Thursday, July 17, 2008

Walker: Nigerian Scamstress? Part IV


Telephony. How totally appropo in this case.

Like many prior scams, the scamstress -- Mrs. Mary Walker, allegedly related to that greedy, mean-spirited Texus Rangr who won't help her in her hour of need -- insists on having my personal phone number. At least the personal phone number of her intended mugu, Dr. U. R. Phulovit.

But not for her; for her attority.

Scamsters seem to have a thing about actually having speaks with their intended victims on the phone; something about judging the sincerity of their intended victims.

Bill Clinton would be right at home with these chicaneresque clowns, but I digress.

In her next response to Dr. Phulovit's last, Mrs. Walker gets down to the telephony:

Dear Dr. U. R. Phulovit

Am very happy the way you undersand this transaction and to kept the confident of this transaction topmost secresy God will bless you. But my big brother (ho, brother) i know myself i myself can not call you becase my communication me be trap becase an being monitor. that was why i told my confident lieyar (freudian slip?) he told me that i should not worry that every thing is in place he will run every thing for me till the money enter your account he eve told me that he will make sure that he gave me ligal support on the fund that every cetizen of nigera knows the government are not taking care of us hear. that one has to make use of is opportunity he has (for once, if unintended, a truthful statement).

But he tell me befor he will draft a mutual trust agreement and attority latter to transfer the money to your account he will like to speak wih you not that he has to discuse the transaction but just to know your vioce (yes, the vioce is the window to the mugu's true gullibility). please send you hand phone number or office number so that we can move foword because the early the better.

my best regards

No doubt.

Sometimes, I use the ploy that I'm hearing-impaired; other times, I use the ploy that my telephonic communications are monitored. In this case, I use the latter:

Ma'am: as I painstakingly explained in my last, I don't have a personal phone. The cost of residential phones in Liechtenstein is prohibitive. Only in my office do I have access to one, and there each and every call is monitored. Do you really want the attority calling me there, and compromising the secresy? You must consider that the government of Liechtenstein has some kind of reciprocal agreement with the government of Nigera, as regards telephonic communication. Your attority calls me, and your government finds out what you're up to. Is that a risk you wish to take with your last hope in life?

I think not. I certainly won't take it on your misguided behalf. I don't want your blood on my hands. Or other parts.

Tell your attority to contact my email address, and we'll work out the modalities through this means. I transmit sensitive documents via secured email all the time without problem or concern. The sooner he contacts me, the sooner we can move foword.

Next up: Part V -- Gibberish Is Good

2 Comments:

Blogger FTS said...

Oh, come on. Why not go get one of those rent-a-phones where you pay by the minute? ;)

17 January, 2006 18:48  
Blogger Karen said...

Getting a temp phone would be worth the cost just for the laughs it would bring. Do it, Skunk! ROFL

18 January, 2006 07:07  

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