Sunday, May 18, 2008

Vocabulary Builder -- X


Yawp...before 'divine intervention' or the official storm chase season in Colorado could commence, I come up with VB 10.

Sorry 'bout that.

At the behest of a one of the few readers here, I am mixing into the maelstrom a few meteorological terms, that may become germaine for me in three or so weeks, as I'm in pursuit of my quarry. Or, running like a striped ass gazelle from one:
Graph:
- the sound one makes when throwing up
- a diagram showing the relation between variables
- one of those long-necked, gangly-legged critters in zoos
Equinox:
- needs a higher octane
- a horse you didn't see at the Kentucky Derby
- time/date the Sun crosses the celestial Equator
Curtana:
- a drapery
- unpointed sword used as an emblem of mercy during a coronation
- just Ana, in her bitch mode
Gorkus:
- a city in Russia
- cry of the aviary Red Butted Gork Warbler
- the 13th astrological sign, signified by two buzzards colliding in mid-air
Braw:
- Redneck meaning "braw, nuts!"
- Redneck meaning "one a them female parts containin' thangs"
- fine or good
Element:
- explaining Ele
- component as part of a group
- a big mammal with floppy ears
Cumulonumbnuts:
- formation of storm clouds
- formation of storm clowns
- formation of storm clods
Cusp:
- an old...
- swearing with a lisp
- an apex or peak
Frustration:
- being a three-peckered goat in a ewe convent *ducking boos and throwd items*
- a regulated dollop of frust
- rust build-up on an underused tallywacker
Epiphany:
- a profound butt
- manifestation of a god or demigod
- Smee always confused it with 'apostrophe'
Gorgon:
- leads the choir at the Church of AlGore's Save The Earth Scam
- US state on the West Coast
- one of three snake-haired sisters who turn anyone who looks at them to stone, creating the first attempt at Viagra (with unforeseen sideaffects) in ancient Greece
Incumbent:
- required
- crooked sperm
- what the IRS does to your annual income
Divot:
- to color your vot
- a piece of turf
- a collection of divas
Mesocyclone:
- a subprime loan nowadays
- what unsupervised kids make the house look like it was hit by
- vortex of air within a convective storm
Microburst:
- an amoeba fart
- localized column of sinking air producing damaging winds
- exploding specialty beer
Farthing:
- something a long ways away
- typical bad manners in a Monty Python romp
- the least possible amount
Supercell:
- a pre-Christmas sale at Walmart
- thunderstorm with a deep, rotating updraft
- an amoeba that wears a cape, mask, has super powers, and flies around rescuing damsel amoeba from dastardly free radicals
Tornado:
- used to make swirly buns at the bakery
- failed utterly to prevent Vocabulary Builder X...
- really sucks...really...honest...



Vortex:
- an artificial fabric used to make winter gear
- an adult beverage made at Texas bars that makes the room spin
- any whirling motion or mass

Squall:
- an Indian maiden
- when a kid throws one, everyone in earshot knows it
- a sudden, violent gust of wind or storm

Squalor:
- see second definition above
- stories (real and mythical) told by adult squalls to their youthful pretenders
- a state of being filthy, run-down

Weather:
- what Elmer Fudd mixes with wace and dwesses his widdle wady up in
- Redneck meaning "weather 'r not ah open a can o' whupass on ya is th' quesyun hyar.."
- state of the atmosphere at a place and time, as it regards heat, cloudiness, moisture, etc.

Perhaps June will save y'all from any more of these hyar...

7 Comments:

Blogger Jack K. said...

I can't remember if I linked you to this game site, Free Rice, or not. It is a great game, you help the hungry and you get to learn some new words.

18 May, 2008 10:09  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

I'm literally LMAO over this one. I will never again view the word "weather" in the same light.:-)

Hey, I finally got a fun spam to play with. Have you by chance heard from the widowed Mrs. Anita Adams who needs help getting a fortune out of Kuwait?:D

19 May, 2008 18:33  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

Is this a test?

19 May, 2008 18:48  
Blogger Stacy said...

I am in serious "dork" mode today....the swearing with a lisp definition for cusp had me falling off the chair.

20 May, 2008 08:28  
Blogger Debbie said...

"Squall: An Indian maiden" Good one.

Reading these reminded me of Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy when they do their dictionary scene. Pretty cute.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

20 May, 2008 10:59  
Anonymous Leeuna said...

My vocabulary has improved immensely since I have been under your excellent tutelage.
I hope you are okay. I heard on the news that there was a hurricane in your area (or maybe close by?) I figured you were out chasing it. I hope all is well with you.

23 May, 2008 00:05  
Blogger Herb said...

Ya got one a them thar answer thangs wrong. You said a "Braw" was "Redneck meaning 'one a them female parts containin' thangs'" but ever'one whaut done graddyated the 6th grade knows it's a double-barreled slingshot.

23 May, 2008 04:08  

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