Skunkfeathers: Here Come Da *Scam* Judge

No, it really isn't Laugh In's fault.

There aren't many angles that online email scammers don't try. Pillaging the legal system for a successful scam template makes sense.

After all, they see how the American Left and dems are looting the legal system here. So naturally, they think they can do it too.

This scammer thinks that an approach from our hoser neighbors up north, Canada, will produce something:

Welcome To Supreme Court of Canada
74 Woolwich St, Guelph, ON N1H 3T9, Canada
Ontario Superior Court of Justice,

Attention Dear beneficiary

From the Desk of. Hon. Justice Mr. Richard Wagner, (Born in Montreal
on April 2, 1957,) I was sworn into office on December 18, 2017. I am
the Chief Judge of Canada. I am sending you this mail in regards to
your fund inheritance payment worth US$12,000,000,000.00 Twelve
Billion United State Dollars in custody of the Royal Bank of Canada
(RBC).

This is to inform you that the Lottery Winning payment in the amount
of US$12,000,000,000.00 was legally approved and deposited with the
Bank, Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) The lottery won by your e-mail
address via online active email address selected from the sponsor of
Coca Cola Company award. It was registered with your email address by
the Lottery Board Executive Directors of Coca-Cola Company Canada
Branch,

It goes on for a couple-three rather turgid paragiraffes before it gets to the rat killing:

To this end it will interest you to know that every and any
fee/charges required has been reduced to only the sum of $100 us
dollars. This step is in order to enable you to afford this only fee
and receive your ATM Visa Card. NOTE: Every documentation proof for
your fund has been packaged and sealed to be mailed together with your
Visa Card to your address.

You are required to buy only US$100 Google play card and Steam Wallet
Card. The ONLY charge you will ever pay before your package will leave
your address. You will never pay a dime again as agreed and signed
down here in Court of Canada that you will never pay any other money
apart from the $100.

These guys operate a pretty cheap scam. Only $100. The McKenzie Brothers would not be amused.

The "Canada" I am imagining as I read this looked less like Strange Brew and more like that land depicted in South Park:

I never really imagined all Canadians to look like split egg heads, though I suspect William Shatner could have pulled it off in a Twilight Zone episode.

Anyway, the edit of this email rather zeros in on the image of Canada depicted in South Park, since South Park lurves them their scam parodies:

From: Right Horrified Richard Wagner, <mackeywilliam101@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, June 4, 2021 3:24 PM
Subject: Attention From Supreme Burrito of Canadians Getting Goosed

Welcome To Supreme Burrito of Canada
74 Woolwich St, Guelph, ON N1H 3T9, Canada
Ontario's Jurisimprudence on Stairmistresses

Attention Zayon Pigs,

From the Desk of Justice Mr. Richard Wagner, (Born in Montreal
on April 2, 1957,) I was sworn into office on December 18, 2017 and
have been sweared at many, many times since. I am the Chief Judge
of Canadians Getting Goosed. I am sending you this mail in regards to
porpoises that my desk has been illicitly soliciting for sex in return for
Florida beeyotch front improperties.

And you thought Canada was weird on South Park.

This is to notify you that Mr. David I McKay the President and CEO
Royal Bank of Canada visited my office with an envelope containing
copies of photos of Justin Trudeau doing an inflatable yak during a

visit at 3am to Nancy Pelosi's Snatch of Horrors in China Town a

short time back.

We know'd that Trudeau was a moron, we just never know'd how
much so. Still, he's our moron, and a recent effort by American
leftists to trade Trudeau straight across for Joe Bidumb and draft
picks from 2022/2024 I refused to sign off on.

However, due to humanitarian ground and sympathy. I immediately called
up the Trudeau and explain your matter to him as regards to your wanting

nothing to do with Canadian Scott the dick, and he kind of understood this
on your part, so he agree to reduce the payment to omit Scott the dick from
this deal. Usually it cost US$250 to do that, but right now we are ruining a
special just for you for only US$100 in order to help you afford the fee.

To this end it will interest you to know that every and any
fee/charges required has been reduced because South Park allowed

a badly draw'd Saddam Insane to run our country for a couple really
bad episodes. That split-headed bastard nearly ruined our reputation
until Trudeau literally did.

You are required to buy only US$100 Google play card and Steam Wallet
Card. Why? Because Terrence and Phillip will not stop a marathon fart-fest
until you do this.

Please I want you to know that you have from now till the end of two
days, what's-left-of-Newark Time, to affect the required payment and avoid a visit
from the McKenzie Brothers and their hoser routine. You'll find it such
a moving requiem for a heavy weight that you will surely share the
testimony at your competency herring to your family and to the church
where you worship inflatable Hellary sex toys.

Therefore, the days of you being subjected to wearing triple masks

and getting vaccinated in the ass against the dreaded FARTVID-19.5 virus is over as that is the case with some corrupt officials down
there in Africa.

This is your last chance to comply with the instruction or else I will
send Camel-Toe Harris to cackle at you for reasons no one can
fathom. You have only two working days to comply or lose the
last ever opportunity to maintain your sanity, South Park style.

Thanks, and God hep all things Harvardian.
Best Regards,
Rt. Twisted Richard Wagner, late German composer, reprimed
with formaldehyde to become P.C. Chief Justice of Canada
Ontario Superior Burrito of Stairmistresses