Daliverunce Part 5 Fangers

There's nothing like the unadulterated joy one finds in a happy famdamily photo, eh? And what compares to a carefully-crafted, fraudulent certificate of authenticity?

I am truly blessed to be the recipient of both in one right fine weekend, shore nuff.

Of course, as we go back over the previous correspondence from Mary full-of-Grace-n-other-stuff Kobe, we find that (a) she claimed to have three kids, 9, 6 and 4 (b) her spouse was a West African Brigadier General and (c) that he was kilt in a 'civil disturbance (war)'.

As for the certificate...

Not bad, for a cheap flea market knock-off.


At any rate, I didn't bother replying to Mrs. Kobe
after receiving these wonderfool photos and documents; me thinks a considerable change in tone and 'tude is coming, after she returns from visiting her Western Union galoots, brandishing a worthless WU receipt.

The weekend of blessings will be over.

Oh yeah:

DR. WALDORF:

ITIS SO DISHERTNING FOR YOU TO SEND ME A FAKE PAYMENT RECEPT, I WENT TO WESTERN UNION OFFICE WITH THE LAWYER, JUST TO DISOVER THAT NO TRANSACTION EXISTED. I WAS DIGRACED AT THE BANK THAT I CAME TO CLAIM PEOPLES MONEY, THEY WERE CALLING A FHEIR EVEN THE LAWYER WAS FILLED WITH SHAME FOR BRINGHING HIM TO BANK TO DISGRACE HIM.

(for the rest, imagine the monster-soothing theme from Young Frankenstein, playing in the background during this hyar note...)

YOU SEE MY DEAR WHY DID DO THIS TO ME, MAKING JEST OF ME IN THE PUBLIC.I HAVE NEVER STOLEN BEFORE, I AM A WIDOW SHASING THE MONEY MY LATE HUSBAND DEPOSITIED BEFORE HIS DEATH.

I NEVER EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU, I AM CONFUSED AT MOMENT, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME, IT IS UNFAIR, IF YOU HAVE NOT GOTTEN THE MONEY, YOU OUGHT HAVE TOLD ME THAT SENDING A FAKE PAYMENT RECEIPT TO ME.

I AM DISSAPOINED IN YOU.

MARY

Now all together.......awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Especially after you read the mean-spirited reply from Dr. Waldorf:

Ma'am: heck, ah know ah shold awta feel plum bad 'bout this hyar. But ah caint. See hyar: yall knowd you wuz jest funnin' me with this hyar storee. Yall ain't got no keys, an' no treasure hidin' out from them revenooers. Yore spouse ain't no late brigandeer genrul; yore famdamily pikture wuz also a fake.

But yore right, Ma'am: ah shold be sawry bout makin yall look stoopid. So ah do: ah'm plum sawry yall look so stoopid, ain't honest, an' yall spend yore days tryin ta sucker folks like me. As fer making yore lieyar look stoopid...*HUGE GUFFAW*...geeawd, ah live fer thangs like that. Ah hate lieyars. 'Specially goat smellin', egg suckin' dishonest ones like th' one yall got thar. Does mah hert good ta hear yall looked stoopid at Western Union an' the bank.

That, "my dear", wuz the ideer.

Guess ah won' be spectin' yore diplomat wif them thar keys now...too bad. Ah kinda hoped them keys wood fit in the startur of mah '47 Fawhd truck. Guess ah'll keep usin' th' balin' wihr thang ah use fer it.

Yall have a right fine day now, an' writ back, yhear?

She does ;-)