Awww, Poor Democwats

The lamestream news media chose to edit their time spent on the RNC this past week.

Which was probably fine with the RNC.  Less misreporting and misrepresentation by the lamestreamers is always a good thing.

But the lamestreamers were counting on having LOTS to report on the protests outside the RNC this past week.  Lots of angst-ridden protesters.  Lots of made-up sob stories.  Lots of violence that could be attributed to the police or Bush.

Lots of things to denigrate Republicans with.

And they didn't get it.

There was a story on Yahoo that came out about how the protests at the RNC this week just never got traction.  Well, I had a little extree fun with it, and put my own non-lamestream media 'spin' to it.  Scammers catch a break for the next few days, while I have some fun with the Left:

Protests Fade Like Farts In A Hurricane During GOP Convention
　
Three dozen scraggily anti-GOP protesters hit a lull of silence as they marched through a low-income neighborhood in west Tampa. "What do we think we’re doing?" shouted one protester to his cohorts, expressing frustration that "we’re being shown up by oversized vaginas!"

Shown up isn’t the right word for protests at the Republican National Convention in Tampa this week. They have been unexpectedly muted and even the protesters know it. pMsNBc propaganda had claimed that thousands of demonstrators would be there to disrupt the convention, but only a few dozen smelly, dirty, disheveled Occupiers, Greenies, and Code Pink vaginas showed up.

"It was Issac, damn him" mused one Occupy protester. "The threat of heavy rain, well, it was like having to take a shower, and having Nature return us to the bourgeois or something". Activists blame the threat of Hurricane Isaac, first and foremost, for dampening their plan to have thousands turn out in Tampa. "We’re so used to stinking", said one seriously contemplative Occupier, "that the mere idea of getting wet and even remotely clean, was so, like, totally just not like, you know, us".

The protester then asked if anyone have videoed him for a YouTube posting.

Some activists worry they have no momentum built for the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, N.C., next week, and then the anniversary of Occupy Wall Street next month.   But they'll have Cheese Nips.

"Unless you have the numbers out on the street, you really can't change anything," said one Occupier from an EPA site in New Jersey. Another protester said that "all the numbers are at the NFL preseason games, dammit".

The first protester denied knowing the second one.

The protesters were behind the eight ball even before the convention started. The threat of cleansing rain stopped at least 16 busloads of activists from coming to town.  It further didn't help that bus operators didn't want their equipment soiled by the slovenly Occupiers. Downpours on Monday put a damper on a kickoff march that drew only several dozen Code Pink vaginas, all of which kept tripping over their soggy, sagging parts. And rain continued off and on throughout the week, keeping Occupiers afraid of getting clean.

"Nobody came down because of this weather," said one protester, a 38-year-old welfare entitlee and professional unemployment recipient from New York, who is part of the Occupy Wall Street movement.  "I mean, we could have thrown feces and stuff all over us after it rained", the protester whined.  "We could have..I was ready", causing the interviewer to give ground rapidly.

And the well-turned-out police presence was also a damper for the eager "Chicago Values" protesters.  Groups of officers are stationed on almost every corner of downtown. They are riding around, drinking coffee and eating donuts...and being bored.

While many activists were forced admit that the police were restrained and polite -- they even shared their coffee and donuts -- they said the number of officers on the streets crimped their style.

"I'm really sad that every four years there is so many cops at these conventions," said a Green Party official. "It's not fair for our plans for flash mobs to rob and vandalize businesses here, to show how serious we are about what we believe in, which is more handouts and wealth redistribution via a brick through a store window. It’s all about Chicago Values, and it’s obvious that Tampa doesn’t have them yet, dammit".

The lamestream media failed to prop up the protesters to be heard. Few people would give the media the time of day, so they spent most of their time in bars and massage parlors, leaving the streets nearly empty and the protesters ignored.

"We could protest until we're blue in the face but there weren't people around who gave a crap" said a 35-year-old organic pot grower from New York who is part of Occupy Chick-Fil-A.

On Thursday, 16 protesters, watched by 35 officers, marched from their temporary EPA Super Fund site to Domino's Pizza to protest corporate-owned businesses. Not one person paid them any mind, and not one TV camera bothered to record them for YouTube.  No one would even give them free pizza that they felt entitled to.

Most discouraging.

Many EPA Superfund Site residents are relocating their impromptu bio-hazard community to Charlotte and the Democratic convention. They are hoping for bigger crowds and more energy, drawing on Occupy activists and freebie seekers from cities along the Eastern seaboard.

"Who knows?" said one protester, "maybe we can disrupt the Democrats. We gotta disrupt something, otherwise, what are we good for?" The protester then checked his cell phone to see if his welfare payment had been posted to his account, and headed for a nearby liquor store.

Next up:  a circular for the DNC in Charlotte that my pet rock, Seymour, found for me to 'edit' to make it more factually accurate, even if libs loathe accuracy in a factual sense....