Monday, September 14, 2009

Breakin' The Rules IV



It's Thursday, and good ol' Franky has apparently been stewing about the progress of things overnight, cuz he starts out Thursday with a burr up his bung:

HELLO TODAY IS THE 3RD DAY AND YOU ARE TELLING ME THE SAME STORY ABOUT YOU SENDING MONEY IF I DONT HEAR FROM YOU I WILL REPORT TO THE AUTHORITIES, HOW CAN YOU SEND MONEY IN WESTERN UNION AND THEY DONT GIVE YOU MTCN...TELL THAT LADY TO GIVE YOU THE MTCN NUMBER, WILL CONTACT AUTHORITIES AND MY BANK IF YOU GIVE ME SAME EXCUSE I WILL REPORT TO THE BANK AND THE POLICE, UNLESS THE NICE LADY TAKE YOUR MONEY AND LYING TO YOU GO TO THE LADY AND TELL HER TO GIVE YOU MTCN OF THE MONEY YOU GIVE HER TO SEND...I AM A SERIOUS MAN AND I DONT PLAY WITH MY WORDS

you gonna start today yell at me again and i wont not go!

MONK, GO DOWN TO MTCN AND GET THE INFORMATION, MY MOVERS ARE WAITING FOR THESE INFORMATION, UNLESS YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME KINDLY GO DOWN QUICKLY

i will only if you stop yell at me...i dont not like it ok.

PLEASE GO DOWN TO WESTERN UNION AND GET THE MTCN IT IS IMPORTANT I DONT LIKE THE MOVERS COMPLAINING

ok ok...i go now ok.

OK I AM SORRY I YELL AT YOU, PLEASE GO BACK TO WESTERN UNION AND TELL THE NICE LADY THAT SHE PLEASE GIVE YOU MTCN SO THAT THE PEOPLE YOU SEND MONEY TOO CAN PICK THE MONEY...PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THEY GIVE YOU THE MTCN TODAY...COMPLAIN TO THEM THAT YOU MISPLACED IT AND YOU NEED TO GET IT, IF THEY WANT MONEY FROM YOU TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULD WITHDRAW FROM THE MONEY THAT YOU SEND IN WESTERN UNION

(time to ratchet up the screwing with Franky)

the lady at western union was not nice today. she get mad at me and tell me she already check that money was sign for after she sended it and i am wasting her time and to go home. i tell her i say this to you, and you yell at me and say movers didnt not get money, and she say that she has computer and you are stupid as i am to argue. she say she will call police if i come back about it. why does everyone want police? so franky, i do what you say, and this is what she say. what else can i do?

(Franky's composure is threadbare, me thinks)

LISSEN YOU STUPID IDIOT...I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES. I WILL FIX YOU FOR THIS DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? I WILL FIX YOU FOR THIS JUST YOU WAIT
(so let's make it moreso)

what do you mean, fix me? i not broke.

MONK, YOU HAVE TO PAY THAT MONEY TO THE MOVER..IF NOT I WILL REPORT THESE CASE TO THE BANK THAT YOU PLAY FRAUD ON ME AND YOU KNOW THE POLICE WILL COME GET YOU GET THE MONEY FOR THE MOVERS IF NOT

i wont listen to you anymore. you mean. lady at western union say you lie. you mean and you make mean statements to me. you threaten to fix me when i not broke. i no listen to you any more. i send your mover money. i find another buyer for desk. phfffft. i have box of powder donuts i share with police when they come. police like donuts. i make friends with them. phffffft.

MONK YOU STOP THESE STUPID EMAILS NOW IF YOU SEND BACK MY MONEY FOR THE DESK I WONT CALL THE POLICE BUT IF YOU STOP THIS STUPID NONSENSE OR I WILL MAKE YOU PAY AND THE POLICE WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRY OK?? GET THE MONEY BACK OR ELSE.

phffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. i go to western union now to send you back 300. i do all you ask and you ack like jerk. you not scar me! i send you back 300 and we done. phffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

(after about an hour to let Franky stew some more)

hear is yore 300 dollurs. we even now. phffffffffffffft.

(Monk sent Franky a copy of an old, irrelevant faux Western Union receipt, resized to the point that it's totally illegible).

TYPE THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE IN THE FORM.

you dont not tell me what to do! i wire your money. i send you receep. you cash it and leave me alone you mean man.

i can not see any thing on the paper please look at the paper and write out the money transfer control number please i beg you thank you

(LOL...now he's practically grovelling...gotta love how this is playing out)

you yell at me, you threaten me, you mean to me! i do what you say and still you mean! i send you money AND i send you receep. you take to western union and get your money. phfffffffffft.
ok I am sorry I just check the reciept and i cant read it well there are some numbers on the top right corner they are 10 in number please send me the nuber agin i am sorry for yelling at you.

no you arent not! you do it more than one. you threaten me with BFI and police! you apologize then you make threats again. you not sawry. you call me names. i do what you tell me. i do my best. you dont not apprecate me. i send you money back. you go western union and get it.

yes i would go but i need you to office but monk i honestly am sorry and i need you to send me the number on the top right corner of the reciept thats all i need pleeeeeassssssssssss...

i dont not beleeve you. you call me names and threaten me. if you sinsere, you not do that. you not sinsere. you have what you need from me. you go western union.

hey i am sorry ok!! give me the number on the top corner of the reciept now

see??? i knowd you arent not sawry. you have receep. it what you say you need. now go cash it.

and send me another and bolder version of the reciept

i not have to do no more. what is a bolder version? what does a big rock have to do? this makes no sence.

monk, i can not read it the reciept is no clear from here send again.

it is what i copy. it what my computer scan in. you yell at my computer now?

send me the number

what number?

(Franky finally gets mad again)

ALL THE INFORMATION IN THE PAPER YOU SENT TO ME IN COMPUTER I CAN NOT READ ANY WRITE OUT EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON PAPER TYPE IT IN YOUR COMPUTER AND SEND TO ME

no. you say something about numbers. what numbers? i not copy hole receep.

IN THE RECIEPT YOU SEND ME THERE IS A NUMBER THERE TYPE THE NUMBER IN YOUR COMPUTER AND SEND ME AND HOW MUCH YOU SEND TO MY MOVER.

there are all kind of number on the sheet. what number you mean? how hard is this to explain?

OK MONK...WRITE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE PAPER TO ME..WRITE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE PAPER TO ME...WRITE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE PAPER TO ME...WRITE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE PAPER TO ME..

no. you make fun of me. you use receep i send you. phfffffffffft.

Monk...write the security number to pick up money.

what is this number? wear is number?

it is the number they gave to you it is called the money transfer security code

wear is this number on the paper?

when you pay they gave you 2 papers, 1 a reciept 2 a plain paper printed from computer did they give you these papers?

i send you copy of the paper! wear is number on paper?

it is writen after the amount sent

there are ten number. whih one you want?

can you scan the paper again because i can not see any thing on paper it is not clear on my computer here

i already scan it. whih number you need?

write out the ten let me see them, and hw much you send

i write 10...i send 300.

write out the ten numbers you say you see..

1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..0..those are numbers i see

yes, write the 10 out

ok..ten

do you see other numbers there apart from this one you write and you surpose to send $1200 not 300 i send 1500 and your desk 300 so 1200 should remain

gee wiz..i already tell you! i send 1125 to you mover that the lady at western union say was picked up. i send you the 300 for the desk you wont not send movers to pick up. dont you not read what i write?

go on yahoo messenger so we can chat and i explain better to you.

i undersand ok. what number you want. i write you ten. is that all?

no that is not number the number is like this 9673471235 this is the kind of number because when you go to western union you will fill form and put the number in the form

i didnt not put that number on the form. they did. and that wasnt the number, that was a bunch of numbers. whih do you want?

the bunch of numbers they gave you is what i want for the 300 and for the 1125 the numbers they gave you

i dont not know that numbers for the 1125 the lady told me that money collected so i dont not have that numbers. i have the numbers for the 300. whih one you want?

let me have the number for the 300 they give you

whih one. there is 10 of them.

yes, let me have them all of them

well..there are three 1s, two 0s, a 5, two 3s, a 7 and a 9. i guess that all of them.

(now he thinks he's making progress)

who is the name is it of my mover Denise mcalhaney you send money to?

no..i send the collected money to that Jon with the funny last name and he pick it up. the 300 i send to you. who is denise? (Denise is the second mover he sent for Monk to use)

you say your name as sende monk bey?

that is dumb thing you say...what name else would i use?

is this the number they give you 1110053379 at western union for the 300?

those numbers in there, yes. not in that order, but yes.

sorry because i check with the number you give me on western union website and it say no money there

where it go? is this a problem with western union? it make me not want to use it.

what order were they help me please i see you are tell me the truth sorry for yelling send me in the correct order

the correct order was i tell them to send you 300. did they lose it too?

can you give me the number the way it is written on the paper for the 300 please

oh..ok

can you please give me the number the way it writen on the paper please?

oh..ok

Monk, can you please give me the number as it is written on the paper?

oh..ok

so will you write it well for me now monk?

oh ok. first i have to pee.

common monk i need the information before somebody pick the money again like they pick the 1125

ok...could someone pick up your money without you?

(now I think I'm wearing him down...)

monk were are you from asia? or america?

wear is asia? is that a planet or an iland?

if you do not give me the information on time some one will pick it up like they pick up the 1125 so send me the number in the correct order

but isnt not someone soupose to pick it up? i confuse.

are you a real monk? or is that just ur name?

huh...my parents call me monk. it short for monkton. i like monk.

monk, get me number in the right order

do numbers have odor to them? i didnt not know that.

(and Franky finally *snaps* with Monk..)

look i am trying to help you out of a problem here my bank called me and asked if i authorised any payment and i have not replied them. if i say i havent authorised any payment your bank would call you and ask you to pay back that money and if i my mover doesn't pick up the money i would ask my bank to reufnd the total amount of 1500 which you would pay if you dont give me the mtcn number cus it looks like you are playing games with me i give you a simple instrucion and you are asking me foolish questions like does money have odor. if i may ask how old are you? get me that mtcn number or i will call my bank monkton bey or whatever you call your self cus you look like you want to get your self into trouble

i not look for trouble, franky. i am happy go lucky person. i tried to help you and you dont not do what you should to have. that not my problem you can go back to threaten me if you want. your money is wear western union send it to and who ever collected it. you can talk tough to me, but i not care. i do right thing and you have to except this. phffffft. i say that when i not impress with you making threat. phffffft. call your bank. call my bank. call every bank. bank bank bank bank bank.

(yep...Franky's had enough of Monk)

ok i would do just that but dont mail me asking to call them back cus you are just about to start your troubles...monkton my asssssss

oh, you threaten me some more? kewl. i cant not wait for you to make trouble for me, franky. i not feard of you. i laugh at you. hahahahaha you silly, silly man.

Franky would respond no more, so I look forward to what Franky thinks will be trouble for me, since his check was verified as fraudulent by Corporate Security at the bank on which it was allegedly drawn. Yup...oughta be interestin, I reckon.

Anyway, Franky's originally intended victim is happy. I'm happy. I hope you're happy. I know Franky isn't. Especially since I've been sending him "phfffffffffffffffffft" emails ever since we finished (about 3 dozen up to now) ;-)

14 Comments:

Blogger Debbie said...

Have you ever gotten some of these scammers arrested? Wouldn't that just be delicious!

Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

14 September, 2009 07:33  
Blogger ChristinaJade said...

I am so gonna steal that, "phfffffffffft" email thing. I can think of about 27 1/2 people that need that right about now. :)

14 September, 2009 07:50  
Blogger Herb said...

"i have box of powder donuts i share with police when they come. police like donuts. i make friends with them. phffffft."

BFI? Like the trash people?

I have so much to learn I feel as humble Grasshopper.

14 September, 2009 07:54  
Blogger Sandee said...

I love it. These folks are such fun for you aren't they? I know the answer to that.

Have a terrific day. :)

14 September, 2009 10:25  
Blogger Serena said...

Franky is crazy. For real. Yikes.;)

14 September, 2009 14:56  
Blogger Andy said...

Skunks, I is conspired! I gots me two Niggerians, and one dutch princess that are warm for my form.

After looking at the end of this, I think I'm gonna have to stop punching the "delete" button.

"hi, I velly intrustrud in proposul! me Fathur left much mony to me 2."

I am conspired Skunks!

14 September, 2009 14:59  
Blogger Cheffie-Mom said...

Phfffftttt!! LOL!

14 September, 2009 15:23  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Skunkman, you have outdone yourself with this one.

ROTFLMAO

It is difficult to believe that you didn't make this one up. Franky has got to be dumber than a box of rocks to continue after the second or third try.

I did like the reference to the police and powdered doughnuts.

And the pffffffffft is priceless. Send them another from the rest of us.

Hell, make a couple of dozen.


snerx.

15 September, 2009 06:05  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Jack, no made-up. The intended victim got to read every email exchange as it happened ;) I'll be sending another salvo of phffffffft emails fer y'all.

15 September, 2009 06:35  
Blogger The Things We Carried said...

Oh my gosh, this just kills me! Perfect!

15 September, 2009 10:16  
Anonymous Leeuna said...

Skunk, this was by far the best one ever! I could tell by Franky's emails that he was getting closer and closer to having a stroke. phfffffft. Hilarious.

15 September, 2009 16:48  
Blogger The Things We Carried said...

Thanks for the great big laugh at my blog :). You should digress more often! I am slowly losing my mind it appears!

15 September, 2009 18:54  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Almost wet my pants!

16 September, 2009 20:32  
Blogger A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Go Skunk! I just read your diaglogue with this Nigerian skunk to my husband and we both roared. It's good you are writing about these scams because in this economy, I can totally see nice, innocent people "cash" the check, seeing their account balance go up, spend it and then get all afraid when the Nigerian threatens FBI enforcement. Keep on keeping on.

16 September, 2009 20:52  

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