Monday, April 7, 2008

Vocabulary Builder VI -- Careful What You Wish For


If I had a better photo program, that sign coulda been re-writ to read "Absolutely Nothing -- Next 22 (or so) Words".

With some encouragement from the Verbicidal Tendencies gang, I am going to stretch crucincredulity with some more of that woid play stuff that makes one want to go right out and...buy drugs. Play video games. Get your gentilia pierced. Slap a badger. Ride a porcupine. Onion fart in a full elevator from the front.

Or combine all of them into official IRS Annual Fiscal Proctoscope Day, for all you almost last-minute procrastinators out there.

Me thinks we got the ideer hyar:
Tundra:
- a fat eskimo
- a cold, treeless plain
- a cold, treeless plain populated with fat eskimos

Plethora:
- one of them baby-making parts in a woman
- Endora's first cousin on Bewitched
- an oversupply

Crampon:
- ice climber's spiked footwear
- a cheap tampon
- a female ice climber's feminine protection...ouch


Chenille:
- a frilly fabric
- #5
- The Captain &


Senile:
- Redneck meaning "See'n I'll git er dun"
- This is a...what?
- You talkin' to me?


Flail:
- what I'm doing with this installment
- a genetic eunuch cross between a flounder and a quail
- what a golfer does in a sand trap


Decimate:
- married for the 10th time? Whatta nut..
- used at an internet cafe ta sweeten your syntax...er...somethin...
- destroy


Toady:
- or tomorrow..whatever
- Redneck meaning "toad ye!"
- Sycophant


Sycophant:
- mad elephant that attacked Janet Leigh in Psycho
- toady
- like, wow man, a totally laid back 'phant, dude


Precipice:
- steep place
- I guess even rain's gotta go...
- what cold rain becomes


Quintessential:
- to the movie Jaws, he was...
- being the most typical
- according to Manfred Mann...


Fait Accompli:
- French meaning "a thing already accomplished"
- French meaning "a fat accomplice"
- French meaning "fat chance...let's surrender"


Gauche:
- Spanish meaning "gesundheit"
- Spanish meaning "tactless"
- Spanish meaning "go screw yourself"


Abalone:
- expresses skepticism and demeans lunchmeat at the same time
- one of them towns trapped in Kansas
- a mollusk


Abject:
- the anti-subject
- miserable
- when your abs cramp during sit-ups


Piedmont:
- area along the base of a mountain range
- mythical character that, with a flute, led all the prairie dogs into North Dakota
- to urinate in Montana


Austere:
- stern or severe
- followed by Septembere (ducking boos and throwd items)
- a cow down under


Sublime:
- a bad mortgage deal
- a citrus cull
- supreme


Malice:
- the mother of all lice
- ill-intent
- Bud Ice gone bad (telephonic stalking penguin included)


Vixen:
- a line Mason wouldn't cross
- ill-tempered woman
- German Redneck meaning "alles das broke undt they're vixen it"


Discourse:
- conversation
- denigrate the class material
- denigrate the navigator

Sardonic:
- elixir made from pureed sardines
- the attitude of sardines in general to the above
- mocking


Taciturn:
- a pensive burd
- untalkative
- having painstakingly urned it (more ducking of boos and throwd items)


Dichotomy:
- division into two parts
- another way to say autopsy
- operation to re-attach what she bit off (see obiter dictum, Chapter IV)


Casanova:
- an exploding house
- a ladies' man
- Mexican meaning "house of napalm-quality chili"


Shamrock:
- a fake stone
- a rock band that really sucks
- a clover plant

Forlorn:
- one isn't the loneliest number after all
- A Ford model that was discontinued
- miserable


Zenith:
- Archie's dingbat at her worst
- achieve maximum potential
- an ith of Zen goes a long way, dude


Abacus:
- if one member of the band blew a lyric, what the rest of them did
- a constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil
- an ancient counting device

Perhaps this took the pain out of your IRS homework. Or not...

4 Comments:

Blogger Little Lamb said...

Reading the dictionary again, I see.

07 April, 2008 17:30  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

LOL! I love this stuff!:-)

07 April, 2008 19:27  
Blogger Debbie said...

I like "plethora" Endora's first cousin on Bewitched. It fits. I can see Endora now, she was one of my favorite characters.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

07 April, 2008 19:35  
Blogger Stacy said...

I liked the first definition for quintessential. You get an A+ for creativity!

08 April, 2008 16:35  

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