Vocabulary Building III -- Politickally Carwrecked

The last of three in the series. Yeah, I heard those sighs of relief.

At any rate, what had been a series of seven vocabulary builders for the paper back about 12 years or so ago, I condensed into three, so you're getting more than twice the verbiage value as heretofore. Or heretofive, six, or whatever your favored number. And just for fun, I've included a few more foreign words, just so I could have more creative liberty and irritate the snarf ouf the politically correct in the readership.

So wid no foitha adieu:

Contemporary:

- living or occurring at the same time

- a cantankerous, dissident rary

- a fill-in criminal for one whose on vacation, death row, temporary break-out, etc

Variable:

- flexible BS

- quite capable

- not constant

Berate:

- they would have, but for Goldilocks

- how 70% of Califorlornia public education high school students spelled 'Beirut' on their last geology exam, which was another problem but I digress

- to scold or rebuke

Collapse:

- more than one person forgot about it

- what 'Inevitable Hillary' and her campaign might be on the verge of

- fall down (go 'boom' is optional)

Derriere:

- milk cow flatulence

- brand of refrigerators that flopped in Quebec

- some sit on it; others try to think widdit

Flamboyant:

- showy

- a floatation device that keeps you warm 'til it burns up, then you sink

- gourmet meal made from insects

Pompous:

- a graduated circumstance...*ducking throwd items*

- skill required in cheerleading, especially in Texas where they take this stuff serious

- self-important

Nom de plume:

- French meaning "not that plume, le fool!"

- French meaning "his flatulence leaves a trail, no?"

- French meaning "pen name"

Non compos mentis:

- Latin meaning "not compost material"

- Latin meaning "not tonight, I have gas"

- Latin meaning "not of sound mind"

Bien entendu:

- French meaning "of course"

- French meaning "yes, I have been intending to get around to that eventually"

- French meaning "yes, I have no bananas"

Lagoon:

- a French thug

- a designer gown made in Paris

- a great place to find Mary Ann when she was able to ditch Gilligan

Migraine:

- a wheat farmer suffering post partem from the harvest

- debris from a shot-down MIG

- recurrent severe headache

Aequo animo:

- Latin meaning "with even mind"

- Latin meaning "sea horse"

- Latin meaning "I no see horse; what drugs you on?"

H'yar:

- Redneckspeak meaning "to hire"

- Redneckspeak meaning "looky, git yore backside ovah h'yar afore ah opens a can o' whupass on y'all.."

- Redneckspeak ta make the horse git'em up

Insider:

- someone averse to the outdoors

- a nice place to be when she consents

- being privy to a secret

Languor:

- Maine

- a lack of energy

- liquor with no umph

Homage:

- acknowledgement of respect

- grits in a collective sense

- a union of prostitutes

Politically correct:

- collision of two limos in a motorcade

- writing or saying things that offend no one, save for those offended by totally boring writings and sayings

- knowing your candidates are all full of sh**

Spectacle:

- what the optomotrist made of himself when he fell into the lens grinding machine

- miniscule fishing gear

- an attention-getting public display

Paralyze:

- psychoanalysis of a paratrooper

- to render powerless

- "no honey, your butt's not getting fat" and "I was working late at the office"

Halibut:

- one of Halle's best features

- for the

- salt water flat fish

Quark:

- of fate

- enunciation of a Bostonian mallard

- elementary particles believed to, in pairs, make up a hadron

Duct:

- to avoid doing something

- pipe or channel that conveys a substance

- getting pranked by a water fowl

Scramble:

- to shoo away a rogue bovine

- to mix up

- to pursue a thread of logic that's tied in knots

Pizzazz:

- the first failed effort in creating a pizza

- having the quality of being excited or attractive

- sound generated by peeing on an electric fence, followed by other sounds

Gingersnap:

- sick of hearing about how "wholesome" Mary Ann is from Gilligan, I guess, and...

- a subtle dig at someone

- thin, brittle ginger cookie

Cornudopia:

- a recepticle shaped like a bong

- an abundance of idiots

- a made-up word that really should be officially recognized

Bling-bling:

- sound of ricochets from a drive-by shooting

- expensive, gaudy jewelry favored by rap artists

- from the Godfather: "Youse disrepect me heah an' badda boom badda bling bling, fuhggedaboudit!"

Impeccable:

- tasteful

- stainless steel pellets substituted as bird seed

- a tree soliciting for a woodpecker

Innuendo:

- a really sick kind of bread dough

- an Italian suppository

- a disparaging remark

Idiomatic:

- a person's idiot mode operates without prompting

- characteristic of a particular language

- a badly-designed handgun

Now go forth and cruciverbalize with confidence that you'll turn heads and get lots of "WTF?"s from family, friends and colleagues. Or in my case, just laughed at.