A Protestor's Right To Know

Protestors are a paranoid lot, especially when one group in particular -- Recreate '68 -- has made repeated vows to upset the applecart in Denver during the Democratic National Convention in late August.

So how paranoid are the Recreate '68ers? They have demanded from the Denver Police Department -- via the ACLU -- information on just how DPD will meet the protesters: with what training, tactics, and equipment.

Information that DPD is, quite understandably, reluctant to impart in full, so the radical dumb a...leader of Recreate '68 -- Glenn Spagknucklehead -- can better prepare his doped-up, anarchist, socialist, communist standard bearers, with counter-law enforcement tactics of their own.

One apparent BIIIIIIG concern of Recreate '68 is the rumor that a functional part of DPD's arsenal to deploy against violent protesters is....a 'sonic' cannon. A device capable of propelling sonic waves to the level that create the infamous -- and fabled -- "brown note". A note that, or so the story goes, causes the human target of the brown note to lose immediate and total control of their bowels, right then and there.

In short, they are demanding to know -- and have the ACLU going to court to find out -- if DPD has a "crap cannon".

Personally, I can see where this would concern the leader of Recreate '68, and his meatheaded minions: being as full of sh** as they are, the "crap cannon" would empty them of all pretense and contents, on the spot. Leaving a very media-hungry protest group rather openly humiliated, and an even more nonplussed Denver Sanitation Department with a clean-up job worse than that in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

In this case, Cedar Rapids is far better off.

A spokesperson for the Denver Police Department has denied that they have in their possession a sonic device that is capable of producing the mythical "brown note". A number of sound experts have also debunked the idea, though a few have acknowledged that a sonic device that creates "abdominal discomfort" does exist, though none of them suggest it can create the aforementioned "brown note", a note that has never been proven to exist.

So where did Recreate '68 and their pathetically stupid mouth pieces in the ACLU come up with this idiotic concern?

One almost certain good guess: Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and one particularly silly episode of the animated, parody-everything cartoon, South Park. In this referenced episode, Cartman & Co. are at a large kids' musical extravaganza, where during they are demeaned and insulted by a group of punks from NYC. Cartman decides to discover the infamous "brown note" so he can prank the NYC punks to crapping themselves on national TV. Unfortunately, in discovering the "brown note" -- and placing the substitute music on the door of the NYC punks -- adults running the program find the music, and think it's a last-minute substitution that is supposed to go for the whole program. Thus, there on national TV -- and for anyone in earshot across the world that day -- the "brown note" creates almost as much fecal material as the Democrat leadership in Congress.

Since the Platte River isn't capable of washing away the human filth that Glenn Spagknucklehead and Recreate '68 plan to put into the streets of Denver, it's probably just aw well that DPD doesn't have the mythical "crap cannon" in it's arsenal of protest-busting equipment. Then again, it's too bad that DPD doesn't have the true werewithal to put the full array of that crap on world-wide display.

Especially since I live upwind of Denver (with apologies to everyone downwind).