Sunday, June 23, 2013

She Won't Be Complimenting The Season Any More

Esther Kwambe may get points -- from someone -- for persistence.

But those points I think just ran out on one of my email addresses.

Even after making fun of her email from here, and then having her respond to another scammer's email as if it was a response to hers -- again from this address -- might you think she'd figure out that this particular email address is a bit of a waste of time?

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

She sent me a third pitch for the same scam.  Here.

I wasn't about to disappoint her.

Well okay...so I did.  How much so you'll soon see.

Meantime...whaddaya do with a dingbat scamstress like this?  Well, here's what I dun:


Disclaimer:  the following email scam "offer" has been edited, and does not necessarily reflect the views, ethics, morays or other eels of the originator, her handlers, fly-infested internet cafe, or the International Union of Email Scammers 911, with offices in some pretty unspeakable places, unless you like to sit in wildebeest dung while typing one of these things up.  Void where public restrooms exist.  Results may vary.  For a good time contact someone OTHER than this email scammer.  Do not try this at home; use an unliked neighbor's, instead.
From: "estherkwambe11@zipmail.com.br" <estherkwambe11@zipmail.com.br>
To:
Sent: Wednesday, June 19, 2013 12:13 PM
Subject: Compliment of the season.

Compliment of the season.
Yes, dammit, that's what we're looking for here:  compliments of the season.
No, this isn't your run of the mill email scam; we're actually bloody looking for a good f**king compliment of the season.  If yours is selected, you'll win prizes that you haven't in your wildest imagination thought to win.
A few more drinks and you might have, but we digress.
Please if you are willing to put forth a 'compliment of the season' suggestion, indicate your interest in replying me through my private Email          ( kwambe_esther@yahoo.fr )


This message might come to you as a surprise. Damned if I know why; every season needs a compliment.  Seasons have feelings too, you unfeeling yutz.  Every season likes to be well regarded.  Well thought of.  And every season likes to hear it.
 
Well, I'm here to see that each season gets its due.  Or doo doo, depending on how this silly idea of a contest goes.  Personally, I wanted to tell you that I needed your help to liberate $10.5 million USD from a bank in the Netherlands; but my handler said that was too doctrinaire and unimaginative.
How the hell he expects me to dupe people with a contest to compliment a season....I hope he gets penile lordosis, whatever that is. 
At any rate...I am Miss. Esther Kwambe. the only Daughter Of Late Mr. And Mrs. Joseph Kwambe from Ivory Coast.  And no, dammit, we don't make soap there!  Geezus you people.
My Father was a serving director of the Vuvuzela Orchestra in Ivory Coast here during His days.  He met his end when he told the orchestra to play something -- ANYTHING -- in B flat. 
He didn't survive having 250 vuvulezas shoved up his ass sideways.
SO...here I am, soliciting from you 'compliments for the season'.  Here's how this silliness works:
1.  Tell me the season you're complimenting.  It can be something even a tree stump knows (summer, fall, winter, spring, football), or give me a season you want to compliment.
2.  Of course, the compliment for the season.
3.  And in 250 words or less -- please not to use ad libs, splint infinitives, colorful metaphors, or dangling particycles -- explain your choice and why no dolphins, spotted owls or designer door knobs were harmed during the making of your choice.
Really..I need your help with this sh*t because I thought I was here to sucker you out of money.  Really; what else do you think I'd be doing this crap for in the first place?  But no...my douchenozzle of a boss says I need to do this silly assed contest.
I'm having a voodoo doll made of his genital warts.
This is my reason for writing to you. And if by some miracle you win this contest, I am sure we can come up with something to award you with.  There are plenty of things here we'd love to give others and in so doing, be rid of.  Crotch crickets for one.
Please if you are willing to assist me indicate your interest in replying me through my private Email;( kwambe_esther@yahoo.fr )


I need your urgent responce in this issue,Am waiting to hear from You as soon as You read my massege.

Thanks and dubious regards.
Miss.Esther Kwambe.
with a vaginal vuvuzela that embarrasses me when I have vaginal gas

Three times I trashed her email.  Do you think the third time was a charm?  Read her reply:
F*K U MUGU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By jove, I do believe she's got it....

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

I can't get past the vaginal gas. I just can't. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. My best to Seymour. ☺

23 June, 2013 09:50  
Blogger Right Truth said...

"Really..I need your help with this sh*t because I thought I was here to sucker you out of money"

"with a vaginal vuvuzela that embarrasses me when I have vaginal gas"

I'm with Sandee on this one, you may have gone to far on that, you can tell by her reply, ha.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

24 June, 2013 10:34  

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