Friday, March 28, 2008

Vocabulary Builder V -- Pre-April Fools' Edition


Ah, the rapidly-approaching April First. The sound of remote-controlled fart machines in the air. Saran Wrap on toilets. Whatever other deviltry can be conceived of.

As for me, I just thought I'd put together another one of them so-called vocabulary builders, to further enhance reader lexicology.

That's, I say, that's an April Fools' joke there, son.


Classmate:
- sex education gone way too far
- coffee creamer for the well-to-do
- fellow class member

Copulate:
- lexicological edification of syntax, cruciverbally-speaking
- see previous word, first choice
- criticism of police for arriving after the crime

Depressor:
- instructor who really bums out students
- a nerve that lowers blood pressure
- when she says "not on your life!" at the end of a date

Dildo:
- what pickle bread is made from
- why she says "not on your life!" in previous choice; she gots one and don't need you...
- an extinct bird

Furl:
- to fold up
- to puke a hairball
- Earl's half-wit brother

Haiku:
- Japanese meaning "pound sand-san"
- Japanese meaning "yeah, what Miss Piggy said when she thumped someone"
- Japanese meaning "three line poem of 17 syllables, like....
I think I pass gas
Everybody runs away
it must really stink

Kumquat:
- town in Iraq
- an orange-like fruit
- a well-stimulated quat will, I'm sure...

Misanthrope:
- doesn't have a neck
- person who hates people
- debutante with a 'tude

News flash:
- teleprompter catches fire
- Katy Couric's latest try to boost ratings on the CBS Nightly Nudes...
- single item of important news...to someone...maybe...

Oblique:
- a single guy's chances with a Catholic nun
- declining from the horizontal or vertical
- economic forecast in Ireland

Phantasm:
- something illusionary
- spirit sex
- elephant orgasm

Rebut:
- refute or disprove
- replacement, since the original one didn't fit in them jeans...
- frog meaning...whatever it means to a frog

Satin:
- Redneck meaning "sumpin ah dun satin..."
- a fabric
- Redneck meaning "that Loocifur feller the Rev rags about"

Tetanus:
- Sick video game
- bacterial disease
- Far East New Year celebration of someone's butt

Unitard:
- one piece leotard
- a tard that's good anywhere
- Redneck meaning "we's all tard hyar..."

Wampum:
- to kick the snarf out of
- Indian casino motto
- beads made from shells and strung together

Yahweh:
- Hebrew name for God in the Old Testament
- giving directions...badly
- response when someone says "no way"

Verb sap:
- Latin meaning "sticky substance that oozes from a verb in season"
- Latin meaning "one word's enough"
- Latin meaning "used to beat unruly syntax into line"

Xylocarp:
- hard, woody fruit
- a musical fish
- a foreigner complaining about a hard woody

Zoonosis:
- disease seen in zoo monkeys that causes them to throw their sh..dung
- German meaning "ja, du know mine zister?"
- disease transmitted to humans from animals

Recall:
- something Hillary rarely can
- summon to return
- ruin everything

Pylon:
- one of them robot things in Battlestar Galactica
- structure supporting an aircraft engine
- what the media frequently does without getting facts straight

Difficult:
- hard to do
- what South Park does to Scientology at every opportunity
- a culture of diffidence

Cruet:
- to enforce conscription for a sailing ship
- small container for oil or vinegar
- "screw it" said with a speech impediment

Crowbar:
- place to get raven drunk (ducking boos and throwd items)
- iron bar used as a lever
- aviary musical scale

Defer:
- Redneck meaning "defer taint worth nuthin' hyar"
- postpone
- not to a mink's liking

Claustrophobia:
- a fear of contracts
- a fear of Christmas shopping
- a fear of confining places
Granted, it IS almost April 1st, so I probably didn't mean some of this, did I?

9 Comments:

Blogger Jack K. said...

Is this a multiple choice test?

giggle, giggle, snerx!

28 March, 2008 05:54  
Blogger Stacy said...

Pickle bread?! The things I learn from you. ;)

28 March, 2008 09:18  
Blogger Debbie said...

Depressor. I' know some teachers, friends, and people from all walks of life who fit the description of depressor. No matter how good things are, they find some way to depress me.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

28 March, 2008 11:15  
Blogger NYD said...

If this is you just getting warmed up, I think I will tread carefully around the net on April first.

Loved the billboard!

28 March, 2008 22:39  
Blogger ANNA-LYS said...

"rapedly-approaching"

:-D

30 March, 2008 16:08  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

These are almost TOO funny. I'm sure you'll have a bumper crop for April 1st. And I hope there'll be plenty more after that.:-)

30 March, 2008 19:02  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Next batch is burning in the oven and setting off smoke and language-abuse alarms all over heckydarnpoo. Coming soon to a featheredskunk blog near you (around about April 9). First, you get a five part lesson in Russian Bride Scambaiting ;) Take notes; there is a quiz at the end (you'll soon see what I just did there).

31 March, 2008 04:08  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

You give new meaning to "the dictionay".

31 March, 2008 06:19  
Blogger Mike said...

I would like to help others how to learn foreign language. I build vocabulary flashcards. A major benefit of the flashcards is that they are extremely portable, comfortably fit into my pocket. If I am standing in the queue at the movie theatre or the mall I pluck them out kill some time by revising them. To make cards I use Accelebrain tool.

02 January, 2012 21:02  

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