Yeah I Know What Day It Is

But this edit is more fun than Valentine's Day, and on accounta who it's purported to be from.

I mean, how many of YOU get an email from the current US Attorney General?

Neither did my character...but he's supposed to think he did.

Read it and see how convincingly writ it is:


Department of Justice
Office of the Attorney General441 4th Street NW,
Suite 1145S,
Washington, DC 20001.

Attention Beneficiary

 We received  urgent  letter  from the Federal Bureau of Investigation
(FBI) here in the United States  over allegations of money laundering
activities with United Nation (UN) and  Nigeria bank officials to
which there is over whelming evidence of your involvement,base on  the
report we got from Nigeria information Minister Mr Lai Mohammed and
(Nigeria Financial Intelligence Unit NFIU) in charge of financial
matters in Nigeria.In view of the indicting report submitted to
Federal Bureau of Investigation ( FBI) by the  Mrs Vera Uzo the
director of (Nigeria Financial Intelligence Unit) Who took over of
financial matter in Nigeria after  Mr IBRAHIM LAMORDE the formal EFCC
chairman  was fired from office with some  bank official by Nigeria
Government.

Mrs Vera Uzo of ( NFIU)  complain that some individual are using
different names through  different ministries to forge Government
Certificate with beneficiaries within the past government in other to
get their fund claim from Nigeria government which has not been
possible,However, Nigeria  government has to stop all foreign payment
from 2010 till MAY 2017 before payment review order was release by
their President Mr Mohammed Buhari  for the continuation of over due
payment.

Mrs Vera Uzo of Nigeria Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU),  also
complain before (FBI) that you did not obtain their  Government
(Presidential Authorization Payment Certificate )( PAPC)( from their
government office for the clearance of your fund rather you involve
your self with fake lawyers and bank directors to forge government
documents without recourse to the rules of law..

We are giving you notice of service of writ of summons after seven
days of receiving this letter by mail. Note, base on your response to
this complain you Will be given direct contact information from on how
you will contact Mrs. Vera Uzo the director of Nigeria Financial
Intelligence Unit commission chairman.

Justice delayed is justice denied.

Yours faithfully,
US Attorney General Jeff Sessions  

Yup...me neither.

But that's okay...if this were actually FROM the real AG, he would believe as much of this edit as my character bought his email:

From: US Atturkey Genital Geoff Sneeizures <mrdavidgamba7@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, January 8, 2018 10:10 AM
Subject: Department of Justice Office of the Atturkey Genital  

 Department of Justice

Office of the Atturkey Genital

441 4th Street NW,
Suite 1145S,
Washington, DC 20001.

Attention

We received  a letter of dubious antecedence from the Federal Burrito of Investigation
(FBI) here in the United States  portion of Washington DC over allegations of money laundering
activities with United Nation (UN) and  Nigeria bank officials to which there is over whelming

evidence of Hellary's involvement in the spin cycle along with that of cnn, msnbc, the DNC,

Loretta Lynchmob, BLM and other related bowel movements, Hollyweird and the bent ear

buffoon, Stephen Colbert.

 

But that's not why I'm writing.

 

Further, our investigation of the infamous dossier of even more dubious antecedence

strongly suggests that Robert Mueller has been photogiraffed with Bela Pelosi and an

inflatable Debbie Wasserman-Medusa sex toy outside a Georgetown Motel 6 at 0245

on November 9 of 2016, offering to do unspeakable things to a tour group from

Liechtenstein.

 

But that's not why I'm writing.

 

Further, the report we got from Nigeria information Minister Mr Lai Mohammed and
(Nigeria Financial Intelligence Unit NFIU) in charge of financial matters in Nigeria

indicates that the abacus used by the NFIU has been violated by a yak that shoulda

took that left toin at Albuquerque, creating an accounting nightmare that Liam

Neeson can't commute his way out of, regardless of the box office.

But that's not why I'm writing.

Of note, the report submitted to Federal Burrito of Investigation ( FBI) by Mrs Vera Uzo

born again virgin-debunked director of (Nigeria Financial Intelligence Unit) who took over

molesting Meryl Strep on behalf of Harvey Weinstein in all financial matter in Nigeria after

 Mr IBRAHIM LAMORDE the formal EFCC chairman  was fired from office with some  bank

official by Nigeria Government for allowing themselves to be groped by the ex-Senator

Al Franken.

 

Nawp...that's still not why I'm writing.

Mrs Vera Uzo of ( NFIU)  complain that some individual are using
different names through  different ministries to forge Government
Certificate with beneficiaries within the past government in other to
get their fund claim from Nigeria government which has not been
possible.  However, Nigeria  government learn that it has been some
crybaby from cnn who has been fouling his knickers ever since
the American POTUS called him and his nitwit network "fake news".

And it's proven true.

No, the reason that I am contacting you today is because I, the
atturkey genital, wet my bed and since that untoward occurrence I cannot get Stephen Colbert, Orpah Belfry and Amy Supersized
Schumer out of it, non sequitur as that sounds.

 We are giving you notice of service of writ of summons after seven
days of receiving this letter by mail. Note, base on your response to
this peculiarity you will be given direct contact information from on how
you will contact Mrs. Vera Uzo for the porpoise of explaining a fish called

Wanda and why it looks so very much like Bernie Sanders and a meth-crazed

sharpai named Booger.

 Justice delayed is justice that's going to try to claim to be reconstituted

virginal.

Yours faithfully,
US Atturkey Genital Geoff Sneeizures

and soon to appear in the upcoming mockumentary

"Chappaqua's on Fahr and A Lot Of Reasons Hellary Won't

Let You Throw A Bucket of Water At It"

What comes as no surprise after such an edit on Valentine's Day, I heard nothing further from the atturkey genital.

But my pet rock is certain that he's seed the bent eared bugger and cnn's crybaby lurking in the parking lot...