April Fools Diplomacy
I must say that bearing in mind the criticism I'm about to levy here, I probably wouldn't be doing much better.
Dear (Both),
I have had occasion to do some international travelling in my time, and I was at one time seriously pondering a visit to your unusual country for the purpose of tourism.
However, in doing some research of your country, coupled with a steady diet of emails I have received from Burkina Fasoans of dubious antecedence and banking practices, I have some questions to put to you before making definitive plans to journey there.
See, these emails have been dispatched by numerous persons purporting to be "Director, Audits and Accounts, BOA". And the amounts of money they purport to need my help with, coupled with the number of deceased persons the accounts relate to, leave me wondering thus:
1. Do all rich visitors to Burkina Faso fall from the sky in aerodynamic dysfunctions? According to just two months' worth of such emails, more rich foreigners fall from Burkina Faso skies, than bad guys that were killed in all five of Dirty Harry's movies, combined. This seems very bad for your tourism industry, especially when one such emailer -- when I inquired about the hazards of a trip he recommended I make -- wrote back to me and said "Go ahead...make your flight".
2. What with all the hundreds upon hundreds of millions of USD that are alleged to be ensconced in BOA vaults in Burkina Faso, how come your country resembles Afghanistan, living standards-wise?
3. Does the BOA there in Burkina Faso handle so much business and personal investments that they need 250 different "Directors of Audit and Accounting", all at once? And with names as varied as Ali Ahmed to Butros Billy Zachmed Al Qziz?
4. How many revolutions have been had in Burkina Faso since, oh say, 1997? I keep hearing from relatives of assassinated royalty and political figures thereabouts, all needing my help to rescue their inheritances from being "seized by the State".
5. Is it true that the current US president has an authentic birth certificate, autographed Quran, and autographed t-shirt from Osama bin Laden, secured in a safety deposit box at the BOA Ouagadougou branch, available to me for a fee, like an emailer or two have claimed?
6. Are there really 4,000 Mariam Abachas living as refugees in and around the capital of Ouagadougou, all widows of deposed and decomposing Nigerian dictator General Sani Abacha? If so, small wonder the guy's dead, let alone who killed him, but I digress.
7. Do your brand of Muslims all wear exploding underwear, like some of them do in the Middle East?
8. Do your hotels really have flushing toilets and real toilet paper, and not papaya leafs?
9. Is there really an FBI branch office in Ouagadougou? I have been emailed by your field officer there that this is so. If so, do they have a photo of J. Edgar Hoover there, in a full length feather boa? Just asking.
10. Do I get a fitted crash helmet and parachute when flying into/out of Burkina Faso?
I would be most gratified to have these questions answered, before I plan to book travel to your unique little country, and schedule stops to sign all kinds of account tranfers for 250 different "Directors of Audit and Accounting" at how many ever branches of BOA there are in Burkina Faso.
And what do you think I got as a response?
* having no sense of humor, or any common sense, PETA never did reply to my veggie avenger or sea pussies letters...
5 Comments:
LMAO!!!! No answer? The shame!! What fun are those scammers? None!
You asked some good questions, however. Perhaps Obama, Obiden or Obitch would answer if you sent said questions to the zoo, I mean, the White House and Congress.
Ben Dover. Bwahahahahaha. You certainly have fun with these idiots I'll say that. Yes even Nobama and Hillery. You crack me up.
Have a terrific day. :)
Maybe Bank of America Faso was too busy mending the rift between Hill and Barack. Seems he doesn't want to use "global war on terror" any more. When she was asked to comment, she said the Administration's use of "overseas contingency operation" in terror's place "spoke for itself." Hmmm. Hmmm.
"...aerodynamic dysfunctions..." SWEET!!!!
Very interesting. I was hoping they would respond, wouldn't that be an interesting letter.
Maybe Barack would Bow to them, kiss their cheeks and make nice??? Like he did to the Saudi leader Abdullah???
Obama made an A$$ out of himself.
Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth
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