In Blogland, They MIGHT Hear You Scream

*Blogwriter's 1st note: that's not ME using that language; Blogwriter's 2nd note: this is a repost from '07, about a scammer that I toyed with to the point I hope he imploded*

And one of my ex-scammers is.

I have proof that in Blogland, they CAN hear you scream. Especially when (a) I'm the cause and (b) I publish it.

Perhaps some of you remember my good scamming friend*, Bruno Weka. Bruno and I had a short run of correspondence, until he told me in no uncertain terms that "I no like this joke" (see He No Like This Joke).

Well ever since then, I have used his name and email address with a goodly number of more recent scammers, along with making good use of the Houston information and phone number he tried to foist off on me. More than a few scammers have written and asked me -- after trying to call U. R. Phulovit on that phone number -- "why are you rude to me on phone?".

Boids of a feathah don't always flock so well togethah, it seems, especially when stepping on each others' assumed turf. Better still, when they're hepped in that by yours truly.

Now, many of these scammers use an email address until it no longer serves them a useful purpose, then they shut it down or just abandon it; it eventually fills up and starts rejecting further email messages. I have quite a few email addresses I recently culled from my scammer collection for this reason.

So far, that hadn't been the case with good ol' Bruno, though I expected it to, any day.

At any rate, I got yet another scam offer from Wilson Lamar, for an inheritance of some dead relative of his via Sierra Leone (no relation to the Italian spagetti western movie guru); I sent him off a quick, "shoo fly shoo" reply, which I also copied to good ol' Bruno:

Dear Hedy Lamar,

Or is that Hedley? Never mind...Harvey Korman got to it, first.

No, Hedy, I'm not the least bit surprised to hear from you. Bruno Weka (and his email address) advised me that you might be contacting me shortly, and asked that I cooperate not with you at all. He says you're a degenerate doorknob sucker of dubious antecedence and that you screw gophers.

So unless Bruno Weka advises me otherwise, I will not cooperate with you.

U. R. Phulovit 1-713-***-**** (the Houston phone number that Bruno tried to scam me with)

Perhaps I'd get feedback from Hedy...er...Hedley, or perhaps not. Meantime and instead, I got an unexpected bonus: this anguished and totally pissed off email from hisself, Bruno Weka:

WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN NOT TO LET ME BE....IT IS A CRIME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE....PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! STOP WITH ME!!!! I WARN YOU NEVER AGAIN!!!!

Do you detect a certain degree of upset hyar? I am sure that the soothing reply I sent him....wasn't:

Bruno:

Nope. You started it. I'm going to finish it, on my time and my terms. Your fellow scammers will not think much of you when I am done. Granted, they probably didn't think about you at all beforehand...but you made the choice to change all that. I'm just helping it along. Mwhahahahaha.

U. R. Phulovit

Within the hour, came yet another email scam letter, this one from Issa Mohammed (issa_mohammed004@yahoo.fr), offering to give me the business over some 'lost treasure' located in a South African bank ("X" marks the mugu). So just to show Bruno there were no hard feelings or anything akin, I chose to take a mild, conciliatory approach to involving him with Issa Mohammed:

Dear Youssa Mohammineggs,

I am soooooo sorry, but I cannot help you give me the business. You see, my business associate, Bruno Weka (his email addy inserted hyar) says he knows you, and knows you are a goat-poking, egg-sucking elephant butt, who molests hamsters and has illicit sex with flea-infested duckbilled platypi.

I watered that down so's not to offend you too much, because Bruno was much more brutal in his assessment of you, Youssa. He says he's travelling to your neck of the woods next month, and doubts you'll want to meet him, since he called you a skank-assed, yellow-striped, Islamic fundamentalist turd ball of dubious antecedence and camel drool.

Bottom line here, Youssa Mohammineggs, Bruno Weka says you're a really baaaaaaaaaad person, and I should have nothing to do with anyone as infidelish and lowlife as you.

Again, I cleaned that up from what he REALLY SAID. He doesn't like you much.

So I don't, neither. Neener neener boo-boo.

U. R. Phulovit

Of no surprise, I got no reply from Youssa Mohammineggs. But if I look waaaaaaaaaaaay off to the east-southeast, beyond the horizon and much of the 'Pond'...I think I can see steam rising from good ol' Bruno. This email supports that (cleaned up a little from it's original content):

U MOTHERF***ER I WARN YOU TO STOP!

I know, I know...sticks and stones. Eh:

Keep your mother off the streets, and I won't have that problem.

I can only hope that caused him to vaporlock***.

Whaddaya think, readers? Does Bruno deserve to have me "give him a break"?

To vote now, call 1-800-YesBrno for yes, cut him a break; to vote no, call 1-800-NoChanc.**

* I suspect I'm kidding hyar

** I really am kidding hyar....vote in comments if you wanna, but Gawd knows who you'll be calling on those made-up numbers...

*** it may have; his email went phfffft not long after this, and not another one in almost three years since.