Mebbe the DoJ Will Hep

What does an email scammer, the FBI, a faux Asian, and the Department of Justice have in common?

All depends on how it's being misconscrewed, I reckon.

It all starts with the following email scam I just received:

 A personal Attorney to our late client Mr. TAN SRI LIM GOH TONG who built a hilltop casino in Malaysia. before he died, he made a Will in our law firm stating that $3 Million should be donated to any Philanthropist of our choice outside Malaysia{Overseas.}

I am particularly interested in securing this money from the Bank, because they have issued a notice instructing us to produce the beneficiary of this Will, You are required to contact me immediately to start the process of transferring this money to any of your designated official account.
Please contact me urgently. Email: yousfmustafa497@yahoo.com.hk

Of course, Yousef Mustafa doesn't sound Asian.  Or perhaps it does in a revisionist geography class being taught at the DoJ these days.  They're teaching revisionist voter eligibility too, I hear.

Eh.

Anyway, I edited the scammer's original email -- with Asian enhancements, since it was Malaysian-oriented, with Turkish highlights -- and made sure that I sent a copy of the edit to the DoJ's email address for racial profiling complaints against Arizona:

From: MUSTAFA YOUSF
To:
Sent: Tuesday, July 3, 2012 12:18 PM
Subject: Assistance offer
Herro,

I craim to be a personar Atturkey to our rate crient Mr. TAN SRI RIM GOH TONG who buirt a hirrtop casino with frushing toirets in Maraysia. He then tried to cross-use one for a whirrpoor and got stuck in the suction.  He not very bright, but I digress-san.

Before he drown, he promise our raw firm $3,000,000 be donated to me.

I am particurarry interested in securing this money from Bank, because they -- the Bank -- don't berieve me when I say to them, "he reft me this money!".  So I need you to pray the beneficerary person of the first part and I pray the beneficerary of the second part, and between the two of us, one of us get the money, and one of us get screwed. 

Bet you can't guess what part you get to pray. Haha-san.

You are required to contact me immediatery to start the process of transferring this money to any of your designated officiar account. Prease don't catch on to fact-san that this money rearry don't exist, it just way for me to get you to send me regal fees to execute transfer of non-existent money, and have me raugh arr the way to bank with your money. Haha-san.

Prease contact me urgentry. Emair: yousfmustafa497@yahoo.com.hk

Prease not to pay attention what I write next; it is foreign gibberish. Porish, I think:

Bu mesaj ve onunla iletilen tum ekler gonderildigi kisi ya da kuruma ozel, gizlilik yukumlulugu tasiyor olabilir. Bu mesaj, hicbir sekilde, herhangi bir amac icin cogaltilamaz, yayinlanamaz ve para karsiligi satilamaz; mesajin yetkili alicisi veya alicisina iletmekten sorumlu kisi degilseniz, mesaj icerigini ya da eklerini kopyalamayiniz, yayinlamayiniz, baska kisilere yonlendirmeyiniz ve mesaji gonderen kisiyi derhal uyararak bu mesaji siliniz. Bu mesajin bilinen viruslere karsi kontrolleri yapilmistir. ISTANBUL UNIVERSITESI

This message (including any attachments) is intended onry for the use of anyone it gets to, so rong as you repry to me. If you don't you are prick. I was gonna write plick, but I can't type or pronounce "L", even if I just did-san. This emair contain information that is non-pubric, proprietary, privireged, confidentiar, and exempt from disclosure under appricable raw or may constitute as attorney work product. Or none of that rast sentence appries. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you just became the intended recipient, because I need to scam money outta someone, and it may as werr be you as anyone. If you have received this communication in error, prease respond to it anyway. ISTANBUR UNIVERSITY has no friggin' idea that I use them to try to scam others. Don't tell them, prease. http://www.istanbul.edu.tr/ 

Not sure what I'll get first:  an aggrieved response from the scammer, or a *knock* on my door ;-)