Thursday, September 3, 2009

Bear Necessities


Three recent stories that seem to be colliding in an ever-increasing lack of coincidence:
1. Massive forest fires in Califorlornia and other western states, including Colorado, with loads of smoke from those fires, wafting ever eastward.
2. The recent discovery of massive "pot" farms, hidden under the tree canopies of national forests, again in the west, and again to include in Colorado.
3. Lots of reports of hungry bears, stumbling into Colorado mountain communities, seeking junk food...
*TOING*
Among the bear "home invasion" reports that have recently surfaced, is one I can't independently verify, but can't bear to pass on *ducking boos and throwd empty drink cups*:
A bear was observed to somersault down a hill onto Main Street; it sat there for a moment, made a "shake-up" sound, then it staggered into a 7-11, ordering an extra large Slurpee, 12 packs of Twinkees, and a bag of malted milk balls. Then it parked itself on the front stoop, completely oblivious to the commotion around it, noshing on the junk food. Once satisfied, the bear belched, made a "peace sign" with it's front right paw, and skipped back toward the smoky woods, humming "One Toke Over The Line"...*
Just sayin'...
* the last might be sorta made up...maybe...

11 Comments:

Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Oh man. I can see the "bear obesity" problem looming ahead. And of course we'll need a federal tax to help curb that problem too.

03 September, 2009 05:16  
Blogger Andy said...

Skunks, when I lived near Durango one summer we had bears, bears everywheres! One literally did walk into a drug store in Pagosa Springs.

I guess it might be true that pot is a gateway drug...It never dawned on me, but he might have been looking for some harder stuff. Dunno.

03 September, 2009 06:15  
Blogger Sandee said...

I could see this happening. I think it's true. Bwahahahahahahaha. Wait, I don't want to be thought of as sheep.

Have a terrific day. :)

03 September, 2009 09:56  
Blogger Cheffie-Mom said...

Hahahahahaha! Peace!

03 September, 2009 09:59  
Blogger Frank Baron said...

Sounds entirely plausible to me.

You gonna eat those Cheesie Poofs?

03 September, 2009 10:47  
Blogger Debbie said...

That's funny. There was one of those bear stories where the beat entered a house, got what he wanted out of the cabinets, and left. One stop shopping, and it was free, ha.

Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

03 September, 2009 14:07  
Blogger Serena said...

If bears can go skateboarding, then wait for some human to send down a ladder so he can climb out of the skateboard park, then yeah, I think it must be true.:-)

03 September, 2009 16:52  
Blogger A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Any bear savvy enough to order a Slurpee is welcome at my house any time.

03 September, 2009 18:59  
Blogger The Things We Carried said...

Here I bought the whole thing until the last line ;). Never forgetting, of course, the writer who was telling the tale.

Thanks for you kind words to my post!

03 September, 2009 23:26  
Blogger ChristinaJade said...

Smoked-out bears with munchies.

AWESOMENESS! :)

04 September, 2009 20:44  
Blogger Herb said...

Well, you know, it could happen that way...

05 September, 2009 05:36  

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