Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Spring in Colorado is...weird. But when it's truly "spring", it's easy to take.
Like today was (April 8): 70 degrees. Light breeze. Few, if any, clouds in the sky. After a visit to the gym (just to see if I could make myself vaporlock...nawp), I grabbed a glass of ice water, a good book, and parked my lilly-white carcass on the patio, to absorb a few rays and enjoy what, a couple weeks before, had been a winter wonderland.
After a few pages of desultory reading, the book started to gain some unexpected weight, as did my eyelids. So I put the book in my lap, tipped back, and allowed a nap to intervene.
Then "IT" went off: the local civil defense sirens, the nearest of which are on the south end of the apartment complex, and about 75 yards from where I had just gone from peaceful repose to a jack-knife position, scattering book and drink in one reflex.
After three minutes of getting every dog in earshot to join in the wailing, the system toned down.
And started up again.
There were no storm clouds on the horizon. Nor, as best as I could tell, had I suddenly time-warped back seventy years, so there was no ominous drone of approaching Heinkel 111s or JU 87s approaching to level the complex, or out-bound B-17s/B-24s, to return a favor.
Then I looked at my watch (the one thing that hadn't taken flight when I jack-knifed): 1104.
It was monthly test time. Only time the silly thing goes off around here is either for (a) monthly tests or (b) if an approaching severe thunderstorm spawns something of the "scatter stuff hither and yon" swirly design.
Which was confirmed a minute later, as a voice intoned over a multiplicity of undulating decibels, "This has been a test of the Lakewood Alert System".
After a moment, the dogs quieted down, and peace returned to the neighborhood. I retrieved my scattered essentials, made sure I hadn't put myself into a tractionable situation when I involuntarily reacted to the 1 billion decibel party favor, and returned to my restful repose once more, and started to imagine my soon-to-be-resumed storm chasing escapades by May's end, all of which, in my mind, will come to satisfactory conclusions.
And the damned thing went off again. At least this time, I only sprayed my just-taken gulp of water.
There was an irony to the book I had been reading -- At Dawn We Slept. The City of Lakewood had taken that luxury away, at least today. Guess they'd of been useful one December morning in '41, eh?


Blogger Jack K. said...


14 April, 2009 02:45  
Blogger Da Pixie said...

Hmmm.. why does this give me an eerie feeling about a certain fire alarm??? :)

14 April, 2009 06:39  
Blogger Debbie said...

Nothing like having your rest shattered by an alarm like that, but at least you know it works and would wake you if there truly was an emergency.

I too was awakened by a beep-beep-beep, book me a few minutes to register what the sounds was coming from. My big food freezer was defrosting. I think it's dying. I've had it for around 16 years, so I guess I've gotten my money out of it.

I put the controls on "quick freeze" to see if that setting would work, and so far - so good. I won't trust it though.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

14 April, 2009 07:33  
Blogger Sandee said...

I would have had to change my underwear I think. Just saying.

Have a serene rest of the day. :)

14 April, 2009 10:28  
Blogger Serena said...

Boy, am I glad we don't have those kinds of tests around here. I have no doubt I'd wet myself every time. I'm worse than those dogs when it comes to loud noises.:)

14 April, 2009 20:09  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

All: I'll get the pleasure of that test once a month, usually first week of the month, around 1100, every month between now and September. And in June, I'm getting my sorry butt kicked up to graveyard shift, which means the test will likely hit me in bed on July, August, and September...sleep robbers!!!!

14 April, 2009 20:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your deaf sibling says, "What sirens?" :-)

(too bad we can't trade hearing while you sleep...)

15 April, 2009 07:00  
Blogger Herb said...

It's retribution for all the times you make people spew liquids with your stories. Just sayin'.

15 April, 2009 17:59  
Blogger A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Our sirens get tested once a month, too. Nonetheless I forget this, every month. When they go off, my hair stands on end and I hit the deck. Then I crawl to my calendar and confirm: yep. It's the first Wednesday of the month.

17 April, 2009 12:21  

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