Sunday, July 13, 2008

Walker: Nigerian Scamstress? Part II


Of no great surprise, Mrs. Mary Walker "well noting" my reply (but not understanding a word of it), responded affirmatively, even eagerly, thus setting the stage for the furtherance of her efforts to give me the business.

Uh huh.

Here is her reply to my initial response (as full of typos as the previous):

Dear Dr. U. R. Phulovit
Thanks for your message the content well noted. Yes, it upset us much my relation no help us though i think he was good positioned to help. after much delibration with my husban we decided to partner with you an i hope you will not betrad the trust because this is money business we need to trust each other i will love both of us to undergo mutual trust agreement so that we understand ourself (I'm all for understanding myself one day, let alone finding a woman who can, but I digress).

I have this oportunity to tell you that this transaction must be undertopmost secresy (under WHAT?) and confidential because as you know this is my last hope in life (oh sure, play the sympathy card). you may be away that our government does not care for civil servant hear in nigeran that is the more reason we use every opportunity we have hear in our country.

My regard to your famly.

My next salvo:

Ma'am: it is well that you have properly discussed this effort to give me the business with your dominated other, and come to agreement on proceeding with your effort. I am gratified to know that you are one in this.

As for trust, I have no doubt that I can trust in your desire to give me the business thoroughly, and I will likewise work tirelessly, since I don't own a car. Beyond that, I will leave no stone violated to reciprocate in a manure you are richly deserving of, and obviously feel entitled to. I couldn't agree more to your entitlement in this regard.

With that said, I forward you now my promised bona fides (passport photo, above right). When you next have speaks with me, kindly provide me with an update of all that is needed from me to you in an informational manure, so that I can, in the words of a fleet captain I was once commanded by, "make it so".

By the way, I have written a tart letter to your relation (via the Texus Rangrs), excoriating him for leaving his blood kin in the lurch; that's not a thing that the Addams Family would do, let alone Cousin It. Of that I am certain.

Dr. U. R. Phulovit

Next up: Part III and I did WHAT?

7 Comments:

Blogger poopie said...

I had a real live adventure with Nigerian con one time..met him or her in chat room and they decided to use me to avoid the import tax on some "stuff" they ordered online. It was not funny at the time, but boy it's a hoot now when I think about it!

15 January, 2006 13:52  
Blogger FTS said...

I didn't think there could be parts of the world -- with interent access, no less -- that actually believe people will buy their load of fertilizer.

Guess there's still suckers born every minute. Now armed with computers and a worldwide connection at their fingertips, they pose more of a threat to the gene pool than ever before. :p

16 January, 2006 10:57  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

Much hilarity. You get my vote for the best ever use of the word "manure."

16 January, 2006 13:08  
Blogger Karen said...

I now know what U.R. stands for and all I can say is that I should have known.

I'm sure these people don't have a clue what you're really saying to them, which is part of the charm. LOL

16 January, 2006 13:54  
Blogger Debbie said...

" ...thus setting the stage for the furtherance of her efforts to give me the business." Great line.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when they read your answers to their emails. Are they thinking, "SUCKER?"

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

13 July, 2008 11:25  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

When will they ever learn?

14 July, 2008 07:24  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

LOL! I just love these adventures in scamdom of yours.:)

14 July, 2008 19:00  

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