Pet Rock Delusions

*This was originally published in August 2005; another in the 'Seymour the pet rock' posts, for your amusement. Seymour is currently still residing on a farm in Ohio, but is expected home from his three years abroad and Ohio sojourn in March or May, 2009...and no, I'm not going to get him sushi, sake, or a geisha for his homecoming*

Seymour -- the precocious pet rock -- is a 'news junkie'. Parked atop one of my stereo speakers,
with a panoramic view of the TV (and an inexplicable ability to access the remote when I'm not home), he keeps up on current events. Sort of.

After my tweaking of the rock over the Persides Meteor Shower, he was seeking a counter 'gotcha', when I came home from work, thoroughly annoyed with Colorado geology.

On June 22, 2005, a rockslide closed US 6 in Clear Creek Canyon. The canyon is still closed (top two photos), and not projected to reopen until mid September, 2005. So my route to work is reduced to two options: I-70 westbound to optional exits 248 or 243; or the 'slow boat' route, CO 46 (Golden Gate Canyon Road), a winding, picturesque mountain road. The I-70 route takes, on a good day, 30 minutes; CO 46 on an average day takes 45.

There aren't many average days on CO 46.

On August 14, 2005, I-70 temporarily lost it's utility as an alternative: three sizeable rockslides came down on the highway just to the west of Idaho Springs, CO (bottom photo). While my needs didn't take me that far west, the traffic backups reversed flow right into my realm. While trying to get to work, I found myself in a 60 minute crawl to cover 2 miles (to my desired exit off I-70). Later in the day, the backups from the detour extended 14 miles.

Hearing me muttering about 'ill-mannered geology', Seymour was in his element. And there's no slapping the arrogant, 'gotcha' grin off a pet rock; trust me on that.

Today -- Tuesday -- as I prepare to head for work, I hear that I-70 west is shut down again: same reason, same area, same monumental traffic jams. That means CO 46. The 'slow boat' route. With a ton more traffic than normal.

*Sigh*

Seymour is beaming.

Anyone want a pet rock? I'll pay the shipping.