Thursday, May 14, 2015

ECOWAS Meets ACOWSASS

That appears to sum up what it's like to be a member of the online scammers of ECOWAS, which is an acronym for some West African economic alliance.

Here is their latest and substandard ploy:


Attn Package Beneficiary:

I want to acknowledge you that we have finally succeeded in getting your package worth’s of $7.5 million out of (ECO-WAS) Economic Community of West African States department with the help of Mr. James George Attorney General of Federal High Court of Justice Benin Republic which act as your foreign Attorney representative here in Benin Republic.

Meanwhile every necessary arrangement has been made successfully with the Agent Steve Raymond for the delivery of your Consignment Box and every Document guiding your delivery is well updated so you are advised to reconfirm your full delivery information to the Agent right now as he is currently at Atlanta Georgia International Airport with your Consignment Box. He has already called me with his number on his arrival 4 hours ago.

So you are advice to reconfirm your full delivery information to the diplomat and ask him to send you your DHL Airway Bill so as to prove to you that he is currently in your country also ask him to give you his mobile number so as to have easy conversation with him and to enable you give him full direction to get your Consignment Box delivered to you and hand you over your Consignment Box safe and sound, Furthermore you are advice to be very fast as the Agent Steve has no time to waste due to his flight ticket. So the Information you are required to reconfirm to the Agent is as Follow.

(1)Your Full Name=============
(2)Mobile Phone Number======
(3)Current Home Address==== ====
(4)Fax Number================
(5)Country====================
(6)City======================
(7)Nearest Airport ==============
(8)Passport/Drivers license ======

Kindly contact him via his email address, Contact person, Name Steve Raymond Email Address (agentsteve01@inbox.lv) So contact him to deliver your consignment box first thing tomorrow morning possibly today, Make sure the bellow stated codes are identified when contacting him and the content of the box should not be revealed for his does not know the content as it's a VIP Delivery dispatched directly from my office and the director of the Company.

SHIPMENT CODE GJK72DWQ
PACKAGE REGISTERED CODE NO OVX950.
SECURITY CODE EYTU/3055WEZ/263/

SINCERELY
Dr.Desmond Great
CALL ME AFTER GOING THROUGH THE EMAIL +229-99599150
The Director of DHL Courier Company Benin Republic.​
     


Here's what it became once it left my character's email address and went back to them and 50 or so of their friends and cowlleagues:


On Thursday, April 30, 2015 1:58 AM, DESMOND GREAT <susana_musaubach@speedy.com.ar> completely missed the fact that while under the influence of meth and an energy drink that she snorted through her genitals, wrote: 
 
Attn Package Beneficerary:

I want to acknowledge you that we have again failed utterly in getting your package worth’s of $7.5 million out of (ACOWSASS) Economic Clusterfuck of West African States department, even with the dubious at best help of Mr. James George Attorney General of Federal High Court of Justice Benin Republic; the package made it into Baltimore, just in time to get pillaged and raped along with all the contents of a Twinkies and toilet specialties fast food and faster toilet supplies store.

Yes, we did say it got both pillaged AND raped.  We must say that Al Sharpton has some pretty low life specimens he uses in his staged riots routine. 

We are suitably nonplused to learn of this development after all the crap we went through to put this shenanigan together.  Imagine our chagrin to learn that a mob of Obola voters did to our package what we'd planned to do to your wallet.  Granted, we weren't sure how we were going to pull off the rape of your wallet, but we might have figured it out before those undocumented shoppers and alternative sex practitioners in Baltimore beat us to it.  Asshats.

Meanwhile every necessary arrangement is being considered to try and come up with some viable alternative so that we can save the game in the fourth corner as they say in your game of football.  Our version of a "Hail Ethel" is even now being pondered, along with the pondering of why Hillary Clinton's ass is so big.  Perhaps it's because she's all ass or something.  At any rate, our Agent Steve Raymond is waiting at a Port Authority bus terminal for a riot to pass there, hoping that the bus still has tires, windows, a working engine and a place to sit when they're done.  When they loot in your country, they spare nothing.  Al Sharpton must give them detailed lists.  Air Jordans and toilet paper?  The first we envy; the second we are totally unfamiliar with.

So please be patient while we come up with an alternative Consignment Box for you.  Of course, it requires us to have to come up with new Document guiding your delivery that this time totally avoids what's left of Burntimore.  We think we'll try this via Atlanta Georgia International Airport this time.  Our agent is hiding out in a rest room there hoping not to get pillaged and raped before we can get the alternative Consignment Box put together and sent there. He has already called me with his number on his arrival 4 hours ago and wishes someone would come explain how the toilet thing works.

So you are advice to reconfirm your full delivery information to the diplomat and ask him to send you your DHL Airway Bill...oh wait, that was with the first box that got pillaged and raped in Burntimore.  Never mind.  Just reconfirm your full delivery informations so as to prove to you that he is currently in your country also ask him to give you his mobile number so as to have easy conversation with him and to enable you give him full direction to get your Consignment Box delivered to you and hand you over your Consignment Box safe and sound.  We know we can't do that via Burntimore.  

Furthermore you are advice to be very fast as the Agent Steve has no time to waste due to his inability to remain long in a rest room in the Atlanta airport field.  He's afraid the toilet might attack him.  He says it remind him of canivore.  See what we just do there?

So the Information you are required to reconfirm to the Agent is as Follow.

(1)Your Full Name=============
(2)Mobile Phone Number======
(3)Current Home Address==== ====
(4)Fax Number================
(5)Country====================
(6)City======================
(7)Nearest Airport Not Pillaged/Raped By Al Sharpton's Paid Rioters==============
(8)Passport/Drivers license ======

Kindly contact him via his email address, Contact person, Name Steve Raymond Email Address (
agentsteve01@inbox.lv).  He says he has good internet signal in rest room stall right now.   So contact him to deliver your consignment box first thing tomorrow morning possibly today, Make sure the bellow stated codes are identified when contacting him and the content of the box should not be revealed for his does not know the content as it's a VIP Delivery dispatched directly from my office and the director of the Company.

SHIPMENT CODE: WTFITS?
PACKAGE REGISTERED CODE: WTFDYTII?
SECURITY CODE: DEVIL BUNNIES DEVIL BUNNIES I SNORT THE BANANA

SINCERELY
Dr.Desmond Great
Director Of Email Masturbation 
DHL Courier Company Benin Republic.​
CALL ME AFTER GOING THROUGH THE EMAIL +229-99599150;
DON'T CALL ME IF AL SHARPTON'S PAID RIOTERS GET TO IT FIRST  
 
 
In response, I received a reply that was void of any text of any kind.  I didn't just leave them speechless...I left them everythingless.
 
Moo.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. Great rewrite. And speechless is good.

Have a fabulous day. My very best to my buddy Seymour. ☺

14 May, 2015 08:36  

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