Skunkfeathers: One Scam Kills Off Another

What's more, somewhere, someone is cooking up a scam using COVID as their vehicle of choice.

Meh.

Like this Third World nincompoop tried:

Covid-19 SPREADING FASTER, Be Safe,Good new i have a donation for you

REPLY ME HERE(drfreddavid000000@zohomail.com)

Hello Friend,

This is the story of my life. I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and also covid-19. It has defied all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well that I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business.Though I very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was then only thing I supported for.But now I regret all I know now there is no life I just want to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way of how I lived. Now that God has called me, I wanted and given most of my property and assets to members of my immediate and extended family and some close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I decided to set goals to charities, as I want it to be one of the last acts that I do on earth. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I can not make myself more.

Once, I asked my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money I have there to charity in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money for themselves. Therefore, I do have more trust, because they do not seem to be supported by what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows cash deposit is the largest of US$40million Dollars ($ 40,000,000,00) that I deposited in a bank. I want you to help me collect this deposit and distribute it to charity organizations.Kindly note that 35% of this fund must go to the coronavirus victims in your country, 45% of Charity in your country and the other 20% for your effort and time.I I use my laptop to communicate with you in the hospital. You must answer back to me if you're interested in carrying out this assignment on

my name.

God be with you.

Dr Fred David

Mighty nice of him, eh?

The rat killing portion of his scam was to come later, when I'd be directed to pay legal and document procurement fees for the funds...funds that don't exist.

With the pet rocks and deactivated Alexa taking a break from the rigors of watching me try in vain to repair a delapidated vacuum cleaner -- one that's spreading dust better than it picks it up -- I thought I'd help out Dr. Fred a tad with a bit of an edit to his missive, sharing it with dozens of his peers and collies. It went thus:

From: Dr Fred David <ddhlcompany88@gmail.com>Sent: Friday, November 12, 2021 2:33 PMSubject: Covid-19 SPREADING FASTER THAN LEGS IN A WHORE HOUSE

REPLY ME HERE(drfreddavid000000@zohomail.com)

Herroooo,

This is the story of my life, which I am trying to sell to Nutflux as a made for TV movie starring Fluffy the Vampire Layer. Steffan Schmielborg to direct and co-produce along with a head of cabbage. If I can keep Alec Baldwin from shooting the cinematographers, this might get done in time for the Emma Watson awards in 2024 or so. But I digress.

I was diagnosed with colo-rectal tongue cancer after french kissing a life-sized inflatable sex doll of maligNANCY Pelosi at a drunken pedophile party in Joe Bidumb's basement hideout in Vermont.

It has defied all forms of vaccination and right now I have only months to work before I am laid by former WWE pancaker Nia Jax on Fright Day Night Smack Doom on a pay-per-view in Newark.

I have not particularly lived my life so well that I can count on Leslie Nielsen agreeing to play me on the Zulu adaptation of my screen play being made for an off-Broadway venue. The same medium-extra-large that told me Nia Jax was going to pancake me also intimated that Nielsen is too busy in his current role of being dead to portray me in anything on this side of the Astral bridge. A shame, that, shirley.

I was going to recruit the abject bimbo Alecsandroid Occasional Cortez as a single-IQ'd bar fly, but since being erected to congruence by the madhatters in NYC, she's gotten too stupid to play the part. I considered replacing her with the dumb and dumber from The View, but goldbroad and bewhore are way too wide for panavision. Besides, this ain't intended as a horror flick.

Though I was once very rich, I was never bright with my money, having invested in such things as a line of pet rock fashions, hummus, Hellary Clinton brand bikini bottoms and a flying car that doubles as a space vehicle and waffle iron. I wish someone had told me that K-tel and Ronco were out of business.

I was always hostile to people that farted in e-flatulence and only focused on the ones that could hit c sharp. But now I regret not having joined Yoko Ono's worldwide recorder concert on a South Park episode, 'cuz that brown note they hit would have saved me from being full of sh*t. What a relief that would have been.

I know now there is no life but that of a cocaine-snorting son of a pedophile fauxtus.

I believe when God reviews my life file, he'll give me a second chance as a redwood tree in northern Kaliforlornia, where I may finally witness an actual Big Foot manufacturing jerky like they do on TV.

Now that God has called me, I need to change my phone number.

Once I imagined a life as a gigolo in a luxury resort in Pakistan; that's what I get for sniffing glue when trying out for a role in the movie Airplane. Therefore, I now imagine becoming a bellhop at a Motel 6 near the Newark airport. Reality does have a way of restructuring dreams, eh? Never thought I'd find kevlar as useful as underwear, either. Quite a place.

The last of my money which no one knows about is in the form of gold plated lacquered cat turds cleverly disguised so that no one will suspect that they are, in fact worthless. I plan to sell them to gift shops at Third World airports and democrap conventions where people are so stupid they think aoc is really an economist.

I want you to help me, though as I re-read this email I find that I am quite beyond all help. Kindly note that 35% of nothing is....35% of nothing. Hmmm. Funny how that works out.

Before they cancel The Gong Show, I want this fund must go to the coronavirus victims on Uranus, with the balance to go to the purchase of helium which is to be given to Jen Psuki before every circle back. She won't be any more truthful, but at least she'll be funny.

You must answer back to me in coded Azerbaijani kanji script if you're interested in carrying out this assignment on my name.

May what you're eating be a Baby Ruth, and not something looking similar.

Dr Fred David

This did not get a follow up from the originating scammer, but a couple of scammers from previous efforts that still have working emails also received this, and did bother to reply:

will you stop sending emails you asehole

...while the other one didn't quite comprehend what it was he read:

Ok Dr, when you need to receive your Fund let me know thank you.