Soccering 'Round the Horn(s) of Africa

World Cup mania in South Africa.

*Yawn*.

Yeah, I know it only comes around once every four years.

Thank gawd. Especially THIS TIME.

Personally, I'd rather watch paint dry. It's quieter, too. One local sportscaster got in trouble with his bosses for referring to soccer as "mainly played in countries where livestock roamed the streets". Another recently opined that "oh yeah, this is the perfect politically correct sport: in the first three matches, nobody won! How's YOUR self-esteem today? Why doesn't soccer try to SETTLE SOMETHING!"

Of course, because it's the World Cup, you can't access some news source without hearing something about the World Cup. Including those horns. By the hundreds. Thousands. Gazillions. Whether it be one or ten thousand, just as annoying, like listening to Baghdad Bob Gibbs babble, in multiple stereo.

I heard one South African official respond to criticism about the horns by saying, in essence, "it's our way, and the horns will stay".

Granted, I'm about as musical as a door knob, but this horn -- I can't remember what it's called, but it begins with a 'v' and might as well end with a 'v', far as tonal quality goes -- would cause water buffalo to wear ear protection. Our local radio station, whenever doing a sports segment that includes World Cup so-called results, feels it culturally necessary to try to break up the sporting news giver, by playing sound bytes of the horns during the sportscast. Even some of the soccer players at the tournament are getting annoyed by the horns.

But it's their way, and the horns will stay.

Four years ago, my local sports source loved to play the call by a South American or Italian soccer play-by-play dude, everytime someone scored (which in this sport, is as rare as an honest politician): it took him longer to say "gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll", than the game itself took to play.

They still love to play his drug-out goal call. But now, it must compete with the horns.

World Cup Soccer. *Yawn* Perfect for napping.

With the sound down, of course.