Thursday, March 6, 2008

Vocabulary Building III -- Politickally Carwrecked


The last of three in the series. Yeah, I heard those sighs of relief.

At any rate, what had been a series of seven vocabulary builders for the paper back about 12 years or so ago, I condensed into three, so you're getting more than twice the verbiage value as heretofore. Or heretofive, six, or whatever your favored number. And just for fun, I've included a few more foreign words, just so I could have more creative liberty and irritate the snarf ouf the politically correct in the readership.
So wid no foitha adieu:
Contemporary:
- living or occurring at the same time
- a cantankerous, dissident rary
- a fill-in criminal for one whose on vacation, death row, temporary break-out, etc
Variable:
- flexible BS
- quite capable
- not constant
Berate:
- they would have, but for Goldilocks
- how 70% of Califorlornia public education high school students spelled 'Beirut' on their last geology exam, which was another problem but I digress
- to scold or rebuke
Collapse:
- more than one person forgot about it
- what 'Inevitable Hillary' and her campaign might be on the verge of
- fall down (go 'boom' is optional)
Derriere:
- milk cow flatulence
- brand of refrigerators that flopped in Quebec
- some sit on it; others try to think widdit
Flamboyant:
- showy
- a floatation device that keeps you warm 'til it burns up, then you sink
- gourmet meal made from insects
Pompous:
- a graduated circumstance...*ducking throwd items*
- skill required in cheerleading, especially in Texas where they take this stuff serious
- self-important

Nom de plume:
- French meaning "not that plume, le fool!"
- French meaning "his flatulence leaves a trail, no?"
- French meaning "pen name"
Non compos mentis:
- Latin meaning "not compost material"
- Latin meaning "not tonight, I have gas"
- Latin meaning "not of sound mind"
Bien entendu:
- French meaning "of course"
- French meaning "yes, I have been intending to get around to that eventually"
- French meaning "yes, I have no bananas"
Lagoon:
- a French thug
- a designer gown made in Paris
- a great place to find Mary Ann when she was able to ditch Gilligan
Migraine:
- a wheat farmer suffering post partem from the harvest
- debris from a shot-down MIG
- recurrent severe headache
Aequo animo:
- Latin meaning "with even mind"
- Latin meaning "sea horse"
- Latin meaning "I no see horse; what drugs you on?"
H'yar:
- Redneckspeak meaning "to hire"
- Redneckspeak meaning "looky, git yore backside ovah h'yar afore ah opens a can o' whupass on y'all.."
- Redneckspeak ta make the horse git'em up
Insider:
- someone averse to the outdoors
- a nice place to be when she consents
- being privy to a secret
Languor:
- Maine
- a lack of energy
- liquor with no umph
Homage:
- acknowledgement of respect
- grits in a collective sense
- a union of prostitutes
Politically correct:
- collision of two limos in a motorcade
- writing or saying things that offend no one, save for those offended by totally boring writings and sayings
- knowing your candidates are all full of sh**

Spectacle:
- what the optomotrist made of himself when he fell into the lens grinding machine
- miniscule fishing gear
- an attention-getting public display
Paralyze:
- psychoanalysis of a paratrooper
- to render powerless
- "no honey, your butt's not getting fat" and "I was working late at the office"
Halibut:
- one of Halle's best features
- for the
- salt water flat fish

Quark:
- of fate
- enunciation of a Bostonian mallard
- elementary particles believed to, in pairs, make up a hadron

Duct:
- to avoid doing something
- pipe or channel that conveys a substance
- getting pranked by a water fowl
Scramble:
- to shoo away a rogue bovine
- to mix up
- to pursue a thread of logic that's tied in knots
Pizzazz:
- the first failed effort in creating a pizza
- having the quality of being excited or attractive
- sound generated by peeing on an electric fence, followed by other sounds

Gingersnap:
- sick of hearing about how "wholesome" Mary Ann is from Gilligan, I guess, and...
- a subtle dig at someone
- thin, brittle ginger cookie
Cornudopia:
- a recepticle shaped like a bong
- an abundance of idiots
- a made-up word that really should be officially recognized
Bling-bling:
- sound of ricochets from a drive-by shooting
- expensive, gaudy jewelry favored by rap artists
- from the Godfather: "Youse disrepect me heah an' badda boom badda bling bling, fuhggedaboudit!"
Impeccable:
- tasteful
- stainless steel pellets substituted as bird seed
- a tree soliciting for a woodpecker

Innuendo:
- a really sick kind of bread dough
- an Italian suppository
- a disparaging remark
Idiomatic:
- a person's idiot mode operates without prompting
- characteristic of a particular language
- a badly-designed handgun
Now go forth and cruciverbalize with confidence that you'll turn heads and get lots of "WTF?"s from family, friends and colleagues. Or in my case, just laughed at.

7 Comments:

Blogger Stacy said...

Derriere. It's also where I live. I kid not...Derry Area. But come to think about it, there are a lot of milk cows around.

And 'thanks' for that special definition. ;)

06 March, 2008 09:31  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

I just love this stuff! Thanks for the giggles.:D

06 March, 2008 10:20  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

A shortened view of the dictionary. :)

07 March, 2008 16:51  
Blogger Herb said...

Good stuff, Maynard. Idiomatic must have been my setting when I tried to make sense of local politics.

09 March, 2008 06:35  
Blogger Virginia said...

As a word lover, I had to go back and read the other two entries. My favorite is still Paralyze- "no honey, your butt's not getting fat" and "I was working late at the office" Also, I am still laughing about the stuck pen picture - I wonder if the poster realized how it actually reads? or is that just the dirty minded amongst us?

Suburban Turmoil Blog Hopping Weekend...Virginia

09 March, 2008 17:17  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Stacy: since you brought it up, yer welcome ;)

Serena: my pleasure. I'll let you have the newly-done (aka, newly trashed woids) version IV before I run widdit for April.

LL: a shortened, slaughtered view of the dictionary, to be sure

Herb: I have idiomatic moments almost daily...sometimes, hourly...

Virginia: thanks for the visit and comments. I'll return the favor.

09 March, 2008 18:32  
Blogger Jack K. said...

The lesson to be learned from viewing the photo at the top: Pay attention and stay in school. LMAO, snerx.

12 March, 2008 19:31  

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