In my spam folder I get a lot of discounted drug advertisements.
All with links...most of which end in .ru....Russia.
Whether or not they actually ARE in Russia, who knows?
I just know they end in .ru.
My latest one made me laugh, because the drug spammer made three attempts to spell Viagra. And went 0 for 3.
Here's the email:
From: Try Vigraa
Sales Sales Sales
Winter is over. Melt the ice with our best Vaigra pils !
** Propecia - 0.10$
-- Leivtra - 1.89$
-> Cailis - 1.74$
** Vagra - 0.65$
He didn't do any better with the other drugs, save, I think, for Propecia. And at the bottom was a link to some gawd-knows-where site.
Well, despite the fact that the email address this was listing as sent from was probably borscht, I decided to have some funski with the email, just on accounta cuz. Besides, it would allow me to annoy Andrew Green some more (see previous post).
It came out like dis heah:
Subject: Inane discomps
Helloski good capitalist!
Sales Sales Sales...we gotz sales, yes we do, we gotz sales that suck, they do! We gotz drugs that blow the goat, we gotz drugs that make you bloat!
Now you know why we make online pharmacy and not contestant on American Idol, but I digress-ski...
Winter is over. Melt her ice with our best Vaigra pils ! Worry not if we can't spell worth a sh*t; hell, we're Russian and this English crap is not our borscht!
From the finest counterfeit pills that we could grind up, mix with baking soda, powdered sugar, and earth from around Chernobyl, we have make for you, the capitalist pig, our goodest brand of black market proscripted drugs, absolut-ly (see what we just did there, Comrade?) none of which we can spell, because we're Russians and if it ain't Cyrillic, we stupidski:
** Prospecia - 0.10$
** Conniva - 0.11$
** Lady Madonna - 0.12$
** Wethimself of Chris Matthews - 0.01$ (Depends not included)
** Leivtra - 1.89$
** Cailis - 1.74$
** Oscar Madison Anthony Weiners (endorsed by Sandra Fluke) - 0.19$
** Vagra - 0.65$
** Invitrovegemin - 0.64$
** Insomnia - 0.25$
** Ingrowd - 0.24$
** Inplant - 0.19$
** Outpatient - 0.018 and a third$
** Stain of Clinton - 0.01$ (not in big demand so much now)
** Zooloft - 1.18$
** Hayloft - 0.18$
** Earwax - 0.15$
** Eye of genital wart - 0.09$
** Tail of Nancy Pelosi - (we can't GIVE this sh*t away)
** Brain cell of AlGore - (ditto)
** Earl of Cloves - 0.07$
** Milk of Amnausea - 0.06$
** Bicarbonate of Sordid - 0.05$
** Bile of Zugspitz - 0.04$
** Root of Nose Hair - 0.03$
** Essence of Uranus - (see Tail of Nancy Pelosi, above)
And we gotz a lot more sh*t like that for our capitalist friends! Find us athttp://doctorfrankenRevolga.ru/ or look us up under NKVD in the outdated Red Pages (making comeback under RasPutin).
I didn't get any feedback from anyone, so it's obvious that Andrew Green still ain't talkin' to me...
Labels: editing scam emails for fun and annoyance, Jerry Lewis as Nutty Professor, scam online pharmacies, scam Russian online pharmacies