Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Taming of the Screw -- I (of II)


*Blogger's Note: Entry #400! Woohoo!*
Nope, this is not a follow-up on the PETA sea kittens/pussies controversy (though I might get this person in dutch with PETA...nyuk nyuk, and I digress-ski).
As the title attempts to imply, this might be more of my playing the role played by Richard Burton, in taming the 'shrew', played by Elizabeth Taylor, in the movie/Broadway show of a similar title.
I'll let you readers decide how I dun at the end.
Blog readers, meet Elena. Elena Bassanova (not sure if she or her handlers intended the pun or not). She first contacted me via an email address that is a vacuum for scam/spam mail. From thence, I forwarded her pitch -- the "seeking American man for relationship" one -- to one of my regular baiting email accounts for pending foller-up.
I did the usual with this one. First, I checked her name with some websites that feature Russian scammers of the "marriage" variety. She didn't show up there. Then, I checked her first-submitted photos on a couple of other sites. Likewise, she/they didn't show up there.
Hmmmm. A new one, perhaps? Or maybe...just maybe...a legit Russian female? PUH-LEASE.
So, for good measure, I forwarded her opening email to a second account I use for baiting as well, and responded to her under yet another of my baiting guises, just as a 'test', if you will. Within two days, she appeared to flunk the 'test' with flying colors: she responded with identical letters and photos to both.
Now, that in itself proves nothing underhanded. Women 'shop around' for the best deal all the time. So why not when seeking an internet relationship? Then again, would a legit woman seek internet companionship blindly, via an email address I have no idea how she got?
Well, the 'benefit of the doubt' sort of held up until email exchange #3, when Elena told the very simple Myra Manes that "I am for you and only you, I am not the write to all others". The next day, the more urbane Jack N. Ewehoff got the exact same email.
*TOING* Game on.
From mid-November to late December, Myra/Jack continued to receive the exact same letters and photos, with Myra getting them first, and Jack a day later. Elena's grasp of English is good, but not so much in written form, as this example of one paragraph will show:
Hi my love Myra! Was very glad to see your letter. It was very pleasant to receive again the letter from you. I hope, that you do not object to my questions which I now shall set. Because that we continued between us the correspondence very important as far as the person can listen to you and turn to you attention. And so my first question, what I would like to know than you are in engaged in general? Why I ask on such with a kind simple questions attention to please very much be patience with me then I can understand your vital representation as you behave and in the life.
You get the idea, I think. I know I did, I think.
Elena also sent -- besides the largest collection of photos I've ever received from one scammer -- a voice recording in mp3 format, that she said was her reading something "of love" to Myra. And a day later, to Jack. The same file -- and the very same voice -- that I have received now from about a dozen Russian scamstresses.
The character Myra was a more simple soul -- a snow plow driver from Central City, Colorado -- who fell head over heels for Elena ("Sweet Elena, each and every letter you send to me, and each photo that reveals your prettiness to me, makes to me a connection of love that I cannot deny or wish to deny; you have won my heart as no other ever can do!"....yeah, I know...mush-ack, but with Elena, she reckons I be hooked).
Jack Ewehoff was a manufacturing sort from Waterloo, Iowa, a bit more sophisticated and eloquent ("Darling Miss Elena, your letters are a salve to the emptiness of my soul, and an electric dipstick to the oil of my heart on a subzero day in the life. You clothe me with warmth and love, and I am not ashamed to say to you that I am beyond honored to be your one and only love, and to reciprocate that affection expotentially").
Yeah, what he said.
Unfortunately for Elena and/or her handlers, juggling an unknown number of internet "lovers" can get a bit confusing. Especially when two of them are the same scambaiter ;-) So in mid-December, Elena inadvertently sends Jack Ewehoff an email that was sent the day before to Myra....without removing Myra's name.
Don't scammers HATE when that happens?
So "Jack" takes the opportunity thus offered, to begin to bow out of the correspondence (he's got another one working by now), by writing and demanding of Elena, "just who is this Myra character? You told me I was your one and only love, and here you send me a letter that professes all of your love and affection for this Myra person! I demand to know what is going on?"
Elena's next response to Jack -- again, a carbon copy of what she sent to Myra, save for two sentences -- doesn't 'satisfy' Jack: about what you Myra speak to me? Repeat to me your question like for to me understand this more? Then, she goes on to repeat, one for word, her usual professions of love and affection. Which, of course, Jack doesn't buy: I am disappointed in your answer. You didn't answer my question about who Myra is, and why are you writing to him the same things you are writing to me. I feel deceived. Explain this to my satisfaction or we're done.
Elena's next letter -- just short of Christmas -- completely ignores the Myra issue, and Jack pulls the plug: Elena, you have lied to me. We are done. Goodbye.
And that's the last Jack hears from Elena, while the thoroughly-smitten Myra continues on.
By Christmas, Myra has proposed to Elena; and she has accepted, pending travelling here. All of her correspondence thereafter concludes with "your wife Elena".
*snort*
But this isn't the end of the "taming of the screw". Jack Ewehoff has bowed out, 'tis true; but Myra has hep on the horizon. In Part II, Elena finally gets around asking for money, Myra's "unexpected departure", and a third character finds Elena perfectly content to perpetuate the scam, even in the wake of 'heartache'.

5 Comments:

Blogger Little Lamb said...

They just never give up on you.

14 February, 2009 06:23  
Blogger Jack K. said...

You do know how to mess with them thar scammers. I'm proud of you lad, proud of you.

Keep up the good work.

btw, isn't Myra a female name? hmmm.

Thanks for not asking for $$$

15 February, 2009 06:41  
Blogger Debbie said...

Nothing gets by your investigative skills Skunkfeathers.

Did you ask her for a, oh what do they call it when the bride's family has to fork over some money, kingdom or something to the grooms???

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

15 February, 2009 11:05  
Blogger Herb said...

As always, you are the master. You did everything but tell her that you were scamming her, so, except that I have seen it before, she should dump you both like a hot borscht...or, er, something.

16 February, 2009 03:05  
Blogger Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well, a girl has to make a living somehow. Bwahahahahahah. There are a ton of then out there too. I love how you play the game with them though.

Have a terrific day. :)

16 February, 2009 16:45  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home