Tuesday, May 1, 2018

If You Really Don't Want To Know

Yoda saw this one coming...

Whoever helps the scammers set up their email templates probably needs a better understanding of the English language.

Especially when writing to someone like me.

Case in point:  a scammer starts their ploy with this email header:


What Has Kept You Waiting?  


They then go on with this nonsense:
Attention Please,      

We are surprised as you have not responded to our previous notification
concerning your: $650,000, United Nations has decided to compensate you as part
of the empowerment program to reinstate those who have lost money to scammers
in the past. To commence facilitating your transfer, kindly re-confirm the
following

1. Your Names.................................
2. Your Address...............................
3. Your Phone ................................
4. Your Age...................................
6. Copy of your ID............................
7. Your Country...............................

Waiting for your confirmation, remember further delay will result in
cancellation of your file as unclaimed and your fund will be diverted to
government treasury.

Please contact our email address so that we can be able to discuss with you, { ar952299@gmail.com }.

Bes regards,t

Mrs. Maria Lilley.  



"What has kept you waiting?"....even my pet rock, Seymour, heard the *TOING* that created.

Asked...and answered:



What has kept me waiting?  Lessee:

  1. Busy signal
  2. Internet down
  3. Bird strike
  4. A constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil
  5. My pencil
  6. Had to get a new pencil
  7. The store was out of pencils
  8. F**k
  9. #8 was a colorful metaphor, not pleasurable interlude
  10. Traffic
  11. Weather
  12. Religion
  13. Politics
  14. Time
  15. Space
  16. The continuum therewith
  17. No sugar tonight in my coffee
  18. No sugar tonight my tea
  19. No sugar to stand beside me
  20. No sugar to run with me
  21. Repeat 8

I could go on...do you need me to?  
 
 
The deafening silence that followed my character's response suggests that no...they don't need me or my character to go on.
 
One day, they'll figure out not to ask stuff like that of me.  Or my characters.
 

 


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2 Comments:

Blogger Cathy Kennedy said...

Skunkfeathers,

You do have such a witty sense of humor. I get spam emails all the time very similar to this and you're right it's flawed from the get-go even for the untrained eye such as mine. I enjoyed your response to the question posed. Did you actually reply to it with it? On occasion, I've been known to fill-in patient forms where it asks "Sex?" I pencil in "Y and in small letters write female" with the hopes of making someone's day a little lighter. :)

~Curious as a Cathy
Rock Country Roads #BoTB Showdown

02 May, 2018 05:14  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Cathy Kennedy, yes, I engage these idiots on a pretty regular basis. The ones I post here are the actual exchanges as they happened ;-) A very twisted hobby for 19 years, but it is what I do. Thanks for dropping by.

02 May, 2018 17:01  

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