Friday, December 14, 2012

Scammers Past and Present

Proof that a scam has no effective shelf life.

Back in '08, a Muhamed Bello was attempting to scam me with the usual overseas inheritance fund nonsense.

As in previous scambaits, I was playing the role of Jerome "Curly" Howard, aka Curly of the Three Stooges.  The real Curly died in 1952, and I was playing him from his home since then, a cemetery in Los Angeles.

The tactic had freaked out a couple other scammers who were none to amused to find that they were communicating with the 'dead'. 

Anyway, Bello had just finished telling my character what was needed to proceed, and "Curly" had just responded back with his residential address (the street address and phone number to the cemetery), and there the matter rested, late in 2008.

See what I just did there?  Nyuk.

At least, there it rested until two weeks ago.

Here is a recap of the last exchange I – as "Curly" – and Bello had back in ‘08:

 
Dear Jerome,
Thanks for your kindness to me towards this transaction, I want you to assure me of your capability of handling this transfer with trust by giving me the following information about yourself:
1.Your name in Full:
2.Your House Address :
3.Your Occupation :
4.Your Age :
5.Your direct phone number
6)Your passport photo so that it can help me to locate you when the fund will be transfer into your account you are going to provide to the bank.
7)Are you assuring me that you will not sit on this fund when it hits into the account that you are going to provide to the bank???

I know that you will not disappoint me when this money enters your account, I have all my hope of life survival with my family in this transaction. We must hurry up with this transaction so that our bank and the government shall not claim and inherit this money because it has over-stayed.

After the bank have approve your application as next of kin to our late customer I will fly down your country for investment with my own share but I will advise you to keep this transaction as a top secret because no body again knows about it except you and I.
For more information you can contact me on phone (+226 78 78 46 16) so that we can talk.
Thanks,
Muhamed Bello.
 


How I had Jerome Curly Howard respond four years ago was thus:

 
Dear Bellow,
Kindness is a key ingredient in any interaction, in my book of afterlife.
Now, to answer your questions:
1. Jerome Curly Howard
2. 4334 Whittier Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90023
3. Deceased comedian, retired
4. 48
5. 1-213-235-2335
6. I'll send you my driver's license with photo.
7. Yes, you have my assurance I'll not sit on the funds once transferred.
I await your affirmation.




 Affirmation that never came...until a couple weeks ago, four years later. Here’s Bello’s gambit:
 
Dear Jerome Curly Howard,I am happy to inform you about my success in getting that fund Now transferred.
I thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account that time due to one reason or the other best known to you. But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the fund into my new partner's account in Vietnam, who was eventually, capable of assisting me in this great venture. Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness you showed during the course of the transaction. I am compensating you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $500 000.00 dollars.
Now contact MONEY GRAM AGENT IN BURKINA FASO, contact person is Dr.Williams Ahmed ask him to send you the total sum of $500,000.00 which I deposited in an account in with United Bank Of Africa (UBA) for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with him and pick up the total sum of $500.000.00 to send the amount to you.
Please, contact Dr.Williams Ahmed, to issue you the payment information text question and answer so that you can pick up the amount below email is his email address (
moneygram-wire@live.com) forward him your Telephone number and address so that he will be sure

 
Whether it is the same scammer writing four years later, trying to re-ignite an old scam, or another one making use of internet café sharing, I don’t know or care; I just decide to introduce the new entrant here – Dr. Williams Ahmed – to a dose of email editing, as my character from four years ago would have perhaps wanted it:
 
 
 
From:
muhamed bello <muhamed_bello020@yahoo.fr>To: Jerome C. Curly Howard deadcomedianburied@homeofpeace.com
Sent: Friday, November 16, 2012 12:44 PM
Subject: YOUR CONTACT GRAM

Dear Jerome Curly Howard
,

 
I am happy to inform you about my success in getting that fund Now transferred. Yeah, I know..it took me four f**king years to get it done. What the f**k, dude...I'm an uneducated doof mugu from a Third World country, okay?


I thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account that time due to one reason or the other best known to you. But I just learned by way of internet search that you are dead, and have been since 1952. This cause me great curiosity as to how you contact me four years ago, if this is so.


Of course, with technology like it is, having a WIFI retrofitted into your crypt is quite doable and affordable now, I must have to think this so. But...how do you type, if after 60 years, you weared your fingers to the bone?


Again, this is the most of curious to me, as I am sure it would be to you if you can answer this email four years later than when I last had speaks with you.   Am I making the sense here? Good. Now, to business.


I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the fund into my new partner's account in Vietnam; he's dead too, like you, though he bought it during a B-52 concert because he dove for cover and hit his head on one of the group's cast iron nut cup. So now you both are dead, and I feel a bit strange about this business, yes?

Anyway, I have put aside for you the sum of $500 000.00 dollars.

Now contact MONEY GRAM AGENT IN BURKINA FASO, contact person is Dr.Williams Ahmed ask him to send you the total sum of $500,000.00 which I deposited in an account in with United Bank Of Africa (UBA) for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. It would be best if you don't tell Dr. Williams Ahmed that you're dead; he's very superstitious, and might have a Tanzanian Rectal Cramp suddenly stricken him, which would make three of you in this deal dead, making me the only survivor. Maybe I could win next season's Survivor show, yes?

Please, contact Dr.Williams Ahmed, but do NOT tell him that you are dead okay? He wets himself easily, and a Tanzanian Rectal Cramp would surely do him in. Here is his email address (moneygram-wire@live.com) forward him your Telephone number and address so that he will be sure Regard,
Mr.Muhamed Bello



 
Ol’ Muhamed wouldn’t bother replying to any of this. But new Dr. Williams Ahmed did:

 
you dead stuff not real stop this stupid now or you not get mony gram.


 I couldn’t resist:

 
Dr. Williams Ahmed...you have made a terrible mistake: you have denied an actual astral bridging from the Third Astral Plane, to your Earthly level. You have denigrated the dead. You have blasphemized the afterlife.
You will be punished by all the aroused spirits of Darkness.
It is written...so shall it be, as the voodoo that we do so well is now a shadow to your every step, your every breath, your every last thought, action, deed. To you and yours, hereafter.
 
Perhaps...just perhaps...he wet himself:

 
stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
It is too late for you. It is done. The spirits of Darkness are your eternal shadow. Yeah buddy.

 
Perhaps one day, in another four years or so, Muhamed Bello will let me know if Dr. Williams Ahmed actually wet himself or not....

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3 Comments:

Blogger SueAnn Lommler said...

Ha!! And a Merry Christmas to you
Curly
Hugs
SueAnn

14 December, 2012 06:07  
Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahaha. He's a bit slow all the way around isn't he? Yes, he is.

Have a terrific day. My best to Seymour. :)

14 December, 2012 08:59  
Blogger Right Truth said...

Should have known the name would be "Mohamed".

Thank you for your kindness (while I screw you???)

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

14 December, 2012 10:16  

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