Skunkfeathers: Seymour Gets The REAL Scoop

And Puffy Mueller's ready to implode.

'Cuz an "editing gone wild" pet rock got the REAL SCOOP on the questions that he wants to ask POTUS.

Not the made-up crap from the thoroughly discredited new York slimes.

Yes, my pet rock, Seymour, got the goods on the Muell.

And he's thinking a Pulitzer is right around the corner when he breaks this:

BREAKING GNUS (not easily done): WTFNS GETS THE REAL LIST OF QUESTIONS RUSSIAN BOT HUNTER ROBERT MUELLER WANTS TO ASK OF POTUS
By Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS

Dateline ("I lost my number...can I have yours?")

Recently, the panty pissers at cnn and pmsnbc thought they FINALLY had something to celebrate in their ongoing fake news pogrom against President Donald Trump.

The until-now secret list of questions that Special Counsel Robert Mueller wants to ask directly of The Donald.

Turns out that an April Fools joke, one month late, was still awaiting the twat waffled nincompoops of the new York slimes and their equally integrity-void friends at cnn/pmsnbc.

Instead of a "leaked" list of authentic questions, they got played...by a Liechtensteinian bot with a Chinese/Slavic accent.

Instead, in a true exclusive by WTFNS, the REAL questions that ol' Mule Face is dying to ask The Donald has been obtained, and is now being released for the FIRST AND ONLY TIME...depending on how many folks read, download and spread this more widely than Stormy Daniel's lap.

Here, for the FIRST TIME EVAH, is what The Muell wants to ask:

What is your knowledge of the fact that Melania Trump, your wife, is Russian?

What is your reaction to press accounts about the fact that Melania Trump, your wife, is Russian?

What did you think and what did you know regarding Fearless Leader's meetings on Jan 26-27 with Boris and Natasha regarding Moose and Squirrel?

What was the purpose of the meeting with the Roadrunner on Feb. 14 after the Homeland Security briefing indicated that the Coyote was after him?

What did you say to Fox News about cnn?
Why did you make Jim Acosta cry?

Have you ever used Wishbone's Russian dressing?

After using Wishbone's Russian dressing, when did you realize that it was Russian dressing?

When did you become aware of Hellary's opinion of James Comey prior to the election?

Did you tell your campaign manager to “throw a bucket of water on” Hellary?

Besides Melania, do you personally know any other Russian bots?

Have you ever allowed any of those Russian bots to pee on you at Trump Tower?

What was the purpose of the Jan. 27 dinner meeting you had with Kanye West?
Is Kanye West a Russian bot?
When did you realize that Kim Kardashian wasn't Russian?
When did you first learn that there are many Russians in Russia?
Did you think this odd? If not, why not?
Did you think that Stormy Daniels was Russian? When did you first realize that she was a money-grubbing porn star with doctored ta-tas?
Did you say to Stormy Daniels “who's your daddy?” in Russian?
Why did you laugh when Alec Baldwin got hosed in Team America World Police?
What was the purpose of making America great again?
What was the purpose of your calls to Dominos Pizza on March 30 and April 11?
Did you pay them in US dollars or Russian rubles?
What was the purpose of the September and October press statements, including tweets, regarding my looking like a Russian John Kerry? Also, Sarah Sanders statements regarding same?
What consideration and discussion did you have regarding the NFL draft?
What did you think and what did you know about the change in who'd be the next Colonel Sanders and that it might be disclosed?
What involvement did you have in what Melania wore during the French President's visit?
Why did you say that Angela Merkel looks like Yoda?

What did you know, and when did you know it, that Moscow is Russian?
During a 2013 trip to Russia, why did you give Vladimir Putin's wife an inflatable yak?
When did you learn that Russians convinced Hank Johnson that Guam was going to tip over?
What discussions did you have during the meeting with Putin? Did you learn then or later that he was Russian?
What discussions did you have during the campaign regarding Russian efforts to hack Hulu to obtain YouTube videos of The Gong Show?
Why did you win the election, forcing us to have to buy Hellary's book that never explains how she really lost?

During the campaign, what knowledge or information did you have regarding Russian contributions to the Clinton Crimepaign and her efforts to get them American uranium in return for them arranging babushkas for Bill?
What knowledge did you have of communication with or regarding Barney the Purple Dinosaur, Sponge Bob Squarepants, persons associated with either, and whether or not they were Russian?

What knowledge did you have during the Transition of an attempt by the Russians to obtain the Wayback Machine from Sherman and Mr. Peabody?

What knowledge do you have of a 2017 meeting in Seychelles regarding Caitlyn Jenner being Russian?
What knowledge do you have of a KFC eight piece bucket proposal provided to Michael Cohen by Church's Chicken in 2017?

Why do you laugh every time Maxine Waters fouls herself demanding that you be impeached?

Why does your continued existence make ugly people like Rosie O'Donnell and Kathie Griffin even uglier?

The DNC is demanding to know how WTFNS managed to get this list that even the DNC were denied. To quote myself..."Since you couldn't rig an election either, wouldn't YOU like to know? PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!"

Yes, Seymour is convinced that this post is his ticket to a Pulitzer. I think he'd best accept that all he can hope for is one of his own Seymour Awards...and hate mail from triggered millennials.