Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Artful Scamster Part II


Picking up with Daniel Djuric and his artful scam, I was to fill out an employment application and interview for this position. In five years of scamsters, this is a first: I have to apply for the privilege of being taken to the cleaners.

The following is a replication of the application he emailed to Jacques, and the completed form Jacques emailed back:

EMPLOYMENT FORM

FIRST NAME: Jacques
SURNAME: Meehoff
ADDRESS: 69 Yankpud Way, Clodumbia, SC 29162, USA
PHONE: Yes, I have one...oh...803-665-4377
GENDER: Male last I looked
MARITAL STATUS: Singular
AGE: Chronologically, 55
NATIONALITY: American
ID NUMBER: A-011986574 (he never said what kind of ID number)
CURRENT JOB: Turkey inseminator/Louis Rich Farms, Inc.
ADDRESS OF CURRENT WORK: 3 Clusterflock Lane, Clodumbia SC 29164
HOW LONG WORKING THERE: 25 years of artificial turkey f...inseminating
WORK EXPERIENCE/SPECIALIZATION: I inseminate turkeys for Louis Rich, who can't hold onto them and do it himself anymore; as a hobby, I do abstract painting and photo art which I smell on the side.
ATTESTATION: in accordance to earlier instructions, you are required to recieve payment on behalf of the above mentioned firm. YOu are to deduct 10% of all funds processed on a particular order & forward the balance payment via moneygram to anyo fo the companies regional warehouses that will be given to you later. You will notify the company a week ahead if eventually you want to discontinue this job, so as to terminate all payments coming your way to avoid conflict for Danile Djuric and DDjuric Arts Work Inc. UK.

This was emailed back to him in the morning; within the hour, I received the following response:

I wish first to congratulate you.After I consider all the applications (yeah, RIGHT), I choose you as my American representative. I look most forward to our working relationship and mutual trust it requires.

I will need to know shortly from you where is address you prefer to receive clientele payments, your home or work. Advise me soon as possible, as I have orders waiting process.

My quick response:

Daniel, I am thrilled that you have chosen me from how many ever others you offered to take on this deal; it's an honor I've known before, but it's still a thrill to know someone thinks I'm good to be had.

Down to business: have the materials sent to my home address on the application; it would be hard to explain such deliveries at work, and there I usually have my hands full, in a manure of speaking.

And Daniel wastes no time in reply:

This is to acknowledge that I will inform all clientele to send payments to your home address, so that this may be expedited. I look forward to our business.

Also, I send you a sample of my art works (Part I) and you promise that when I hire you, you would share with me some of yours. I look forward to see what you do.

And I look ever so forward to show him what I -- or should I say others -- do.

Part III: A Gallery of ..... ???

4 Comments:

Blogger Jona said...

Lol, congratulations with the new job!

You know as a money laundering scheme, this idea of theirs has some merit ;o)

15 February, 2006 15:51  
Blogger Karen said...

Turkey inseminator? ROFLMAO

Congrats on your new job, there was never a doubt that you'd be hired.

16 February, 2006 07:15  
Blogger Monica said...

Another job? Geez, I thought your Colorado job kept you busy...we'll never see you now!

16 February, 2006 09:45  
Blogger poopie said...

Remind me to tell you the story of my Nigerian sugar daddy ;)

16 February, 2006 14:09  

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