"Live LAP AID" -- III

The man of the hour: YERIMOH OMOSETOMEH EZEKIEL TONY, editor of CREME DE LA CREME MAGAZINE...or in a couple of emails, just CREAM MAGAZINE. Or Le Creme Magazine. Or Creme Magazine.

Whatever.

His quest for having some American mugu buy him a laptop is about to take a turn for the surreal. And so is "Live LapAid".

Using his photo as a centerpiece, and the information he provided, Masato Chan sent Tony an email describing to him a 'draft flyer' that will be displayed all over the Greater San Francisco area (not), advertising "Live LapAid", for Friday, July 27, from 12 noon to 5 pm.

We neocounter-cultures work fast, particularly when we don't have real counter-cultures mucking up the works with their brand of dysreality. And on that 'draft flyer', we list out the following acts and bands who have agreed to perform on behalf of Tony and his rag:

-Rage Against The Establishment Hamster (doing Spinning Wheel THIS, Bunghole!)

-Hung Daddy Dew Drop and the Wads (doing Porcelain Goddess Contain My Heaves)

-Meth Lab Bizarre (doing The Golden Gate Bridge Jump Song)

-Cockleburr Enema (doing Painful Rectal You)

-Nose Pick (doing the earthy Sticky Booger Boogey)

-Little Bo Byte Me (doing a variation of the Banana Boat Song, aka The Banana Whackin Song)

-Bobble Head and the Turds (doing Amazing Grace You're A Kinky Slut)

-Jimbo Morrison 'n Janet Joplan (doing We're Still Dead and You Suck Rocks)

-Flambe & The Flatulents (doing Phrapsody In Methane Phart I)

-William Shatner impersonator Jimmy T. (doing Lucy's Getting High On Door Knobs in a key hard to describe, let alone listen to)

-with a special guest appearance by veteran performer from American Idol, William Hung (thoroughly destroying his William Shatner impersonation of Lucy's Getting High On Door Knobs)

-And a special pre-concert crowd warm-up by a famous* improv comedian seen recently on HMO's Saturday Night at the Morgue, Nipplehaid.

Tony remains buoyant, but a bit circumspect about the entertainment line-up:

Masato,
I appreciate this great thing you do for me and my project.I do not know these bands before.Are they customery of what is counter-culture?You are sure they bring people to listen?You can do this soon?I appreciate receiving proceeds so I can move project forward.

I okay with your concert.I thank you again!!!!

A quick assurance to the lad:

Tony,
Chill, my man, be kewl. This is -- my promoter, Bury Flay, assures me -- the best possible cross-section of underground and counter-culture entertainment that is sure to bring out the bongs and pipes of Haight-Ashbury in droves. Absolute DROVES, dude.

We originally looked for an in-door venue, but we just couldn't find one that would work with the entertainment line-up we managed to scrape up. So we're holding this event outdoors, at the State Street Commons, in Haight-Ashbury, where many a famed street concert has rocked to the doobage, man!

And once the word on the street was out -- that you and your project were to be the recipients of our largess -- it sparked expedience, and it all fell into place! So in keeping with your expressed need for speed -- as well as to meet the cravings of so many of the concert goers -- we are ramped up and ready to rock this coming Friday! I'll send you pictures from "Live LapAid" as it happens for your magazine, Tony.

And by next Monday, I am assured by our CPA that 'll have a full accounting of what we managed to collect for you, less a few municipal fees and other expenses, and I'll get right on with getting it to you, my man!

Get ready for the magic carpet ride of a lifetime, Tony!
Masato

* er...famous maybe after this blog entry, but I doubt it...

Next up: "Live Lap Aid" -- IV