Seymour Edits A Royal...?

Something finally in the news that doesn't involve cnn shoving Stormy, Hogg and Waters in our faces.

The Queen of England, Elizabeth II, is stepping down.

My 28th cousin, twice removed, has had enough of official royalty.

What comes as no surprise to most, she is advocating for Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, to take her place.

My pet rock, Seymour, heard that and once again, one of those tell-tale *TOING*s resounded about the abode.

Donning his editing hat, it only gets worse from there:

Surprise and Not When Queen Elizabeth Names Her Successor

By Seymour PetRock/WTFNS
 

This just in: The longest-standing British monarch is preparing to take up senior mud wrestling.

Queen Elizabeth II, who turned 92 years old, issued a formal request for the Commonwealth Heads of Government, along with their attached backsides, to appoint her son, Prince Charles, as her successor and pronounce him the next Queen of England during an official meeting at Buckingham Palace.

Sources inside the Royal Family reported that Charles was not surprised by the announcement. He was rather nonplussed, however, by the title he was to assume.

QE II said, “It is my sincere wish that the Commonwealth will consider this matter in the manner in which I have offered it, and will decide that one day the Prince of Wales should carry on the important work started by my father in 1949 as Queen Elizabeth III.”

The monarch went on to say that she hopes the rather flustered heir will carry on as she herself has, adding, “By continuing to allow for societal norms and trends to change in an ever-changing world, I believe we will secure a a few more headlines for at least a few days, so as to knock David Hogg, Tide Pod eaters, and that artificially inflated tart Storm Daniels, off the front pages. This is, after all, a hope to all, possibly excepting the wankers at cnn.”

Prince Charles is the first in a suddenly shrinking list of heirs to the throne; the required change of title caught a number of heirs off palace guard, though did elicit a smirk from Kate Middleton, musing aloud “so will the Prince of Wales be Caitlyn Jennering to become Queen?”

The Duchess of Wales, Camilla, has not been forthcoming with any statement, having been quite unable to remove her jaw from the floor.

The balance of the Royals appear to be reacting very much as they did in the presence of a Prince Philip fart:

         Up to now, Queen Elizabeth hadn’t publicly backed her son as the next Commonwealth Queen…until now.

May the nyts be kind to you, Queen Elizabeth III.

At least you won't have to worry about which bathroom to use.  


I suspect that Seymour will not be getting any invites to the coronation.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"

That was worthy of Prince Philip.