"Live LAP AID" -- IV

*Author's note: I dunno who the pictured group at the left is, but for the purposes of a pre-concert interview and "Live Lap Aid", they are Nose Picks*

Tony's enthusiasm almost knows no bounds at this point, but he seems to want the assurance that many a scammer wants -- a phone call:

Masato,

Please give me your full name and full contact address and also your contact phone number both mobile and tele.So that i can call you before and after the Concert. Bless you.

Tony

The Editor

So I'll just try to sound like the harried concert-arranger that I'm supposed to be right about now, without knowing what it's like to be a harried concert-arranger:

Tony,

Dude, this has to be quick for I am up to my proverbial ass in alligators here. All the little details involved in pulling this concert together are insane! But it'll be worth it, my man, for the end result!

My full name is Masato C(harles) Chan

My full address is 135 Townsend Street

San Francisco CA 94107

Don't bother trying to call me before Friday, Tony; I am running like a striped ass gazelle -- and I reckon you know how they run -- trying to get everything in line and ready: all the contracts signed, all the permits arranged, all the concessions, the power, the water, the sanitary, as well as the publicizing of this event as quickly as I can. By last count our promoter says he has 8 committed bands, and one stand-up comedian to do the intermissions. He also says -- but won't confirm just who yet -- that he might have at least one nationally-known name lined up to perform, though he has hinted that the person has big name recognition from his competition on American Idol!

Now if you want, send me your phone number, so I can call you after the concert and we have some of the preliminary numbers in from the proceeds.

Until then, time is tight, Tony...gotta run!

Masato

Tony is right back at me:

Masato,

Top of the great day to you in the great city of the great country where it all happens!!! Appreciate so much all your effort and conerns about the project!!!

Give kudos to your treemendous efforts and am much happy to read this email from you.Give the promoter praise as well.But much accolate to you because without you it wouldn't have been.

We also have put in place some awareness program in all media house like the TV, radio Station and distributing flyers and traits. I hope to read more good news from you as time count!!!!

You ca ring me on +234-8028470412.

Bless you more and more.

Tony

The Editor

La Creme Magazine

The magazine's almost had more name changes than AlGore has new realities.

To further along the illusion of the bands being lined up for this happening, I send Tony a transcript of a short 'one on one interview' I did with the lead guitarist of the band Nose Pick; his name, Synus "Big Boog" Dangler. Long as I'm going for maximum BS here, might as well share with you the transcript I sent to Tony:

Tony,

This is a draft copy of an interview I managed to fit in with the lead guitarist of one of the underground bands performing at "Live Lap Aid" on Friday. It is one of the up and coming local bands that hopes to cash in on the notoriety of playing at your benefit. Please feel free to run this interview in your next edition.

From Basements To The Bigtime: One on One with the lead guitarist of Nose Pick

By: Masato Chan, Editor

"Opportunity is fleeting, like a hummingbird in the wild. Grasp the nettles to gain the nectar, before the moment's, like, gone, man".

That's the attitude, if not as articulated, of today's interviewee, the lead guitarist of the self-styled "underground band" Nose Pick, Synus "Big Boog" Dangler. Here's what he had to say in this edition's "One on One":

MC: Welcome to this edition of One on One. What do you prefer to be called?

BB: Hey, whatever, man...it's only syllables.

MC: Okay, let's stick with your stage name. Big Boog, how did you come to settle on naming your band "Nose Pick"?

BB: Well man, it's like this, see...we all here, like, y'know, dig going against the flow of the Establishment. Kinda like, y'know, thumbin' our noses at the corporate Man, dig? So it seemed a good way to be and sing what we, like, rail against, dude.

MC: Makes good sense. So, what's the thrust of your musical genre? What seminal message subliminates your music?

BB: Wow, man, don't get heavy on me, dig? "Subliminates"? Man, we just wanna perform and do our tunes, man, for the like masses of the displaced and dissatisfied, cuz that's what being what we are is, y'know, like what we're about, man. We dig on the free spirits here in Haight-Ashbury; they're like doobage to the soul, dude. It's the mainline of our cultural experience, man, and a total flat-line groove that eases the soul, man.

MC: I think I got it...so what appeals to you about your upcoming appearance in "Live Lap Aid"?

BB: Dude, it's like totally cosmic, playin' to benefit Tony and his cause, man. What he's about is so totally rad, and like anything we can do to help out a fellow time traveller in this out-of-sync dimension, we are so into that groove, man. Rock on, Tony!

MC: Yes, Tony and his staff at Creme De La Creme Magazine are in awe of the support they're getting, when all they really wanted was a free laptop.

BB: Bogus, Tony, my man, bogus! We, like, are gonna rock you up so much more higher, dude! Rock on, Tony!

MC: Do you see your performance at this venue as a stepping stone to better opportunities and more national notoriety for Nose Pick?

BB: Man, like whatever. Like what that old Hollywood chick once sang, "case a rot, sur rot, what will be, man, will be". First, we groove to help our main man, Tony.

MC: Well, thank you for allowing me the time to pick your brain for this edition of One on One, Big Boog.

BB: Hey man, like, y'know, whatever.

And that's the gist of it, straight from the horse's proboscis. Big Boog of the band Nose Pick, about their upcoming appearance at "Live Lap Aid" on Friday, July 27, at the State Street Commons in Haight-Ashbury. Be a part of it!

Tony is agog in awe:

Masato,

This is lovely.It shall be taken note on and print out immediate for record.This is a great Improvement ad development if i may say. La Creme Magazine crew are given their kudos as well.Thanks so much ad hope to read more of this.

Tony

Editor

Finally, I send Tony this last email before "the Big Event" on Friday, July 27:

Tony,

Time is tight, and I have a million and one things to do before we start to rockin' on the State Street Commons in Haight-Ashbury, at "Live Lap Aid"! I won't have time to get back with you until after the concert is over, my man, but wanted to give you a status report:

- we are still negotiating with both PBS and NPR for video and audio feeds. If that doesn't work out, our promoter assures me he has alternative sources to take care of this.

- we are confirmed at 10 signed acts for the concert; our surprise entertainer, a still anonymous participant from American Idol, two seasons ago, is not yet signed. But the promoter is hopeful.

When it's all over, I'll get in touch with you, Tony.

Rock on!

Masato

Last up: "Live Lap Aid" -- V: The Big Event