Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Upstooging A Scammer -- II

I think the real Stooges would love the 'dead zone' I'm encountering between the ears of these scammers. At any rate, here's the driver's license I managed to find on a Stooges website, and forwarded to Gbenga and his lawyer, Mr. B Henry, who now enters the scene:

I have waited long for your email. Well i am MR Henry working with deferent companies here in Africa. i am very much busy with a lot of work in my hands but i can not turn a friend MR Gbenga down if he need my help because i have come along way with there company and also introduced me to a lot of company.

MR Howard, I will love to have all the detales from the start up line up to the memoradun of understanding, all that you have recieved and all that you have sent to the company to enable me to make a file and used it on the meeting date. my work will cost you $6,000 but a half payment of $3,000 will be paid first, then after my job the rest balance will be paid. I need half payment to enable me runs around pack up a file and my time taking. i will send you my informations on how the payment will be made. please i will work with time and I don't like anything slow because i believe on a time factor. MR. B. Henry

Note that I warned you the puns wouldn't get any more original or better:

I understand the need for speed, Oh Henry. The business I'm in can only move so fast, and puts people in the hole. Thus it is for you to provide me with details so that I can dig right in and make no bones about it. The skeletal information you've given me leaves me buried in anticipation for more. And I will send you all that I have corresponded with Gbenga.

A couple days pass, and then I get this from Oh Henry:

There is no good business with out a good understanding, now I have a file and the instrument to use as a repesentative. you have done well as a good client. The entire original document will be under my care it will take me a five hours drive to Benin City were the meeting will be hold but I can always take a flighty (biting my tongue real hard hyar). Mr. Howard your jobe will be handle property but you will need to make a half payment $3,000usd to enable me to start immediately(whch i have already started already) . Thanks for the job offer.

More bad puns:

$3,000 usd? Raising money here is like raising the dead in my current circumstances. But I will do what I can to dig up such an amount of cash. If I can raise it, to where is it sent and to whom?

Before Oh Henry can answer me that, I get this from Gbenga:

I have called the lawyer and he told me that he has already on with the job. More documents will be givein out to him on the 1st of next month (September) on our meeting date. What ever you need from me always ask me and I promise you all the updating informations.

I'll prod the lawyer and Gbenga with this reply:

B.O. Henry has told me about a fee he needs me to pay in half excrements, but hasn't as yet told me where and how to send it. I must say that I am dead in the water or any other substance until this is rectified. I have inquired of him about this, of corpse, so I expect he'll stiffen my resolve with the right information soon. Now excuse me, I've had a long day and I am absolutely dead here.

I warned you about the puns...Gbenga gets back to me the next day with a paragraph of more gibberish:

All the discussion has is through the phone with your lawyer. a faithful day of the meeting, which will take place on the first of next month (two days hence) and some document will be file out to him as a representate not through the internet. Arrangement file has already be prepare and will be relies to your laywer in the meeting.

Er...what he said. Finally on August 31, B.O. Henry gets back to me about the fees:

Use this informations to send the money through western union money transfers to enable my secretary pick it up:
Name: Paul Efe
City: Lagos, Nigeria
After you most have finish with the payment, send me the control number and the text question and answer. I will be leaving Lagos to Benin first thing tomorrow mornings. my finle arrrangment is in odor now.

I help him believe all is in "odor" here too:

It has cost me much rigor and mortis to raise the funds you require, but it is done in the dead of night and I have the $3,000 usd you request. I will notify you in the morning about my wiring information. Things are like a morgue here now; earlier there was a party, with condiments like cadavair and games like formaldehyde and seek. All it all, it was quite spirited. So tomorrow, I will send you details.

For some reason, Gbenga seems to feel I need some positive reinforcement, so he sends me this:
Everything will be fine because you are with the best lawyer so far and well know to our company.

Somewhat punned out, I don't bother with a reply until the next day, and I sent it jointly to Gbenga and Oh Henry:

Here is the payment info you have requested:
Amount sent: $3,000 usd
Sent via: Western Union
Sent to: Paul Efe
Lagos, Nigeria
Test Question: See that
Test Answer: Bonk ow
MTCN: 4377016996

Taking my grave responsibilities dead serious, I mustered my skeletal resources to get this deal signed, sealed, and planted. It's all up to you now.

In closing Part III...it starts getting really weird. Nyuk nyuk nyuk...*BONK*..OH!

5 Comments:

Blogger Herb said...

I can't wait. The suspense is killing me. You must feel like the cat who ate some cheese and stood by the mouse hole with baited breath.

25 September, 2007 05:28  
Blogger deni said...

I'm just wondering...

don't these morons know what spell check is?

25 September, 2007 14:49  
Blogger Mayden' s Voyage said...

I can imagine Gbenga is wetting himself trying to find the money- with a "test question" and a "Test answer" and a MTCN code! Brilliant- and funny :)

10 September, 2008 09:48  
Blogger Debbie said...

All these people are in Nigeria, Africa, what's up with that I wonder?

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

11 September, 2008 09:04  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Debbie: email scammers in Nigeria are folk heroes. Every successful scam that results in "money from mugus", elevates them with their kin and peers. Scamming's quite an industry in Nigeria, that has expanded to a number of countries there and in Europe, Asia, the Middle East, et al.

It's fun to screw widdem and pee on their kin and peers ;)

11 September, 2008 09:16  

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