The Photo Sez More Than The Ploy

Apparently, scammers listen to, and read, liberal media outlets.

More than one of which have suggested, at different times, that men and women of our US Military are not the brightest bulbs in the box.  Some libtards come right out and claim that people in the military aren't that bright.

John Kerry gaffed with a comment like that in his '04 campaign, and the military in a war zone was quick to mock him for it.  But I digress.

Anyway, another scammer has taken the 'guise' of a US military service person overseas.  And as you read the simple email he sent me, you can tell it's a scammer (or a dumbed-down public education liberal) with comparative ease:

I am Capt.Greg .klem. of the US amry presently in Afghanistan for peace keep mission. I need your assistant to evacuate $15,200,000.00 to you for safe keep as long as i am assured that this funds will be safe in your care till i complete my service here in Afghanistan. It is not a stolen money and there is no risk involve. Please Get Back to me soonest for detail on: gregklem12@yahoo.com

Putting aside my revulsion for any puke who impersonates one of our very fine and very capable members of the US Military, I had me some fun with the email rewrite that went back to 'greg klem' and a few dozen of his liberally-educated ilk:

From: "Rossen, Roger D" <rrossen@bcm.edu>
To: "Gregklem@us.mil.org" <Gregklem@us.mil.org>
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 6:34 PM
Subject: RE

I am Greg .klem. of the obama re-erection campain presently in Afghanistan for campain fund rising mission. I need your assistant and all help i can get to evacuate $15,200,000.00 to obama campain because...i not sure why.  i sure when i start to wrote you this even tho', being liberdull i has 10 grade edjakated level and that 2 tuff for me to get job in 7-11 store where i can steal slurpy all day all time. 

what i wroted you for?   oh...i renumber now.  hurry to your nayboorhood Toy yoda deeler for crash back redate on any car you wreck with a test dive of Force.

no, that not it.  WTF?  oh...yes, i have chicago values.  that y i splash mob with manatees for anal sex at lake michigan later.  that what i thinked this tweat sez on my eyepad.  wish i lurn to read like Joe Bidumb.  he gots gud englandspeeks.

we have all the lastest generic 'get it up for Sandra Fluke cuz you need a pill to get it up for her' meds you need and at half price because we are an oversees farmacy that dyes aspirin and calls it Viera.  Contrack us now for free goat on our priceless.

I am get through to you, yes?  operator will you helped me make this call?

i thinked there wuz moor to this about for safe keep as long as i am assured that this funds will be safe in your care till i complete my fund rising here in Afghanistan. this is sucked ass place here.  goats are gooder looked than the pashtuns.  i not know what a pashtun is until i get sodomize by one with camel vagina breathed.  ickky.

why does is my text here say It is not a stolen money and there is no risk involve?  Please to Get Back at me for details on what the phucked i wroted here to telled you: gregklem12@yahoo.com

ps:  roger rossen over, who ared you and y r u in my emailed?

It was a fun time not had by all, as this 'reply' to my 'edit' suggests:

that not my letter u asshole.

It is now.

Perhaps that made him so mad, he pulled the pin on a granola and blowd up his otto pilot...he'd have to writed back to fell me.

And then -- after he apparently discovered that a pinless granola doesn't blow up -- he did write me back, professing disappointment in me and more yada, yada, yada:

Honestly iam just dissapointed at your behaviour because you know that i am a man of God and cannot deceive you. just pay the $50 and leave me and my God because God is watching me if i am telling you lies.

I know it is because of your past exprience that make you not to believe me but i told you before my God who is my withness that i cannot deceive you because my bible says what shall it profit a man to gain material things and loose your soul. i told you ealier just drop your old exprience and follow my intruction a man of God and you will know what it means to follow somebody that fear God.

I swear to God almight Father. if i fail to start sending you your daily payment of $5000.00 wthin 28hours after you send the $50 as i promise let God Take my life, i cannot fail you,i promise you. dont fear as soon as you sent the $50 today please leave the rest to me and see if i am lie to you or not because i can not use my life swear because of $50.

What "$50"?  Did you see anything in his original email about me paying him $50, or him being a 'man of God'?  Me thinks my scammer is multi-scamming, and cornfusing his intended vics with his open scams:

Ah, so you're a man of God who just needs $50?  Oh hell, that changes everything.  Tell you what...I'll talk to God.  If He tells me to trust you and send you 50 bucks, then by God -- blasphemous pun intended -- you can count on me sending you 50 bucks.

I waited a couple hours, then sent him this:

Well what do you know:  God told me to send you 50 bucks.  So I will.  Give me a little time to organize this.

My multiscamtasker was ecstatic:

bles you i know you are man of God.  Please to send me soonest by the instucton i gived you before.  you wont be sorry.

I knew I wouldn't be.  So I got me a photo (see below), attached it 25 times to an email to him, and waited:

The wait wasn't long:

why do you jest me like this???

Because God told me to.

It was destined for a happy ending.  Sorta:

f**k you.  you not man God  you curse on you.

Hey, you asked for 50 bucks.  God -- via me and the internet -- provided. 

Apparently, I'm off another Christmas card list.  In this case, probably more than one...