Politics Anyone?

2012 does seem unavoidable, doesn't it?

If November 2012 doesn't get us, the Mayan calendar's end, just might.

Iowa recently held a GOP presidential candidate straw poll, one of the first tottering steps toward Decision 2012. Iowa's a good place to do that: they cultivate straw aplenty.

What we learned from that first, very VERY preliminary straw vote, was that it's hard to read straw ballots, and that guinea pigs like to use straw to nest and poop in.

We also learned that at least one politician decided, on the basis of the straw poll, to pick up his campaign bumper stickers and go back to Minnesota.

Despite my pet rock's current time travel travails, Seymour wished to text me his thoughts on the current political cycle that's started the long pull up a longer hill, before the downhill race to Decision 2012. Being as how Seymour is politically unaffiliated and unbiasedly geologic -- whatever THAT means -- he feels he has some genuine insights into the current field of candidates, and wants to share them, even from his current juxtaposition in Time.

With no further adieu -- a french word that Seymour hates:

Michelle Bachmann: she won the Iowa straw poll. Maybe she'll find a place for it in her home office, though if she has cats, they'll wreck it. She's a nice lady, but in the words knowd world over from countless failed dates, "not this election cycle, she has a headache". Old stick-in-the-mud Republicans aren't ready for a hot chick to run their party.

Seymour, you're going to be accused of sexism with that analogy.

Oh phffffffft. Michelle's a chick, and a hot one at that. Now, on to my further analysis...

Mitt Romney: who wants to elect a guy named for a glove? Republicans didn't pick him in '08; why would they now? PUH-leease!

Newt Gingrich: the Geico gecko is one thing, but a politician named for another lizard that usually winds up in various blackmagic spells isn't gonna get elected. Especially when he verbally self destructs the same weekend he announces his candidacy. *BUZZZZZER*

Tim Pawlenty: *BUZZZZZER* Lost to the hot chick. Smart enough to quit thereafter. 'Nuff said.

Ron Paul: The guy with two first names came in second, but really? He's got a better chance of being elected to Congress from Texas...*TOING*

Howard Cain: successful businessman and one of those minorities that the Left says is a race traitor. I thought the Left was supposed to be all about compassion and tolerance? Oh well...I guess they only are when the minorities know that their place is supposed to be beholden to the Left, and not agin' it. Won't get the nomination, but will annoy the Left by not being a flunky to them.

John Huntsman: who??? That seems to be the universal response outside of Utah.

Sarah Palin: her bus tour was there, but she ain't in. Prolly ain't gonna be: life's more fun and lucrative being a force on the Right, rather than a target of the Left (and of some of the establishment on the Right that don't like hot chicks in politics).

Rick Santorum: he sounds more like a mental health facility ad, than a serious presidential candidate.

Rick Perry: a Texican governor. This guy -- perhaps coupled with the hot chick as his running mate -- might just look to be a force to be reckoned with. The 'glove' will not likely be able to get the nomination now that this particular Texican is in.

Me (as in Seymour): I was gonna run, but Skunk's got me mired in time travel, and it's kinda hard to keep up with what's going on in 2011, when I'm stuck 65 million years in the past.

And what about Seymour's unique view of the incumbent in 2012:

Barack Obama: been voting 'present' since first elected to anything. Guy sure loves to play golf and spend other peoples' money. Funny how he gets a Nobel Peace Prize for having done nothing, and nothing bad during his watch is his fault, according to him and that Ploofe fella who rhymes with 'goof' and that makes things up for the prez. Against the 'glove', the lizard, a couple of "who?"s and the Texican that has a better chance of being elected to Congress..*TOING*...he could probably be a two-term prez, despite himself. Against the other Texican and hot chick...maybe not...*click*.

As I was about to ask Seymour to amplify on that prediction, his cell connection through the Time Portal went phfffft. Seymour's political observations and commentary developing, pending a cell phone recharge, and time warps.