Dear Skunky -- V

Sometimes, you need a little help in life. Sometimes, you need some professional expertise and advice. Sometimes, you need to consult with another whose experience has taken them where logic is left behind.

Sometimes, you'd be better off to just hit the 'delete' button. But what fun would that be?

Dear Skunky has been asked for help, by a fellow blogger who has received one of them thar email scam letters, Little Lamb. LL is apparently not familiar with this venue of the Internet, and LL knows that Dear Skunky irrationally, foolishly courts and jousts with these cretins.

In short, and to paraphrase a quote from Little Lamb, "I want Skunkfeathers to represent me with these people".

Hooha.

What Little Lamb received is what is known as a "phishing" scam letter. Something one receives that appears to be from legitimate sources, seeking folks who believe in the authenticity of the sender, so they'll click on the provided links (which don't go to any legitimate name-brand company) and give to the lower-than-snake-spit scammers things like useful personal information, accounts and passwords to same, for later use by the scammers in ID fraud and theft.

Here's perxactly what LL received (under the PayPal banner):

Dear Customer,

This email confirms that you have paid SH ENT (gdash1@gmail.com) $23.00 USD using PayPal.

Payment Details

Transaction ID: 9U863270P60945720

Item Price: $20.00 USD

Total Shipping: $3.00 USD

Total: $23.00 USD

Order Description: Swishahouse Logo - T-Shirts

The following options were included with this payment: Size: 2X

Color: navy

It may take a few moments for this transaction to appear in the Recent Activity list on your Account Overview.

Business Information

Business: SH ENT

Contact E-Mail: gdash1@gmail.com

(that was the bait; now here comes the hook)

Note: If you haven't authorized this charge , click the link below to dispute transaction and get full refund to the link below http://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/refund-verification (Encrypted link)

If you have any questions about the shipping and tracking of your purchased item or service, please contact SH ENT at gdash1@gmail.com.

Thank you for using PayPal!

The PayPal Team

PayPal Email ID PP120

Now, if you don't have a PayPal account, you'd likely ignore this and move on. But if you do -- based off the email addy you received this on, and this is what the scammers are counting on -- your curiosity may well get the better of you, as you know you haven't made any such purchase, and you'll immediately click on the link to figure out what's going on, if not to get your refund. If you're paying attention when you click on the link, you'll note what appears in your top screen window is NOT something that accesses PayPal, but another site entirely. One, in this case, tricked out to look like a PayPal site. You enter your account access information, and wha la, you've been had.

It must work, 'cuz I've been receiving these kind of emails for the past three years. It just doesn't work with me, 'cuz I don't and have never had a PayPal account. On a few occasions, I've followed the link, and entered in totally bogus (and thoroughly insulting to the scammers) account and password information, and that was that.

But since Little Lamb asked for "representation", Dear Skunky was more than happy to provide it. Witness, therefore, the letter that was dispatched to the provided email of SH ENT:

Subject: Official Notice of Rejecture Of Your PayPal Phishing Gambit

Dear SH ENT of dubious antecedence and poorly-crafted phishing scam,

I am the Hon. Skunkfeathers, PC, AoL, and occasional blog columnist of Dear Skunky, retained to represent the party of the first part (herein and after referred to as LL), who was contacted by yourself under the auspices of party of the second part (herein and after referred to as PS), and served under a pseudo PayPal linkage with notice of unrequited debt in the amount of $23 USD for a 2x sized, Navy colored, Swishahouse T-shirt, alleged transaction ID of 9u863270p60945720.

As retained representative for party of the first part in this faux transaction by party of the second par, herein are the grounds thereby the fraudulence of the actions generating the email to the party of the first party by party of the second part are deigned to be, in all parts contained therein, inert compost:

1. The party of the first part never served in the Navy.

2. The party of the first part doesn't wear a 2x, and isn't likely to order something that would fit the party of the first part like a circus tent.

3. The party of the first part has never heard of Swishahouse, and to quote the party of the first part, "I wouldn't order a t-shirt that said that for all the lamb chops in a sheep ninja training camp in the Falklands or Montana, whichever's closest". More or less.

4. The party of the first part has never used a PayPal account for such haberdasheresque nonsense.

5. The party of the first part has never heard of, done business with, contacted, or had her pets defecate on the lawn of the party of the second part.

6. The party of the first part doesn't phish, fish, or advocate whaling in the rain forests or allowing tuna to fish for dolphins, as it is non sequitur to this proceeding.

You are thereby notified that your phishing scam email to the party of the first part is recognized as that heretofore so labelled, and is rejected on the basis of the heretofore recognition thereof, and because you are theretofore recognized as being full of composting material of the most dubious origins.

In other words, pound sand: you ain't gonna git squat from the party of the first part, you goat sucking egg poking cheeseball.

I have the honor to be,

Hon. Skunkfeathers, PC, AoL

The Law Orifices of Howard, Fine, Howard, Skunkfeathers, Phulovit, Frankoonsteen, Ungabunga and Ewehoff, PC AoL.

"Representation With Obfuscation Made Vacuously Obstruse"

As the email didn't 'bounce' I eagerly awaited some kind of intelligent, articulate riposte from the scammers.

Uh, not really.

In any event, I didn't get any. Instead, I got the satisfaction of having soived, when my soivices was sought. Now Little Lamb has only to worry about some of her regular commenters, who keep wanting to cook her (like /t.).

For that, Dear Skunky recommends she sends a few of her ninja sheep to deliver some pointed lamb chops about the head and shoulders.