The 'Writes' Of Scammer

Perhaps the scammer that started this is now, at this minute, emulating the animated graphic to the right.

If so, my apology to the wall, tree, pole, whatever, this scammer is using.

A lot of scammers start their scams from templates that are pretty intelligently written.  Once taken off a template, however, they tend to reveal their lack of, or limited knowledge, of English especially in written form.

But a good number -- I reckon them to be free-lancers -- don't have access to a starting template.  So they take whatever they might have, and 'wing' it.

Such was the case of one of my recent scammers, as the opening paragraph here will suggest; it came titled In Need Of Assistants:

i hope these e-mail get's to you in good state of health, my names is Mrs. Effat Moghaddam Waworundeng, i'm women who was married to Late Mr.F.JOLE Waworundeng from indonesa of blessed memory who was an oil explorter in Kuwait and Comodoro Rivadavia , a city in the Patagonian province of Chubut in southern Argentine for twelve years before he died in the year 21 Apr 2010,Pampanga, Phillipines Interiland Airline,Antonov An-12BP UP-AN216.
If this is from a template, it's from a very bad one.  The whole letter was seven paragraphs in length, and all pretty much like this.

*TOING*

So my edit simply built upon that which was already provided herein; I just made the scammer sound even more grammatically inept:

Subject: IN NEED OF SOMETHING

Greetings to you, Komodo Lips,
i hope these e-mail get's to you in whatever state you're in.  and pleased not to pay much attentions to how badly i write, because i is pretty stupid as you can sees here.  my names is Mrs. Effat Moghaddam Waworundeng, i'm women who was formerly a mans until I not reply to email from Prem MP, and my penis fell off, so i goes to clinics to become womens where they makes me a vagina out of playdoh and bondo.

 

you can reads about it at Pampanga, Philippines Interisland Airlines,Antonov An-12BP UP-AN216.

i still not yet have child because i cant not get my vagina to work  i think i got a faulty one and now i want sue someone for my faulty vagina but i not knows whose to sue or how to sues them.  should i sues everones named sues?  this is news to me and i never watched news before.  it like me discover toilet paper for first times in 2011 but i not yet find out what it makes for.  is it fors writing on? 

 

i asks friend with print press to make moneys out of it and he does this before roving band of Moro hamsters come through village and eat his penis.  he run off in jungle never to be able to sodomize his goat Ethel once more.  it sad.

 

anyways, he leave behind with me heres a bunches of moneys he make on toilet papers.  i think moneys worth USD 90,000,000 (Ninety Million U.S Dollars).  it still on rolls it print on.

 

Recently my doctor telled me that creamed corns is bad for anal polyps, so i stops eating anal polyps.  anal polyps grows like weeds, depending on the area of infestation caused by the wide spread of the anal polyps i have in my anal which i dont not know because i not look there for my missing keys since i looked everplaces else.  i think my penis might be lodge in there when it fells off but i not finds it.

 

i don't need any telephone communication in this regard because i dont have gots telephone communications with no ones since Moro hamsters eat the lines too.  i know how send smoke signals yes?  you read smoke signals yes?  if you says no, f**k you, i cant not communicate with yous since my smoke signals yes are in Azerbijani.

 

i want you to always prays for me to get phone back because i dont not knows Azerbijani not eithers.

please contact someones with ability to reads this massage sos it possible that someone make senses of what i writed here because as this massage goes on i cant not remembers how it was what i wished i might get sayed here, and i knowed once time that somethings i sayed here was meant to mean somethings sayed of some kinds of value i thinks.

 

my artificials vagina will rest squarely on your shoulders.  i hopes this dont not gross you much out.

you replies to assist me, yes?  if no then f**ks you.

remark: pleased if you do reply me with your informations to the following email:

 

effatwaworundeng@aol.com

remains wary of moro hamsters bearing telephone parts,

Mrs. Effat Moghaddam Waworundeng, formerly Mr. Wang Duk Fat Soong Dung

Email: effatwaworundeng@aol.com

The scammer -- perhaps NOT a free-lancer, perhaps with handlers about as dumb as him/her/it -- didn't take kindly to my edit:

 

to who you are.  this is not funy.  my male is real and you make jest of me.  my atorney say i can have legal act to stop you do this.  do you understand me ok?

Oh, indeed I do, my ignorant litigious one:

LMBFAO....am I to understand that you are threatening to take me to court over your scam letter, and what liberties I took with it?  Have your aturkey email me his/her/its legal precedence from which he/she/it is preparing a brief from, whereupon and in so far as your aturkey prepares a tort, I shall have a retort adjudicatible in any litigious venue prepared for expedient jurisimprudence on the part of your aturkey, forthwith and theretofore upon timely submission thereof, therebyfromwhich a writ of habeas corpus christie may be ruled upon not withstanding prima ribbie media rare.

I guess that response was more than his/her/its 'atorney' was prepared to prepare a 'brief' on.  Unless a supeona is on the way?  ;-)