Perseverance in Scamland

The Perseverance Mars Rover never saw this coming, let alone never heard it breathing hard.

Luckily, it's on Mars, not in Kaliforlornia where *that* could be your next governator.  

Meanwhile, the United Blank of Africans is at it again, trying to convince me and anyone else they think they can con that we've got money coming from them.

*Cue the look on the right again*

The ploy is little different from any others they've tried over the years.  Here's just a piece of it:'

UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA - AFRICA'S GLOBAL BANK
HEAD OFFICE ADDRESS UBA HOUSE
57 MARINA P.O. BOX 2406 LAGOS NIGERIA
PHONE:+234 815 730 5238

FAX: 234 674 478 8273

 

We wish to inform you that we have received instruction from A.U AFRICAN UNION/ E.U /EUROPEAN UNION/I.M.F INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND to pay you the sum of One million five hundred thousand united state dollars ($1.500,000.00)through diplomatic hand delivery.

Do to global economic crises we have deducted the sum of $3,000 from your ($1.500,000.00)to take care of the expenses. Therefore the total Funds you will receive in a consignment box isOne million four hundred and ninety seven thousand united state dollars($1.497, 000.00).

We have finalized arrangements to have this delivery done with UN Courier Company,be informed that A.U have warned us to make sure that you stop further communication with other fake offices who claim that they will pay you through Western Union , Money Gram, Bank Draft/Cheque, or wire Transfer because all of them will demand for fees.

As always, so NOT convincing.

Nor will be the edit I sent back to them and a crapload of their colleagues, but eh:

From: UBA Grope <uba@fund.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 8, 2021 3:17 AM
To: Recipients <uba@fund.org>
Subject: Uba Dooba Dooba Doo

 

UNITED BANK OF FAWG - AFRICA'S GLOBAL OFFERING OF NOTHING USEFUL
HEAD OFFICE ADDRESS UBA DOOBA DOOBA DOO HOUSE
57 MARINA P.O. BOX 2406 LAGOS NIGERIA
PHONE:+234 851 730 5328

FAX: 303 582 5440

FAUXCI:  234 817 723 8253

 

We wish to inform you that we have received instruction from the Perseverance Mars Rover to pay someone, somewhere, the sum of One million five hundred thousand united state dollars ($1.500,000.00) through diplomatic mechanical hand jive.

Do to global spell-checking crises we have deducted the sum of $3,000 from that initial ($1.500,000.00) to take care of the expenses. Therefore, the total Funds left that will be loaded into a Space X test rorket and launched in what is to be expected to be a cosmic clusterf**k with unknowd conserquences is One million five hunnerd thousand united state dollars less the $3000 which must be computed by crummy core standards so as to provide a number that makes no sense whatsoever.

We have finalized arrangements to have this delivery done with Space X Company.  Do be informed that A.U have warned us to make sure that you stop further communication with other fake offices who claim that they will pay you through UBA because all of them will demand for fees.

So will we, but we digress.

A.U members lay scattered across a field after one of them launched the most deadly of onion farts, so now we have to recruit new A.U members and start this sh*t all over again.  Hate when that happens.

In the Greenwich Meantime, kindly reconfirm below information to ensure we've reached someone:

Name:

Age:

Sex:

Address:

Email:

Direct phone:

Occupation:

Company:

Country of origin:

Nearest Spaceport:

This required information will form the basis of how this scam intends to deceive.  You may check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Once we receive the information, nothing will happen but it will amuse us if you think something will.

Because of the impostors, we hereby issue you our code of abject misconduct which is (OMG/WTF/ABC/PO001) so you have to indicate this code when contacting us by using it as a subject noun, adjective verb, dangling participle or just write the f**king thing.

For more details call me on my direct phone no: +234 815 730 5238

Regards,

John Uzo John
Director Internet Cafe
United Bank of Fawg
PHONE:+234 815 730 5238

ubafricaward@gmail.com
africacompens@yahoo.com

The originating scammers appear to have got the message, but one of my former scammers, a recipient of the edit, didn't:

is this real?  who are please

We are please.  Yes, it real.  Or reel.  Operators are standing by.  Don't disappoint them or they'll cook and eat your antecedence, unclecedence and all your other little cedence.

After that, they figured out it 'tweren't real.