Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Nairobi Scambillies

Come an' lissen to a story
bout a dude named Sam,
with a lotta other names
cuz the turkey's on the lam
and then one day when he tried to score a hit,
he ran into a Skunk, and Sam was left in sh**...
Okay, so I won't quit my day job ;-)
The inept scammer(s) who tried to play Bob McCarty and ol' Skunk (see the past two posts here and here), is upset.
His imagined-elaborate scam of trying to dupe a wily blogger into buying non-existent crap with a political spin to it, went phfffft, when the wily blogger teamed with an ornery scambaiter, to make "Sam Ooko" look like he and his associates were covered in the what's represented in the cartoon above.

Of course, the name "Sam Ooko", originally given by the scammer(s), may not be his own. Or it may. In Scamland, the only truth is as fleeting as finding a flushing toilet, let alone someone there who knows what it's for.
Since his scam went the way of pet rocks*, ol' Sam has evolved a few extree personalities: he's become Nancy DeMille, an attorney of dubious credentials and worse teeth; John Smythe, a part-time meerkat inseminator by birth; and DamiLOLa Kayode, an imagined Sopranosesque cartoon character, who plays the heavy (poorly). My intelligence sources are working on acquiring photos of this collection of characters, and I'll post them when received and vetted.
With the demonstrated intellect of tree stumps -- I was going to say door knobs, but I need to use something contextual that Sam & Friends have a working knowledge of -- they are shaping up to be the Third World 419 version of The Beverly Hillbillies Meets Dumb 'n Dumber.
Late in '08, I think I've found my Stupidest Scammer of the Year finalist(s). Go back to March of '08, when I thought I'd found my winner then....but this one is surging in the polls (note: since these polls are not AP-based, they actually have some credibility to them).

As scammers who've resorted to threats before -- an imagined face-saving step before truly conceding defeat and disappearing into the cybervoid -- Sam/Nancy/John/DamiLOLa threw what I guess were their best shots.
I tried to prod them into one more *gasp* with this:

Is everything okay there? I mean, you're late this morning; no new empty threats or childish insults (second graders have better one-liners than these morons). I grew concerned that you had an accident at the meerkat insemination facility, and one clawed the crap out of your mug when you forgot why you were there or something. I mean, in all genuine insincerity, I wish you no ill, beyond raging dysentery. A little intestinal rinse is good for the soul, and we all know your souls are overdue. When it's done, may I suggest toilet paper? Yes, they really make that stuff. And it's so much more user-friendly than tree bark.
Now some personal messages:
"Sam": find another second job. You ain't good at this one.
Nancy: uh...your 24 hour deadline is 96 hours ago...a new clock may be in order.
John: how do you look at Nancy without vomiting? Oh, inseminate meerkats for a living...never mind. Dumb question on my part.
DamiLOLa: the posts stay up.

Have a splendiferous day.
Sadly, no reply from 'any' of them (aka, him).

*Sigh*... it was fun while it lasted. Any votes for this one as Stupidest Scammers of '08? Polls close December 30, 2008.

* with apologies to my pet rock, Seymour


Anonymous Anonymous said...

were did u get the stoopid idea u r funny? u r one stoopid fucking idiot!

06 November, 2008 08:49  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Ah HA, this must be one of my 'fans' from Nairobi! I see I may have to rethink my "intellect of a tree stump" analogy, as it appears a tree stump has you trumped.

And I don't want to be accused of discriminating against tree stumps ;)

06 November, 2008 09:42  
Blogger Herb said...

HAHAHA! Okay. You dropped the warning about eating or drinking anything that might become painful nasal projectiles while reading your posts, but now you will have to start warning about idiots who leave anonymous comments.

06 November, 2008 12:52  
Blogger Debbie said...

You're disappointed you sly fox you. It's the thrill of the chase that you love, not the final defeat, not bagging your prey.

When you defeat them, you must look for another scammer to bait. Then on with the chase.

"John: how do you look at Nancy without vomiting?" heh

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

06 November, 2008 13:34  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

Let 'em have it with both barrels!

07 November, 2008 15:59  

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