Bidumber By The Day

Yup...bidumber by the day.

And his poll numbers show it.

Not that he notices...he thinks a poll number is how many poles it takes to run a fence around his property, but not on the southern border.

Bidumb recently gave a speech wherein he said he ran for president for three reasons.  And conveniently forgot to mention the third.

It was probably because they told him there'd be ice cream.

At any rate, my "editing gone wild" pet rocks, Seymour and Element, couldn't help but notice.

And decided to have a little fun with Bidumb.

Not something that little kids experience.

So:

My 'editing gone wild' pet rocks, Seymour and Element, love perusing what no longer passes for news these days. More like leftist impropaganda, much of which is so much verbal inert compost.

Recently, they found an audio of clip of #fjb, telling an audience the “three reasons” he ran for president...in which he forgot the third, and he totally lied about the first two.

In short, typical #fjb.\

Here's what Bidumb actually managed to utter almost coherently:

BIDUMB: When I ran for President I said I was running for three reasons.  One, to restore the soul of the country — to have some — restore some decency in how we dealt with one another.  (Cued Applause.)  And two — and two, to rebuild the backbone of the country: hardworking, middle-class folks and working-class folks who built the country.  Folks on Wall Street aren’t bad, but they didn’t build America.  The people who work — coming out of this school are the ones who built America.  They built America, and they’ve been left behind for much too long.  We’re going to rebuild this economy from the bottom up and the middle out.  (Cued Applause.) 

Being rather adept at interpreting Bidumb-stammer, Seymour came up with a more telling adaptation of Bidumb's rambling, disjointed dissertation:

Why I Ran from Forrest Dump

By #FJB (with dizzying circle back from Jen Psuki)

When I ran from US Sedate, I said much and nothing about y'know, the thing, to which was that of which, um, uh, squinting at teleprompter I had three raisins for this. One, I wanted to re-soil the soul of the country for freaks and pedophiles to have some relief from decency which doesn't fit for the soulless society I am attempting to create a few lame aides clapping in the background.

And three...*holding up two fingers* I wanted to re-bush the ham bone of the county with migrant trains of the unwashed, the unvaxxed and the easily re-gendered masses from south of the broader who will help dissolve the country as it once was while we make up the most elabrador processes to steal erections, so that only in this curd or whey could I get 81 million ice creams cones to get me a job outside of Walget *even lamer applause from embarrassed aides*

Remember that without me, store elves would not be employed and container slips would not be swamping our ports or starbucks, so beaver are they to share in my 'get woke go broke' crimepaign of getting my family all the crack and hookers they can paint and smell as fart.

The legitimate president, Trump, would never have allowed what I am. That's why you fired me. Can I go now? I just had an accident...whoa. My pressed suckretary will take it from here to...uh...um...*walks off podium and falls off-camera*

No immediate responses to Seymour's edit have been received, though I suspect his status as a future concentration camp attendee -- for not having been vaxxed against the OMGLODE variant of #fjb virus -- got moved up a few notches.

"Have NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!"