Vocabulary Builder VI -- Careful What You Wish For

If I had a better photo program, that sign coulda been re-writ to read "Absolutely Nothing -- Next 22 (or so) Words".

With some encouragement from the Verbicidal Tendencies gang, I am going to stretch crucincredulity with some more of that woid play stuff that makes one want to go right out and...buy drugs. Play video games. Get your gentilia pierced. Slap a badger. Ride a porcupine. Onion fart in a full elevator from the front.

Or combine all of them into official IRS Annual Fiscal Proctoscope Day, for all you almost last-minute procrastinators out there.

Me thinks we got the ideer hyar:

Tundra:

- a fat eskimo

- a cold, treeless plain

- a cold, treeless plain populated with fat eskimos

Plethora:

- one of them baby-making parts in a woman

- Endora's first cousin on Bewitched

- an oversupply

Crampon:

- ice climber's spiked footwear

- a cheap tampon

- a female ice climber's feminine protection...ouch

Chenille:

- a frilly fabric

- #5

- The Captain &

Senile:

- Redneck meaning "See'n I'll git er dun"

- This is a...what?

- You talkin' to me?

Flail:

- what I'm doing with this installment

- a genetic eunuch cross between a flounder and a quail

- what a golfer does in a sand trap

Decimate:

- married for the 10th time? Whatta nut..

- used at an internet cafe ta sweeten your syntax...er...somethin...

- destroy

Toady:

- or tomorrow..whatever

- Redneck meaning "toad ye!"

- Sycophant

Sycophant:

- mad elephant that attacked Janet Leigh in Psycho

- toady

- like, wow man, a totally laid back 'phant, dude

Precipice:

- steep place

- I guess even rain's gotta go...

- what cold rain becomes

Quintessential:

- to the movie Jaws, he was...

- being the most typical

- according to Manfred Mann...

Fait Accompli:

- French meaning "a thing already accomplished"

- French meaning "a fat accomplice"

- French meaning "fat chance...let's surrender"

Gauche:

- Spanish meaning "gesundheit"

- Spanish meaning "tactless"

- Spanish meaning "go screw yourself"

Abalone:

- expresses skepticism and demeans lunchmeat at the same time

- one of them towns trapped in Kansas

- a mollusk

Abject:

- the anti-subject

- miserable

- when your abs cramp during sit-ups

Piedmont:

- area along the base of a mountain range

- mythical character that, with a flute, led all the prairie dogs into North Dakota

- to urinate in Montana

Austere:

- stern or severe

- followed by Septembere (ducking boos and throwd items)

- a cow down under

Sublime:

- a bad mortgage deal

- a citrus cull

- supreme

Malice:

- the mother of all lice

- ill-intent

- Bud Ice gone bad (telephonic stalking penguin included)

Vixen:

- a line Mason wouldn't cross

- ill-tempered woman

- German Redneck meaning "alles das broke undt they're vixen it"

Discourse:

- conversation

- denigrate the class material

- denigrate the navigator

Sardonic:

- elixir made from pureed sardines

- the attitude of sardines in general to the above

- mocking

Taciturn:

- a pensive burd

- untalkative

- having painstakingly urned it (more ducking of boos and throwd items)

Dichotomy:

- division into two parts

- another way to say autopsy

- operation to re-attach what she bit off (see obiter dictum, Chapter IV)

Casanova:

- an exploding house

- a ladies' man

- Mexican meaning "house of napalm-quality chili"

Shamrock:

- a fake stone

- a rock band that really sucks

- a clover plant

Forlorn:

- one isn't the loneliest number after all

- A Ford model that was discontinued

- miserable

Zenith:

- Archie's dingbat at her worst

- achieve maximum potential

- an ith of Zen goes a long way, dude

Abacus:

- if one member of the band blew a lyric, what the rest of them did

- a constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil

- an ancient counting device

Perhaps this took the pain out of your IRS homework. Or not...