Friday, May 7, 2021

No Time Is Safe With 'Editing Gone Wild' Pet Rocks

My rather naughty 'editing gone wild' pet rocks, Seymour and Element, have been on a mission of late.

To find something truly bizarre to edit.

It's 2021; bizarre shouldn't be hard to find.

It wasn't.

Apparently some poor farmer in Belgium got tired of dodging a stone marker on his property with his tractor, and decided to move it a few feet.

And in so doing....he changed the border between Belgium and France that's existed since after the Battle of Waterloo.

Le whoops.

The pet rocks found that idea amusing...and then took it beyond the now and into...:

Space-Time Continuum Speculator In Liechtenstein Accidentally Moved Country Border Perhaps Years Into The Future and Made...No One Knows

Seymour PetRock with Element PetRock    1 hr ago


A man who dabbles in space-time continuum research in Liechtenstein believes he accidentally moved his country's border to some future time, having no idea what will result and when, opening his country up to a future European territory battle with unforeseeable consequences.

  A man who believes that he is capable of impinging on the space-time continuum while doing what he called “landmark work” accidentally opened a future international brawl over European territories.

A time researcher in Liechtenstein accidentally moved the time-space continuum in a manner that he cannot as yet determine to what extent, because he thinks he did it in the future. He just speculates that at some point when that future time is reached, it will have impacted the territory border that may have either shrunk or enlarged Liechtenstein's territory at the expense of Switzerland and Austria by an unknown number of feet, or yards, or perhaps even miles. 

"Mein whoopsensee" was his initial response to questions from authorities who are even now wrestling with how to assess what he's done when it hasn't happened yet.

According to a report from WTFNS, the man manipulated through quantum physics a vacuous border line in the space-time continuum in a manner that he is certain will -- when the time he did it in is caught up to -- change the borders of Liechtenstein in relation to its two immediate neighbors.  Just how he doesn't know.

Nor does anyone else.

The BBC noted that the potential future border controversy is of particular unknown importance because of its role in European history's future. Liechtenstein's borders have remained unchanged since 1434, when the Rhine established the border between the Holy Roman Empire and the Swiss cantons. 

Now, all that may be forever changed at some future point, "because some Einstein-wannabe decided to jack with the future in a manner he was ill-equipped to jack with" said Edvard Borkbork, a lawyer for the Office of European Future Litigations League.

At the same time, the mayor of a small town in Switzerland took to his social media accounts to find the humor in the serious situation.  "We've managed to live in relative hominy with Liechtenstein since 1434, and had no plans to change it.  Now -- or probably later -- we may become part of Liechtenstein, and this we hadn't planned on." 

He later appeared on the French news channel WTF1, saying: "The researcher apparently set the stage for having made Liechtenstein bigger and Switzerland and Austria smaller.  The 'when and how much' remains to be seen, but I am a bit dubious as to how it will affect us."

The  BBC  noted that Swiss and Austrian authorities are in touch with the time researcher about undoing the change in the future borders and seeing that they will not suddenly change at some unknown future point, else he could face federal charges at such time as the changes suddenly manifest. Unless, of course, the changes occur after the researcher dies of old age, COVID or in a meth lab explosion brought on by COVID.

At the same time, authorities worry that if the researcher tries to set things right, and repeats the mistake on a different scale, Liechtenstein could find itself in the past, creating an uncertain void in the map of current-day Europe with unforeseen consequences for anyone crossing the border.  

"You leave Switzerland in 2021 and wind up in Liechtenstein circa 1434.  The implications are unimaginable.  How would one, for example, refuel a Yugo in 1434?  And how would the local Liechtensteinians react to the sudden appearance of a Yugo?  Let alone televised episodes of South Park or the Gong Show?  The past could be significantly altered, impacting the future in unknown ways.  Though if Nancy Pelosi's parents were convinced to practice birth control, that couldn't help but improve the future somewhat."

 Time will tell if the pet rocks are on to something...except in the last instance, where they simply must be 100% right.

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Blogger Sandee said...

They did a great job, Mike. The world is a very strange place. Very.

Have a fabulous day and weekend, Seymour and Element. My best to your dad. ♥

07 May, 2021 09:41  

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