Scam Reverend Is Easily Offended

Once in a while it doesn't take much to upset and insult an online scammer.

It certainly amuses the pet rocks, Seymour and Element.

Recently, I received this email from a Reverend David Ignatius:

On behalf of the Trustees and Executors of the Estate of Late Jim Mansfield Sr., I once again try to contact you as my several letters were returned undelivered.  I hereby decided to reach you again with this same email, as given to me by one of the witnesses to the WILL.

I write to inform you that Late Jim Mansfield Sr., made you a
beneficiary in his WILL.  He left the sum of Five Million, Three Hundred Thousand US dollars ($5,300.000.00) in your name.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you since none of his family members seem to know you, but this is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he
must have been in contact with you in the past or you were nominated to him by one of
his numerous friends abroad who trust your ability and integrity. According to him, this
money is to help the poor and create jobs.

Mr. Late Jim Mansfield Sr., until his death was an Irish billionaire, a property mogul and a Government contractor. He died on the 29 January 2014 at the age of 74, and his
WILL is now ready for execution. Please, if this email reach you, do endeavor to get back
to me ASAP with your telephone number.

Rev. David Ignatius

Granted, he may have reached out to my email address in the past...and I found his effort boring enough to *delete* and forget about.

Not this time:

The letters would never have been returned undeliverable if (a) they were sent to the right address and (b) they were not full of sh*t.

'Rev' Ignatius was clearly not happy with that reply:

It’s all your fault. Because you probably gave a wrong address. Kindly reconfirm your contact address and the name you want the letter to sent to. 

If I could upset him that easily, let's up the ante:

How is it my fault that you're full of sh*t?

...and here we go:

Stop insulting me. Because I am not the cause of your problems. 

LOL...you're trying to be the cause OF a problem, Rev, but you're far too inept to be able to pull your Third World sh*t here.  And these are hardly insults.  If you'd like me to truly insult you, let me know.

I said stop insulting me. Do as you instructed.

I haven't yet started insulting you.  I mean, I didn't tell you to stop your mother from running out from under the porch and biting people on the leg, or chasing cars now, did I?

At least, not until then.

Stop!!!  

Not yet time to stop.  Nor did I call you a plunger lipped, single-digit IQ'd moron of dubious antecedence.  Granted, you are that, but I didn't call you that...until just now.  Okay, now you may feel insulted.  

STOP!!!!!!!!

You know, you're right:  I should stop.  I'll make it a point to consider that later.  For now, I hope you're doing this independently and not as part of a ramshackle internet cafe operation; your handlers would not be the least bit pleased with your monumental display of abject suck at what you're trying to do and failing miserably at.  If you're going to play an internet Rev, the least you can do is make it more believable than Pastor Gas.  Stop acting like a perpetually offended democrap snowflake and grow a pair of 'nads, laddie.  Sheesh.

That was apparently the last straw for the easily offended candidate for a cnn internship.  He'd fit right in there but wanted no more of repartee here.