Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Daliverunce Part VI


Mary full-of-Grace-n-other-thangs just couldn't let it go at having been made to look like the fool she thought I wuz:

Dr. Waldorf:

WELL,I DO NOT HAVE MUCH TO SAY THAN TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT A LAIR,I NEVER LIE TO YOU ALL THE DOCUMENT SENT TO YOU ARE NOT FAKE.

I AM A CHRISTIAN,I ASKED FOR HEOP, BUT IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO HELP ME,TELL ME SO I CAN LOOK FOR ANOTHER PERSON INSTED OF MAKING JEST OF ME AND MADE ME A LAUGHING MATTER IN THE BANK.

True to the scam to the end.

Dr. Waldorf's thought-to-be last hoooraah:

Hawhawhawhaw! Ma'am, yore shore full 'o that stuff we all shovel up ahind th' horse durin' purades. Hawhawhawhaw!

Yall ain't lyin', eh? Wahl, ah dun posted that thar dokument yall sent me on a Innernet website callt 419eaters.com, an' guess wha? Them fellers -- xpurts on crimnals, mugus an' othur lower-than-snake-spit persons of dubious antecedence an' worse body odor -- sez yore dokument is a flea markit kind. But ah gived it to 'em ta post, along wif yore pikture, yore name, email, an' yore lyin' cheatin' scam letter, so's more folks aroun' the world will know bout yall and what yall is tryin' ta pull. They also forwided yore scam stuff to their contacts at INTERPOL an' the Nigerian Embassy.

This awta git ta be sum fun, yall. Hope yall like prizun strips an' late nahts wif Bubba. Hawhawhawhaw!

Been fun makin' ya look like the mugu galoot yall wuz tryin' ta play me fer.

And that would be that, right? Wrong.

True to her word, Mary full-of-Grace-n-other-thangs did go lookin' for another person to hep her out in her time of needing to find a sucker to sucker. So she sent out the exact same start up letter (see Part I). To my blog site email address.

Took me five minutes to resume a typing position, when I saw it.

Granted, perhaps I should have -- under my new guise -- taken up where Dr. Waldorf Billybob Snarf did, at Part I, and replayed the whole thing again.

But it was time to move on to new endeavors, and new scam artists. So my written-to guise (currently baiting yet another scamster) did what has proven to be an effective, one-time response:

Greetings, you blithering bimbo!

Grace/Mary Kobe, lyin' cheatin' wench of dubious antecedence and poor communication skills, I know you! I just read all about you on a website, courtesy of one Dr. Waldorf Billybob Snarf! He's got your picture and your piss-poorly written scam letter posted, along with his hilarious (and barely readable) replies. And the best part -- God, I'm laughing hard enough to crap ostrich eggs -- was when he suckered you and your lawyer to try and cash a fake WU receipt! ROFLMAOPOE! What an absolutely stupid criminal mugu you are!

And now, of all the folks in the world you would write to, you write to ME, after I just read all about you and your criminal stupidity? It's hard for me not to be amused at your trying to pull my leg as vigorously as you tried pulling Snarf's, but in my case, the irony is even more amusement-erective! I have to hand it to you; it's a stroke of oxymoronic genius!

Thanks for the great laugh, you dithering doltish wench!

Jack N. Ewehoff

Hard to believe as it may be, Mary Full-of-grace-n-other-stuff Kobe didn't bother replying to that. Guess that's what I get for writing non-redneck legibly, eh?

5 Comments:

Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

Too funny. Where in the world did you get that picture?

08 February, 2006 19:57  
Blogger FTS said...

Ah, sweet justice. How apropos.

We might just have to hoist one in her dishoner when I arrive next month. ;)

09 February, 2006 11:30  
Blogger Monica said...

Hmm, I wonder how Seymour would have written that? Give him my love, will you? Oh and Jane, too, of course.

09 February, 2006 13:40  
Blogger Karen said...

"I'm laughing hard enough to pee ostrich eggs --" ME TOO!!

I think I need to check my junk mail to see if I happen to get an email from her. So much entertainment...

09 February, 2006 19:14  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

LMAO! Your spam is so much more fun than mine -- and you play it out with such finesse. It'll be interesting to see what turns up next.:)

12 August, 2008 19:24  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home