"You're an Idiot!"

*Blogger's note: I'll get something new here soon! Meantime, here's one of my less auspicious efforts from '07...which is still largely the case today LOL*

Granted, it isn't always stated just that way, but the implication is clear.

Recently my manager at work, after hearing about my latest round of "offers to give me the business" from the Nigerian/et al email scammers, shook his head and said, "y'know, one of these days, if the Feds don't show up at your door, a bunch of machete-wielding scam enforcers will!". His diplomatic way of saying "you're an idiot!".

In a discussion with another workplace peer, I was asked to explain what my attraction is to chasing a storm to get a tornado photo. After explaining it in what I considered to be a pseudo-reasoned manner, I received a look that said what her words didn't quite achieve: you're an idiot.

In dealing with the avalanche of Russian bride-wannabe scam letters -- letters best handled by *click delete* -- I wound up with two whom said they wanted to exchange correspondence, be friends, and have me help them with their English. I re-read the letters. This is what they said. With some degree of caution -- aka, my "change of letter tone or intent" radar on full scan -- I agreed.

Sure enough, first the younger of the two suddenly began saying things like "I most eager want to visit you in America. You agree?" and "I know it expensive, but you have me stay with you...I make you happy, yes?". And right on the heels of that little *TOING*, came a sob story about her local internet cafe closing this week, and she needed money for a new computer...and would I consider....? And this, after telling me that snail mail service there is so bad, most of what is sent from abroad doesn't arrive "because mail workers find to steal find money from foreign mail".

*TWICE-TOING*

Then the older of the two -- still 20 years my junior -- suddenly started talking like we weren't just friends exchanging emails...we were "more much in heart, yes?". And then came her broaching the "L" word, as in how she was coming to feel about...er..uh..well, y'know. And a week later (aka, earlier this week) came "that" letter many a dating male dreads: "time it is you for to say what you feel, and is what please your intentions serious with me, yes?"

*TOING SQUARED*

Whatever amusement I momentarily felt suddenly disappeared in a self-uttered salvo of "sh** sh** sh** SH**!"s. I'd done it again! Also known as "I know better than to get into this sh**; I know this sh** will always evolve like this; and still I get into this sh**, knowing this sh** is going to wind up like this sh** always does", followed by a few heart-felt head bangs on the desk.

I'll earn credit for a fourth concussion yet.

Looking back at it, I've done a host of things that many a rational, reasoned person would call the act of an idiot, even if I didn't see it that way at the time. The "falling out of a tree getting firewood" episode. A couple of my actions during the Murphy Gulch fire in '78. The infamous back-packing Poseidumb Adventure. The two blizzard epics of 1982 and 2003. Countless other outdoor escapades. A few easily-avoidable work-related episodes that I foolishly chose not to easily avoid. A couple moments of utterly foolish "white knight" behavior that almost got me rendered into composting material. The way I handle personal finances. And, of course, the aforementioned examples.

As for the former Russian "friend", I wrote her a diplomatic but cautionary letter about her eagerness to visit me in the US, and why this wasn't something to be rushed or lightly considered, with a reminder that since we were separated by thousands of miles geographically, and 29 years chronologically, "making me happy, yes?" had an ominous ring to it. As for the request for money for a new computer, I just ignored that 'un.

And for the 'nuke of the week' -- the latter/older Russian "friend" -- I wrote her a very clear, but diplomatically gentle reply, letting her know I had the same intentions I'd had from the outset, and that I didn't feel the same way she did. I hoped we could maintain friendly correspondence, but would understand if she chose to end our communications, in view of her change of objectives.

A response from the former is still pending; what I got back from the latter was, predictably, "you're an idiot!" in her rudimentary English, along with something along the lines of "drop dead!".

I don't have much of an argument against the former, and at some point, the latter will biologically or otherwise take care of itself ;-)

So for you blog readers out there who dared to harbor any doubts about it...harbor them no more: I'm an idiot.

June's just around the corner: prime storm chasing on Colorado's Eastern Plains time. First opportunity I get (day off from work + storm weather = idiot in pursuit), I will be sooo there.

Long as I'm going to have the title, might as well help justify/solidify it ;-)

Though, in a weak but floated-anyway defense, ponder this: at least in the middle of a tornadic thunderstorm, I'm not likely to be set upon by a gang of machete-wielding scam enforcers, or aggrieved Russian bride wannabes.

Y'know...there might just be a plausible method to my idiocy.