that. I am most pleased to meet you. I am Jerome "Curly" Howard. My friends used to call me "JC". You can, too.

I must say right up front, Iksana, that if you are an example of a textbook "Slavic" woman, you are a credit to Slavs the world over. You are positively radiant, and it is aptly apparent to me that the photos you send me are of one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in these peculiar circumstances.

To answer your age question, my steppes blossom, I will admit to you that I am significantly older than you. I mean, you're only 26, and I am 45. But if such an age difference is of no consequence with you, as you say, then I am certainly okay with it, too. I am also sorry to hear that Russian men are so cavalier and thoughtless with their women, especially when the women are like you; I am just another one of those boring, well-mannered American men, Iksana, who knows how to treat a good woman (my ex-fiancee would be gagging at that, but the thought of her makes me gag as well, so that's a draw and I digress).

I am so terribly sorry to hear that life sucks in Russia. Life here is, on the whole, pretty fine, other than when one slacker party really wants to win an election. As for me, I am buried in my current circumstances, but I dig my lifestyle, despite how grave my responsibilities sometimes are, entombing me with my dead-serious obligations. Still, I manage to shovel out a good time when I need to, and for you, I am thinking it'll soon be time to make with a night life again (okay, I had to indulge in a little word play that I knowd would go over her and her handler's head hyar).

I look so forward to learning more about you, my alluring Iksana, and your plans and dreams for both your future, and perhaps for us, too.

In the next installment, one will see how some of the snippets of information I have provided here are melded into her template, as she begins to bend and shape me to her upcoming designs. And always, with more of them great photos...yowza. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to let her know eventually that she's playing romancing the bones, but one must stay flexible hyar.

Next up: Part III -- More Learning Ahaid


Blogger Little Lamb said...

I found a really neat site that I have to look more into. I think it's right up your alley. It deals with spammers. The site is:

02 April, 2008 04:33  
Blogger Herb said...

You, my friend, are the master.

02 April, 2008 04:54  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

Now why would you think that I would have a problem with your verbiage? You had me at "Dearest." *gasp and swoon*

I certainly appreciate the bikini shots. The one time that I strung along a woman with one of these, she simply refused to send me any good shots. Damn women.

And LL, that site is hilarious, the way they get the scammers to place a fish on their head and stuff. That is certainly not easy.

02 April, 2008 07:35  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Hubba, hubba!!!

Is there any way to search the net to find the source of those photos? I am too much of a neophyte to know how.

I can hardly wait for part III.

Thanks for your comments at my site. Your support is appreciated.

02 April, 2008 08:00  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

jack k, just Google "free porn." Don't worry about virus or pop-ups, they can't hurt your computer.

02 April, 2008 08:59  
Blogger Jack K. said...

two dogs, thanks for the advice. I will be sure to have popcorn nearby and not Cheetos.

03 April, 2008 05:01  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home