Saturday, October 24, 2009


The Brits have a unique sense of humor. They elect people almost as stupidly funny as we do.
But first, a word about our sponsored scammer.
I was notified via email -- addressed to 'Undisclosed Recipients', meaning anyone with an email address and a pulse -- that I had received a "cash disbursement" of $360,000, the first payment of which was awaiting me at Western Union, (widda tracking # an' ever'thang!).
Usefully gullible (needed to be a scambaiter), I responded with a typically boring reply: No f***ing sh**?? Whoa, dude, you da total f***ing bomb! I'm off to Western Union!!!
That got back an almost immediate reply, letting me know that I had to authenticate myself, and pay a fee *TOING* to start collecting my regular Western Union payments until my allotted $360k was disbursed to me. The fee -- 220 pound sterling -- had to be paid before the first Western Union transfer could be collected.
Story of my life.
My pet rock, Seymour, is sitting off to the side, snidely quoting a favorite movie of mine, "Always widda negative waves, Moriarty...always widda negative waves!" I might have to cut off his DVD watching, but I digress.
What I found interesting about the second and revealing email, was the following passage: the money was sent to you as a result of the G-20 Leaders' Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy that was held in London on 2 April 2009 at the ExCeL Centre. It followed the first G-20 Leaders Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy, which was held in Washington on 14-15 November 2008. After some additionally droll gobbledygook, it got to the rat killing: you were sent a payout of USD 7,500 according to instructions from the HM Treasury, in full Her Majesty's Treasure UK, and at the direction of the British Prime Minister, Mr. James Gordon Brown.
So, the PM of the UK...hisself, Mr. James Gordon Brown..HEY...oops, not THAT James Brown...decreed that I, lil' ol' me, should get, from HM Treasury, $360k, to help in the current global economic malaise.
Dang. Must be due to my ancestral heritage, earlier referenced in this h'yar blog, eh?
Well, I thought it unusual, to say the least. But not one to look a gift ass in the horse, I reckoned perhaps a short 'thank ye' email to Hisself would be in order. Even if the esteemed and sauteed PM, Mr. James HEY Gordon Brown just recently implored the EU to sign the new climate change treaty within 50 days, "or it would be too late".
So I chose to deferentially mix a thank you with a polite WTbloodyF? into an email to Number 10 Downing Street (sent 10/19/09):
Esteemd Prime Minister,
First, I want to express to you my totally surprised but grateful thanks for having designated me a recipient of a drop in the bucket from Her Majesty's Treasury, UK, in the amount of $360,000 USD, at the recent G-20 in London, UK, back in April of this year. I have done every bit as much to deserve this as our president did to get his Nobel-Sysco award, and I can promise you, I will endeavor to continue to do just as I did, since it seems to be working, though danged if I know how. But I'm a lowly former colonial, and it isn't important that I know the 'how'.
But I also did wish to ask you, at the same time -- with, of course, all due respect to a head of state of a long-running empire like the UK, and one to which I am bound by blood and heritage -- WTbloodyF are you doing, aligning yourself with that bloomin' Yankee wanker, Al Gore, in the global warming/climate change fraud and swindle? One of your own, Sir Christopher Monckton, seems to have a firm grasp of the situation, but you side with the bloated colonial buffoon that travels the world, seeking to stamp out carbon-generated man-bear-pig*? What kind of a bloody cock up is that? Respectfully asked, of course.
I mean, with all due respect, Mr. PM, what is this "50 days or else" nonsense? What's the point? Everyone KNOWS we're all balls up on 12/21/12, 'cuz the Mayan Calendar says so.
So eat beans and bangers, and let fly all the carbon and methane one can. Again, respectfully, of course.
I'll send you a copy of the letter I expect from the HRC State Department, regarding my failure of decorum and diplomatic niceities, once it's delivered by broom.
And how many of YOU are 'undisclosed recipients' like me?
* the global warming-created creature that AlGore pursues in a couple of rather amusing episodes of South Park...

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Blogger Andy said...

HA! So, did you get the money yet?

24 October, 2009 07:00  
Blogger Sniffles and Smiles said...

I hope you sent a copy of your letter to the scammer as well...that way s/he can tremble, wondering if s/he will receive a letter from #10 Downing Street re: the scammer's aforesaid activities!!! ROFL...You do beat all, Mike!!! And your one liners never cease to crack me up!!!!! Brilliantly funny! Hugs, my friend, to you~Janine

24 October, 2009 11:08  
Blogger Serena said...

I'm sure you're putting together a list of wonderful ways to spend your windfall. LOL.:-)

24 October, 2009 17:46  
Blogger jenniferw said...

You really must park Seymour in front of the tube and cause him to watch all three Pirates movies, sequentially and repeatedly. The one-liners from those films really are nonpareil.

Johnny Depp ain't bad either -- somewhat easy on the eyes, to be more specific -- but I suspect that fact would be lost on you and Seymour.

At least I hope it would ...

As to the climate change scam and the Copenhagen treaty, you might not want to get me started on that subject. Going now to put a padlock on my (already empty as a schoolroom on the fourth of July) wallet.

24 October, 2009 19:56  
Blogger A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Book 'em, Danno!

24 October, 2009 21:51  
Blogger Debbie said...

"the money was sent to you as a result of the G-20 Leaders' Summit..." Pffff!

Love the image too.

Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth

25 October, 2009 10:06  
Blogger Frank Baron said...

Oh, you've got more patience than I do. I just toss/delete 'em.

25 October, 2009 14:18  
Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Yup! Half man, half bear and half pig. LOL!!!!!

26 October, 2009 13:09  
Blogger Cheffie-Mom said...

Hahahaha!! Taking a vacation with the money??

26 October, 2009 13:12  

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