Skunkfeathers: Nigerian Largess Face Plants Like Fauxci

Scammers are everywhere.

Especially in government, like the abject lying sack of sh*t pictured here. And this clown wasn't even elected.

Granted, not just in our government (especially one run and ruined by Dems). Scammers get into all nooks and crannies of society.

However long it took Nigeria to get on board, they have certainly worked hard to catch up in Scamdom, especially with the online variety.

Here's yet another try by their denizens in fly-infested internet cafes strewn all over Lagos:

THE PRESIDENCY

Aso Rock villa, Asokoro District, Abuja

Dr Adeyemi Dipeolu

Special Adviser to the President of the

Federal Republic of Nigeria on

Economic and Financial Matters

DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am the Financial/Economic Adviser to the President on foreign Debt and Payment reconciliation. I am delighted to inform you that the inheritance/contract Payment Award Panel, which just concluded it’s seating in Abuja has Shortlisted your name among other beneficiaries to benefit from the Presidential Diplomatic Immunity Delivery Payment System. This Panel was primarily delegated to investigate and forward names of all the genuine and authentic fund beneficiaries.

However, I wish to bring to your notice that your name was among the genuine and authentic fund beneficiaries recommended for payment hence your profile is still reflecting in our Central Computer System (CCS) as unpaid beneficiary. To this regard, it is my pleasure to inform you that your approved inheritance payment of US$10.5Million will be paid to you via our accredited Diplomatic Personnel and I have secured every needed documents to cover the delivery to your Country. Note, the money is coming to you on 2 security proof boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seals and padded with machines.

Please be assured that this Presidential Diplomatic Immunity Payment is 100% risk free. The boxes are coming with our accredited Diplomatic agent who will accompany and deliver the boxes to your house, hotel or office address. All you need to do now is reconfirm your full Name, house address, telephone numbers, to enable the Diplomat to identify you when he meets with you. Upon his arrival at your airport, the Diplomat will call you. I hope you understand my point?

For confidential reasons, the diplomat does not know the original contents of the boxes. I declared to him that the boxes contain Sensitive Photographic Film Materials. I did not tell him the 2 security proof boxes contain money. Contact me immediately and I will let you know the Diplomat date and time of arrival in your Country. Please I need an urgent reply because the boxes are scheduled to leave as soon as we hear from you. Congratulations.

Best Regards,

Dr. Oluyemi Dipeolu

Financial/Economic Adviser to the President

Federal Republic of Nigeria

Try, try and try again they do.

Over 20 years and counting.

My 'editing pet rock gone wild' Seymour decided it was his turn to do a bit of editing at Nigerian scammer expense:

THE PRESIRUNTCY

Asshole Rock villa, Asshat District, Abuja

Dr Adeyemi Dysentery

Special Adviser to the Presirunt of the

Feceological Repugnant of Nigeria on

Economic and Financial Manures

Diplomatic Dementia In Dysphoria

Dear Sir/Madam/Gender Fluid Non-Binary Octosexual Orthopod,

I am the Financial/Economic Adviser to the Presirunt on domestic debris and fecal reconciliation. I am delighted to inform you that I have absolutely nothing to offer you but empty verbiage and assordid other non sequiturs guaranteed to further muddy the drinking water hereabouts, which just concluded its seating in Abuja. We has deliberately and with willful dysphoria short-sheeted your name among other beneficinevers to benefit from not one f**king thing that comes from this totally f**ked up country or any of its systems. This Panel was primarily delegated to investigate UFOs over Newark and came up woefully short in that, too.

However, I wish to bring to your notice that painful rectal itch, rampant in Nigeria, has not yet reached Uranus, and we wonder if you see what we just did there. Hence your profile is still reflecting in our Central Computer System (CCS) as an enema of the Auntie. To this regard, it is my pleasure to inform you that your approved gender switching device will be sent to you via our accredited Jurassic Air Courier Service and I have personally secured our top air courier pterodactyl, Jaws, to cover the delivery to your Country. Note, what's coming to you is what we feel you deserve; you will no doubt wish the same for us if you survive the delivery system employed.

Please be assured that this Presiruntial Diplomatic Insanity delivery is 100% risky in the extreme. The boxes are coming with our accredited courier pterodactyl named Jaws will accompany and deliver to your house, hotel or office address. All you need to do now is have a live sheep ready for Jaws when he arrives. This will allow you to retrieve what Jaws is carrying, if you act quickly. I hope you understand my point?

For confidential reasons, Jaws does not know the original contents of the boxes. A trained courier pterodactyl could usually care less about a delivery unless it is edible. I declared to him that the delivery once made will provide to him a fine feed in mutton, assuming you have that sheep ready when he gets there. Otherwise, you may be the main course Jaws indulges in. Contact me immediately if you cannot come up with a sheep; perhaps an inflatable sex toy yak will divert Jaws just long enough for you to get what he's bringing.