Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Antelope FAIL

No, the hospital isn't trying to scam my character.  But someone wants me to believe that an email address from said hospital is.

*Note to Amber Miller:  you been hacked.  Just sayin'..*

Here's the ploy which has nothing to do with the hospital at all:

Amber Miller <>

compliments of the day to you
with no doubt God have favor
you. Ms. Zhe Wang picked you
please do send an email to<>
for more info... stay blees!

*********** Notice Regarding Privacy and Confidentiality ************
The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity
to which it is addressed and may contain confidential and/or
privileged material.  Any review, retransmission, dissemination or
other use of, or taking of any action in reliance upon, this
information by persons or entities other than the intended recipient
is prohibited.  If you received this in error, please contact the
sender and delete the material from any computer.
Antelope Valley Hospital reserves the right to monitor and review
the content of all e-mail communications sent and/or received by
its employees.
If this WAS from Amber Miller, I would hope that she writes better diagnoses and prescriptions than this.  Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.....I rectum it ain't from Amber Miller of said hospital. 
And it probably isn't even from Mrs Zhe Wang.
Be that as it ain't, my edit took it even further from wherever it wanted to be going:
From: Amber Miller <>
Sent: Thursday, June 1, 2017 2:48 PM
To: Amber Miller
condiments of the day to you; today it's chopped onions.

 With no doubt the deity of choice we follow h'yarbouts -- a goat head baphomet that doubles as a dildo for large farm animals -- have favored  you in glorious covfefe on this day of days. Ms. Zhe Wang picked you and would be pleased to pick your nose as well so to please her and all of
her peculiarities thereby please do send an email to   <mail to:>  for more info that is sure to cause painful rectal itch and convulsive sphcinter failure in the cnn studios ... stay blees and don't forget to pull the butt floss out once in a while so you don't wind up with a thong in your heart.  iheart radio won't play that.

 *********** Notice Regarding Privy Confidentiality ************

 The information as transmitted is intended only for the person or entity
using the biological waste transferrence facility wherein this information
was etched into a stall wall so that users herein could read and be lured
by curiosity or abject stupidity to respond. 

It is clearly privy material, and it may contain confidential and/or
covfefe material.  Any review, retransmission, dissemination or
other use of, or taking of any action in reliance upon, this
information by persons or entities other than those using this
specific privy is prohibited, but damned if we have any idea how
we gonna regulate that.  Maybe with a hash tag or sumpin. 
If you was in the next privy over, and saw it in the mirror you
slipped underneath to spy on the person using the privy wherein
this message was etched, you are one sick bastard...which makes
you one of us.  That be the case, please contact the sender and
sign up for our hiring covfefe special running all the month of June
and probably the next month too.  

  Antelope Valley Hospital's email musta got hacked and they have no
friggin' ideer what any of this is about, or how a deer wound up
in an antelope hospital.  You just can't get good help in the danged
triage anymore.  
Galapagos Tortoise farts...not mentioned in the Paris
Climate Accordion but prolly shoulda orta been... are ignored along with the
whole piece of crapazoid thang.  Your results will vary if you're looking
for a colostomy.  We do 'em different on antelope.

My pet rock, Seymour, was disappointed that no reply was received from either Amber Miller or Zhe Wang.  He was curious if the horspital did pet rock colonoscopies.
"Was NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFT!!!"


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Blogger Sandee said...

Seymour cracks me up. Pet rock colonoscopies.

Have a terrific day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

02 August, 2017 08:48  

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