Thursday, February 28, 2013

Due Be Due

The look is obviously "I want an upgrade", but that's probably not what the duck is upset about.

Perhaps he read my latest edit.

I don't know if it upset Mrs. Patricia Mustafa or not; though I think I'm uninvited to the scamming I was expected to RSVP.

Another scammer thinks she's learned something about me.  More on that later.

Yes, the first scammer -- Mrs. Patricia Mustafa -- sent me one of those fancy Yahoo Invitation email formats, inviting me to contact her over $10.8 Million USD that sits in a bank in Burkina Faso, left by another one of those silly foreigners who are stupid enough to get on a plane in Burkina Faso, shortly before it fall down go BOOM.

If you believe their emails, so many of them do.

From an email entitled "Invitation:  With Due Consideration", I decided to mix a little bit of Frank Sinatra into the edit -- very little, beyond the title -- along with a play on Mrs. Mustafa's alleged job title, that of Bill & Remittance Exchange, Bank of Africa, Burkina Faso.

I took a quack at it and it went like this:

From Mrs. Patricia Mustafa,
Duck Butt & Bill and Exchange Manager,
Bank of Africa- (B.O.A)
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso


My dearest friend,


I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the Manager of Duck Butts & Bills and Exchange at the Fowl Remittance Department of Bank of Africa (BOA), in my department I discovered an abandoned pile of duck butts and bills that is unprecedented to be found laying around in the vault of a bank, here or anywhere.  Frankly, I do not know why such a pile of duck butts and bills would be here, but I guess that is why I have the job and title that I have.  When I applied, I thought I'd be working with money.  You just never f**king know, do you?
The thing is, we cannot release it to just ANYBODY; there are plenty of perverts here in Burkina Faso that would make perverse and voodooish use of duck butts and bills.  Ewwww. 
It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you because a nationality of my country can not apply or stand as the nest of kin -- see what I just did there?  haha, I funny -- since it would look very suspicious if I or one of my work colleagues walked out of the bank with a sh**load of duck butts and bills on our person.  I hope you understand just how suspicious this would look in a country like Burkina Faso.   Well okay, so it wouldn't look THAT suspicious, since we're all Third World flakes here.  Just f**king accept my premise and go with it, asshat.  
I will like you indicating your interest to help me in transferring all these molting and decaying duck butts and bills into your care, and I agree that 40% of whatever money can be gained from this unusual stash -- I think people in your country will buy anything if you think someone else will find value in it -- and I will keep 60%, since -- and you must grant me this -- I have the duck butts and bills, and you don't. 

I Hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I have Repose on you, because we have witch doctors here who would love to get this stash to make voodoo fetishes and sodomize the duck butts in weird tribal rituals.  I hope you understand the implications here. 

Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business I wish to give you will be executed upon you in the manure to which I am able to execute stuff.

Here is my Private email address: ( Please, reply me through this email address for security purpose.

I am waiting soonest to hear from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Patricia Mustafa.
Now I really didn't expect Mrs. P. Mustafa to closely read my email edit; or, if she did, probably not understand one ducking part of it.
But another scammer from before -- the alleged "legal office" of Jack Botha, Esq., and his odious secretary Sharon Brown -- apparently read the email edit, and came to a conclusion about me.  And widdit, they made a request:
it is plane to me that you are jobless.  Please,stop sending us more of these kind of emails.
Oh, but on the contrary my mugu friends of dubious antecedence and plunger intellect:  I have a job.  YOU.  Mwhahahahaha.  And I get paid much good, my job of YOU.  Would you like to hear more about it?
For now, apparently not.  But the year is still young and their email address still works...  

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Blogger Sandee said...

it is plane to me? Bwahahahahahahaha. United or Alaska Air? If you quit sending her these kinds of emails will she stop too? Probably not.

Have a terrific day. Seymour sends his best. ☺

28 February, 2013 08:42  
Blogger Right Truth said...

"it is plane to me that you are jobless."

That's interesting, especially coming from a scammer, ha.

Right Truth

01 March, 2013 07:46  

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