Friday, August 7, 2015

The Pet Rock Has Bad News For Hellary

Yeah, hrc ain't gonna much like this 'un.

My pet rock, Seymour, doesn't just like busting on Kim Jong Un.

A story about hrc's crimepaign proved to be editing fodder for the pet rock determined to win a Pullmyfanger award.

"Am NOT!!!"


AP-GfK Poll: Clinton's standing falls among dead voters

By Seymour PetRock several days worth of hours ago  

WASHINGTON (PRNS) — Hellary Rodham Clinton's standing is falling among dead voters, even in Shotcago, as corpses more and more view her as less decisive and inspiring than a cockleburr enema, according to a new Anal Probe-WtF poll.  

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The survey offers a series of warning signs for the leading Democrapic candidate amongst one of her most consistent constituencies. Most troubling, perhaps, for her prospects are questions about her inability to wear anything other than pant suits.

Just 3.9 percent of all American dead in cemeteries registered without their knowledge to vote Democrap have a favorable view of Clinton, compared to almost 5% of illegal aliens from Uranus, from an AP-WtF poll conducted at the end of April.

Zombies have a 99% unfavorable view of Clinton, since they want brains and won't find them with her.

The drop in Clinton's numbers extends into some of the live ones in the Democrap Party. Seven in 10 Democraps gave Clinton a hearty “phffffffffffffft”, requiring Clinton crimepaign aides to overdub the raspberries with seal barks. Nearly half the seals in San Francisco Bay now say they see Clinton in an unfavorable light, too.

"I used to like her, then I heard her speak," said Donald Trump of an opposing view point. "Ever since I've had to listen to sound bytes of her I just haven't liked the way she's like fingernails on a blackboard. And she lies like my hair...not well."

While Clinton's favorability rating fell among the dead, Obola's ability to get media time ahead of Kim Kardashian's mondo ass stayed constant at 46 percent since April.

A good part of Clinton's decline is due to even dead people seeing how fake and insincere she is. Though Clinton has spent decades in the public eye, she hasn't gotten any better about lying and fabricating stuff.

The survey suggests that dead voters aren't sold on her reinvention: Only .01 in 10,000,000 dead voters say they view Clinton as "not more annoying than Beetlejuice." Just .001 in 10,000,000 said the word "honest" described her in any form whatsoever.
 
George Stephanknockabus, a Democrap political commontater says he finds Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders and Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren far less slimey than his former employer's wife – though he'll help his dead relatives vote for Clinton if he has to, though he'd rather hold his nose and have them vote for the Donald to get a hair piece.
 
The percentage of respondents calling Clinton better than an inflatable Joe Bidumb slipped from .04 percent to .037 percent.

Even the number of cartoon character voters saying Clinton is “ack PHOOEY” rose from 50 percent in April to 67 percent in the new poll.

"She's pretty much a substandard runt-of-the-mill Democrap," said Mark Mywords of what's left of Deadtroit, Michigan. "There's nothing really useful about her."

Other polls released this week show any TV show with the Kardashians polls about as well as watching a Lena Dunham colonoscopy seeking intelligent life. A Washington Pourous-msnbc survey found an uptick in web searches for pictures of Debbil Washingmachine Snitz with crossed eyes, while a Suckfolk University-cnn poll showed a largely net negative rating for what held-together-with-bondo Cher thinks about anything.

That means the downturn for Clinton among dead voters is a troubling trend for the pants suited dumpling Democrap candidate, underscoring the need for leftist vote fraudsters to start registering trees and shrubs to vote.

Democraps argue that a drop in her numbers is a predictable result of people figuring out what Hellary really is, and they demand that Obola sign an executive order banning making fun of this screechy broad. Republicans, meanwhile, attribute the drop to the fact that she's a piece of leftist crap.

Clinton's bad marks weren't unique: Nearly every TV show featuring painful rectal itch portrayed as msnbc shared her underwater approval ratings.
___
The AP-WtF Poll of 1,004 dead registered voters according to the DNC was conducted online telepathically using ITC technology to cross the Astral Bridge and determine results last Thursday to Monday, using a sample drawn from WtF's possumbility-based KnowNothingPanel, which is designed to be representative of the demographics of decedents in the U.S. Post-living population. The margin of sampling error for all respondents is plus 3.4 or minus 100 percentage points.
Respondents were first selected randomly using cemetery directories, and later interviewed online via the Astral Bridge. People selected for KnowNothingPanel were interviewed first by Watters; the stupider they sounded, the more likely they made the panel.  


Yeah, Seymour, I see a Pullmyfanger award in your future with this one.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"


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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

She's not doing well is she. I also think Seymour did a great job here. I've always thought Seymour is brilliant.

Have a terrific day Seymour. My best to your dad. ☺

07 August, 2015 10:26  

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